I sometimes wonder if a novel named Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Hoe would fly off the shelves the way Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man would.
Why do you need to think like a man when your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, honey? I'm not talking about the actual act of putting that juicy gripper on someone, but why don't we ever talk about the power of femininity and seduction as much as we should? Goddesses like Rihanna don't contanstanly have to talk about how great they are in bed, instead they walk around in their big dick energy that lets you know she can snatch your soul, your man, and your wallet whenever she pleases.
Often, it is not even about using your vagina to get what you want, but the promotion of it to create an exciting experience for both you and a lucky somebody. In general, it is perfectly acceptable to be sexualized by the male gaze but God forbid when we start taking charge of our bodies, sexuality, and expression. Many of us get labeled a "hoe."
People throw the word "hoe" around towards any woman brave enough to act outside socially constructed female norms. Yet, we all like to try on "hoe" when it's convenient with statements like, "Girl, imma shake my ass like a hoe tonight." We subconsciously acknowledge the power of seduction but bring it out as often as a Halloween costume.
Let me fill you in on something: Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Slut shaming is old, corny, and just plain ignorant because a woman is a multidimensional being. Sexism and misogyny teaches us that men can be sexual beings, but women can only function in a way that satisfies the male gaze at the time. If he's looking for a wife: be submissive, nurturing, and modest. If he's looking for a hot girlfriend: be spontaneous, sexy, and glamorous at all times. If she wants a man with wealth, she is a gold digger.
Well, I am here to say, F*CK That. What Are You Looking For Girl?
It is totally possible to have the sensuality, art of seduction, and fun times of a "hoe," the moral and values and life goals of a "classy lady," and the desire to be dicked down like a dumb slut, because these concepts are not mutually exclusive. I ask you a simple question: What would your love life look like if you weren't so afraid to be judged and judge yourself so harshly? Would you have more orgasms? Get your rent paid? Make your sexual fantasies a reality? Have the confidence to go for a higher caliber of men? If so, consider the following steps and start acting up!
Start Dressing To Erect More Often Than Not
You are a beautiful young woman, it's time to embrace it and have some fun every now and then with your wardrobe. Unevolved women feel intimidated by a confident woman strutting her stuff around in something sexy, but that does not have to be you. Work with what you have and flaunt what your momma gave you every once in while. This is not only for single women, but for involved and married women too! Find your personal style of being sexy. Maybe your style of sexy is showing a little shoulder here and thigh there. Go on a date night without your bra and let them nipples say hello. Give him a little visual hint that you dont have any pantes on. Walk Stank. Get him thirsty and open and act like you know that you are a goddess, because you are. Getting comfortable with your sexy side outside of the bedroom will empower you.
Let Go Of The Serious Attitude
Life is a rat race where we are constanlying hustling and bustling, and it can take a toll on our vibe. Many of us are so adamant about finding Mr. Right that it gives off a vibe of inflexibility and downright coldness.You may meet a fine man during a night out and want him to blow your back out and that's fine, every man you date will not be your husband! Practice being open minded, connected to your own feelings, present and engaging instead of focusing on what turns men on and what men are looking for. Stop constantly focusing on what you bring to the table and realize you are the whole damn table, and can manifest the man you want sitting across from you or laying up under you. You are a whole person my love, and your fun conversation and engaging body language is what reels a man in and keeps him wanting more. Step up your conversational skills! You don't have to know about the latest sports or about cars, find something to talk about outside of the daily grind that you are passionate and excited about because it is nothing more sexy and memorable than a passionate woman.
If You Are Not Seriously Involved, Stop Dating One Man At A Time
The beloved hoe-tation is something that many of us women stray away from once we get in our feelings. We start dating a man for a few weeks and then Boom! That burning feeling in your chest is not your heart falling, but your common sense leaving your body and you turn on your tunnel vision. Whether he is the man that you prayed for or if he meets your standards, don't let anyone shame you for having options, especially while you're single and just out there dating. You don't really have the time to start over-thinking and self-sabotaging the connection with one man when you are busy being wined and dined by the next one. If anything, dating more than one man at a time creates an opportunity and the distance necessary for the man of your dreams to pursue and win you over. That way when you do find Mr. Right, you know in your heart that you chose him out of desire instead of fear and loneliness. Your exclusivity is a gift that a man has to earn, don't be giving it all easy!
Be Picky, He Has To Be Able To Match You Or Progress You!
Learn how to size a man up very quickly in order to categorize him into two subcategories : potential husband and penis. Destiny's Child did not leave us "Bills, Bills, Bills" just to bop to. Can he help you out, is a serious question you really should be asking yourself. We have set the bar so low for men to the point that they still limbo under it into our hearts and beds! Him having a good job, college degree, taking care of his kids, and loving his momma is the bare minimum. If you had a financial emergency, could the man that you are giving all that sweet loving and attention to lend you a helping hand? If the answer is no, you have to really take some time and reconsider your dating habits because you can do bad all by yourself and a vibrator. Maybe finance is not the most important factor in your world however, make sure you are choosing someone who can help you on your journey of manifesting your best life, whether that be spiritually, emotionally, financially or all of the above.
This is 2018, we are looking for partners, not fixer uppers. The attention and good times he gives you will not make up for the lack of support he will be able to offer during difficult times, so invest yours wisely. As Missy Elliot once said, "Ain't no shame ladies, do your thang. Just stay ahead of the game." It is time to make your own rules to the dating game. Be safe and have fun. It's your world, these men just live in it.
Related Stories:
Why Every Woman Needs to Invest in a Dating Roster - Read More
A Letter To My Teenage Self During My Hoe Phase - Read More
Feeling Yourself is the Vital Step To Finding The Love Of Your Life - Read More
My First One Night Stand Changed The Way I Feel About Sex- Read More
Featured image by Giphy
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
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At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy
