There's something about Summer Walker that has many of us with one hand over our eyes while watching her like a car wreck and in the next moment saying, "Same, sis." If it's not her beauty and talent, then it's her turbulent relationship with beau and the future father of her unborn child, London On Da Track. Summer, who recently confirmed her pregnancy with the successful music producer, is one of the hottest R&B artists out at the moment, and from the outside looking in, it should be a musical match made in heaven. However, as the two are both seemingly fighting their own demons, the off-and-on relationship has been everything but.
Summer Walker/Instagram
Summer and London's relationship is one that requires us to sit back and think about our standards and values as we watch their romantic lives unfold online. Among others, questions come up like, "How many times have I let a partner get away with treating me in a way that was less than I deserved?" or "How many times did I think if I just loved someone a little harder, I could change them?" Well, I can tell you at Summer's age (she's 24), my love life was a hot ass mess so I'm not here to shade her nor anyone else figuring out love. However, I am reminded of a lesson I learned and relearned while navigating love and relationships: you can't change a man, he has to want to change himself. The moment I find myself trying to change a man is the moment I need to direct energy back to myself.
Although she might have seen the signs that London could potentially be just as absent with their child as he is with his others, Summer would often defend him. Recently, the "Girls Need Love" songstress expressed her truth in the situation via a variety of posts on her Instagram stories:
"I tried to get him to spend time with his other kids as much as I could. He ain't want to because he's selfish. I tried to get his baby mama's to let him see the kids, they didn't want to cause they was bitter and hated me for no reason. I tried to get everybody to just get the f-ck along like one big happy family and instead, everyone just want's to sh-t on me and now I just have the sh-t end of the stick...
She continued:
"Black men gotta start doing better when it comes to being a father. My grandfather lame, my father lame, and dis n*gga lame. I guess the cycle will just continue. I guess n*ggas still dealing with the shackles of mental slavery or some sh-t, back when white men ripped you from your families and beat you to death if you tried to protect them. It goes deep. Sh-t's really sad.
"But that's how it goes when everybody spiritually and mentally undeveloped. Idk wtf I was thinking.
"But at least I can afford to take care of my child."
Summer Walker think she exposing London, but she really exposing herself and that she was cool sleeping with a man who was deadbeat to 3 separate kids until her child was one of the ones being neglected. SMH
— Qᴜᴇᴇɴ ᴏғ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ (@KorySKirk) November 28, 2020
If you are thinking, "What in the Future is going on here?", you aren't alone, sis is probably asking herself the same question. Unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, the way that you allow a person to treat you is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. It is easy to observe that if Summer with all that she's accomplished, all of her potential, feels most valuable when she is out here hustling for her worth in her romantic relationship, she has a lot of work to do.
Regardless i hate manipulative men who are all around trash and narcissistic (for no reason). Spreading your seed shouldn’t be a stamp of approval to your ego you turkey baster. Ground yourself... get a therapist maybe? Then your kids won’t grow up resenting you
— astro girl (@therealkimj) November 28, 2020
If not for herself, then for her child that will be affected the most looking into the brokenness of their mother trying to find their reflection. This appears to be a very deep-rooted issue with self-value mixed with the terror of venturing out completely on her own. The pivot to a therapist's couch isn't an impossible one to make, just a little harder with a baby in her belly and her Bob-the-Builder tool belt on.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you can't change that man, sis. You can only change yourself.
All of this is unfortunate. But she’ll get it together. She has no choice now
— sagitterrrrrrroist (@Jahniquexo) November 28, 2020
Summer is making the best first step: admitting that there is a problem. She is with a man who has his fair share of issues in fatherhood and relationships. She did forge full speed ahead into a lifelong commitment with a man while ignoring all the red flags and writing on the wall. She did think that if she just loved someone outside of herself just a little bit harder she could change them. She's just like us, or like me for what it's worth, and she has the power to change her life if she so chooses.
It's never too late to level up sis and attract a love that you truly deserve.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Instagram/Summer Walker
Since her debut to the public eye as Prince Harry's love interest, as his wife and now-mother to his first child, it has been very clear that there is not much that will get in the way of Meghan Markle speaking her truth and leaving an impact on this world. The Duchess of Sussex revealed that in July of 2020 she suffered a miscarriage that rocked her world, not only because of the devastation but because her body forewarned her that something wasn't quite right. She shared in a personal essay posted to The New York Times about her experience while tending to her son:
"After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right."
She and her husband found out that they lost their baby later on that day, and though they were grateful that she was still healthy physically, the emotional turmoil that ensued was very overwhelming. In a moment's time, she was forced to accept the death of a life that grew inside of her for months, and she had to step into the consciousness of a wife who was present to process the grief with her equally devastated husband.
As the parents of two children, one that just passed away and the one at home, their lives changed forever in a matter of hours. Sprinkle the fame on top of all of that and it is a recipe to make anyone go crazy. During this time she was able to discover that though she could not voice her exact feelings, just being asked how she felt was way more valuable than words can describe. She shared:
"'Are you OK?' a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many — new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn't responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.'Thank you for asking,' I said. 'Not many people have asked if I'm OK.'"
ComposedPix / Shutterstock.com
Not too long ago Entertainment Times reported that Meghan and her husband may have been attempting to increase their chances of having twins using the IVF process that, by the accounts of other women like Michelle Obama, Gabrielle Union, and many others prove that it can be grueling on both a woman's body, emotional wellness, and relationship.
Thanks to the transparency of other women, the twists, turns, wins, and losses that may come with the journey to motherhood are coming to the light instead of festering in the darkness. Meghan is using her voice and platform to amplify the experiences of the people who are affected when we use the verbiage of statistics, lowkey wishing that we will never become one. The truth is, everyone is fairly susceptible to miscarriage which usually occurs within the first 12 weeks of pregnancy and some people miscarry before even finding out they're expecting.
Meghan and Harry, we sure do hope you are getting better each day. To anyone who is suffering from pregnancy/infant loss, we hope that you find some peace too.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by lev radin / Shutterstock.com
If there's one thing Pharrell Williams is synonymous with other than music, it's his ability to look eternally youthful. At 47, Pharrell has managed to look virtually the same for the last 20 years. And now the multihyphenate is dropping the skincare routine that is the secret behind his age-defying looks, granting us unlimited access to the fountain of youth. Consider us ready to take a drink.
In addition to his profile in style and music as an icon, the "Happy" artist has long since been noted as skincare goals by anyone who comes across him and in interviews is often asked the question (in some form or fashion), "What's your skincare routine?" His forthcoming skincare line Humanrace will answer that question in totality for once and for all.
With the launch of Humanrace, Pharrell is proving skincare and self-care is not only a woman thing, it's a human thing. The vegan, clean, fragrance-free, gender-neutral skincare line offers something for everyone and will help us level up our skincare game. The line is a collaboration between Pharrell and his dermatologist, Dr. Elena Jones, and will be released in phases, similarly to another singing beauty entrepreneur we all know.
First up in his skincare line debut are three products, aptly referred to as "The Three-Minute Facial". He shared in a press release:
"It's created to take three minutes morning and night. Your face is the result of the spirit behind it; it's important to take care of your skin and to also take time for yourself each day."
Is Pharrell out here giving a sermon about skincare or my life? Either way, I have been delivert! "The Three-Minute Facial" includes: A cleanser, an exfoliant, and a moisturizer.
The Rice Powder Cleanser ($32) arrives dry, and once mixed with water it leaves your skin so fresh and so clean. An added bonus is that its ingredient list contains AHAs. The Lotus Enzyme Exfoliator ($46) is a great follow-up to the cleanser and includes glycolic acid which does wonders for evening the skin, reducing acne, and minimizing the appearance of pores and wrinkles. The final step is the Humidifying Cream ($48) where hyaluronic acid and snow mushroom extract is combined to add a creamy layer of moisture to your skin. Secure the bag and save some coins by opting for the Routine Pack ($100) which contains all three of the products in one.
The line is majorly inspired by his own skincare journey (which he started in his mid-twenties), so the line's focus on exfoliating should be of no surprise, as the entertainer has sung exfoliation praises in the past for getting his skin all the way together. In a 2017 interview with Dazed Digital, he stated:
"I exfoliate like a madman. When you exfoliate and you drink a lot of water, that does good for you. To me, the key is just exfoliating like a monster. There's a lot of dead skin. All the time. Like a narcissistic madman."
He further articulated that point recently when he sat with Allure Magazine to drop the details behind Humanrace. Pharrell explained:
"Sometimes you need to cleanse your spirit. Sometimes you just need to cleanse your mind. Sometimes you've just got to get rid of some dead skin.
"Sometimes you've got to get rid of some bad habits. Sometimes you just need to be humidified, brought to life. Sometimes your spirit needs that."
All of these products will be available exclusively on Humanrace.com which will launch on November 25.
Say less.
Until then, here is a timeline of Pharrell being skincare goals throughout the years:
2019
Cubankite / Shutterstock.com
2018
Ron Adar / Shutterstock.com
2015
Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
2014
Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
2007
s_bukley / Shutterstock.com
2005
Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by DFree / Shutterstock.com
I remember the era when Rihanna rebranded herself to the 'Good Girl Gone Bad' and released Rated R. It was my last year of high school actually, and I was mentally punching the air pissed off! How dare my Caribbean 'Music Of The Sun' princess become so edgy, dark, and forward in her music that acts as her inner monologue? How dare she show off her beautiful body, flaunt the most current fashion, talk about how much she loves to f*ck, stay up all night, party like a rockstar, and sleep in all day while I hold on to my good girl identity as if my life depended on it? Like there's going to be some VIP lounge in heaven that I am going to be escorted to the very front of with my husband holding my hand, looking me in my eye telling me, "Babe, I am so happy you never learned how to suck d*ck before I met you. Really, that's the highlight of our marriage."
GiphyAnd then, about a few months later, I was off to college, I had half my hair shaved off with extra-long hair on the right side, and I was reciting affirmative lyrics that let a man know if I can't feel pleasure when I give him access to my body, I'm not fake moaning and groaning. I also got well-acquainted with a few 'Rude Boys'. In short, I emulated the 'Good Girl Gone Bad'.
Turns out, hate is just confused love.
Erica Campbell is out here giving advice on love and marriage, bless her heart, taking one of my favorite bops "God In Me" too seriously in a recent Instagram post:
"You can't sow Hoe seeds and reap marriage benefits. Your brain and body don't switch like that. You gotta prepare your mind for marriage because it's a ministry You will crave what you have put in practice. Can't wait for y'all to hear my podcast. Ooohhh we gon talk!!! #marriage #monogamy #marriageminded #prepareyourself"
Now, I'm going to give the good sis an "A" for effort for coming on The Morning Hustle to offer some clarity to her generally unsolicited, baseless and internalized misogynistic message. She did sprinkle a little bit of truth with lies in the original statement but swiftly corrected herself. Erica explained:
"I said you can't sow hoe seed and think you're going to reap marriage benefits. And what I meant by that is monogamy must be practiced. It's not something that happens automatically. If you're in the practice of sleeping around, doing whatever—and I'm coming from a believer's perspective because that's what I am. I know there's a benefit in being with one person. That was God's design for our life. I know that a lot of people, dealing with broken hearts, they'll say, 'Fine, I don't care. I'ma do what I want.' And you can. But the benefits of marriage are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful."
That's not what she initially said, but moving right along!
Los Angeles Kiss GIF by NBAGiphyNow believe this, hoes be winning outchea. What is a hoe exactly? Well...hmm...the definition depends on who you are asking right? Seems like it's a social construct to stop women from exploring their sexuality ta meee! I don't hear a whole lot of people telling men, "Respect yourself, King, boys will not be boys, you keep on preparing to be a husband your entire adult life until she arrives."
Marriage is undoubtedly a lifestyle that every man and woman have to prepare for, there were no lies told there. However, this nice nasty disposition rooted in what looks like an attempt to banish women who love who they want and f*ck who they choose into oblivion was in poor taste, and just not well thought-out. The Highest is the most gracious, the most merciful, and can turn water into wine. I don't think the magic just stops happening when it's time to turn 'a hoe into a housewife'. Most importantly, every person has the ability to create a life that they love and that includes manifesting a healthy, loving relationship if they so choose.
Erica, just live ya life...
Featured image by Shutterstock
