“…how you talked me into sending that to you? I’ll never know. f-ck it, girl. I’m bout whatever, tho." -Drake, "Recognize"
While talking to an older relative, she asked me why my generation was so obsessed with sharing everything. I didn’t have much of an answer for her, because I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr. And I’ve sent a nude or 15. I guess it’s just how we do things. This relative, a 60-plus-year-old woman who “doesn’t trust Google” and probably still has money hidden under a mattress somewhere, just didn’t get it, and I was in no position to explain it to her without sharing some rather frisky details about myself. We millennials are into documenting and sharing everything. I mean, if it wasn't caught on Snapchat did it really even happen?
On the topic of nudes, allow me to start by saying I believe them to be a pretty cool way to keep things spicy. It took me a bit of time to come around to the idea of taking half-naked pics, but when I found myself in a long-distance relationship that went on for nearly two years, I decided to give it a try. I trusted my boyfriend and wanted to make him happy. But when I decided to try my hand at my inaugural nude, I couldn't help but wonder how I'd react to having my mentions explode because my nipples made their way onto Twitter.
How would I tell my mother that I wanted to make my boyfriend's day and that's why my ass is plastered all over the explore page of IG?
Luckily, I've never had to defend my nudes. The recipient(s) know that I will sue them for every single pair of Jordans they own and come for their mommas' too. But, not all women can relate to that. I've been on Twitter for about 7 years and I've seen my share of pictures leaked by jaded lovers. In the early days, leaked photos meant deactivating your account because it's over. These gross invasions of privacy led to endless retweets and droves of folks cheering on the leaker. Thankfully, those days are almost over. Now, the leaking of nude photos is often blamed on the true fool, a.k.a. the person who thought stooping to such a level and violating someone who trusted them was cool. Society is now much less forgiving of those who resort to said tactics and legislature has been passed in several states to protect victims against what has been dubbed “revenge porn.”
Unsurprisingly, victims of revenge porn are usually 15- to 25-year-old women who did nothing but document intimate moments with a non-deserving idiot. Though there is no way to ensure that you never become the star of some revenge porn flick (outside of completely opting out of sending them, which is no fun), there are ways to protect your privacy in the event that you don't know someone as well as you thought. Here are a few tips:
- No face, no case. Angles are our friends. They have the ability to enhance the sexy and show off one's creativity. A solid lip + boob shot can be much more effective than an entire selfie.
[Tweet "A solid lip + boob shot can be much more effective than an entire selfie."]
- Try to avoid showcasing distinctive tattoos and birthmarks. If you have an insane chest piece, consider throwing on a tank and using good lighting to get a solid nipple pic, Or, stay out of the boob area entirely and send pics of your…well, something that could belong to any woman, if you catch my drift.
- Please don't use THAT mirror. If these pictures do find their way onto the timeline, it’s kinda hard to say it wasn’t you when it has those blue curtains from Target’s 2013 back-to-college collection. You know, the same exact ones in just about every other selfie you’ve posted in the last two years. Location. It's all about location.
- STAY AWAY FROM F-BOYS. If you've seen him leak pics of other women, please proceed with caution. Any guy who has, alludes to or jokes about leaking pictures is probably not someone you should be sending your nani to. Just saying.
Lastly, if someone ever does try to use your nude photos against you, remember that you are NOT the problem. You did what you did in confidence and probably looked damn good doing it.
At worst, you’ll have to explain it all to your dad, but at best, you could end up with a Kim Kardashian-sized come-up. Or maybe just an episode of Love and Hip-Hop. Ya never know!
What are some of your tips and tricks for sending nudes? Share with us below.
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