Deep within all of us lies parts of our past that may be difficult to face. From harsh words spoken to us as a child to traumatic events that changed the course of our lives, there are more than enough reasons to avoid facing life’s most challenging moments straight on. Still, some self-help practices have found that approaching the “dark side” of our early development can be the key to unlocking the light within our future selves.
Popularized by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung in 1930, ‘shadow work’ is defined as a practice of tapping in with your unconscious mind to reveal the deep, inner parts that have been hidden or repressed over time. It’s the process of exploring and working with the aspects of ourselves that we tend to ignore, deny, or suppress. These aspects are often referred to as our "shadow," which includes traits such as fear, anger, envy, and other emotions or behaviors that we may not have the tools or capacity to acknowledge and accept.
Your shadows are the traumas, memories, or aspects of your personality that you’ve attempted to run from because they’ve been perceived to be undesirable or bad. But according to Jung’s work, utilizing our unconscious mind to reveal and work through our shadows is essential to our journey toward wholeness.
Everyone has a dark side, but contrary to popular belief, this aspect of who we are isn’t inherently negative or something to be ashamed of. Our shadows have served an important role in forming who we are and according to Connie Zweig and Steven Wolf, authors of Romancing the Shadow, our shadow is “not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be faced.”
Taking time to uncover the pieces of yourself that have been hidden away can serve as a powerful pathway to unmasking and accepting the highest version of yourself.
How To Start Shadow Work
Approaching your shadow work first begins with self-acceptance. Making a note of the qualities and quirks about yourself that you have avoided or suppressed is essential to confronting the fears, insecurities, past traumas, and negative thought patterns you want to heal and accept.
By shining a light on these parts of yourself, you can begin to understand them, show yourself self-compassion, and know that you are worthy of love and acceptance regardless of your past. And with tools like therapy, meditation, and journaling, you’ll be equipped to delve deeper into the hidden parts of yourself and gain the answers you’re seeking.
Curious about who you really are at the core? To help you start pulling back the layers, we’ve shared 15 shadow work journal prompts that will get you to the root of your being.
Shadow Work Prompts for Healing
- Which feelings or emotions do I try to hide?
- What do you believe to be true about yourself?
- How do I define freedom? What makes me feel trapped?
- What do I wish I could change about myself?
- What made you start doubting yourself as a child?
- What does it look like to have a healthy boundary with someone or something?
- Who is someone that has betrayed or hurt me? How do I feel about them right now?
- Write a letter to your younger self, what do they need and how would you comfort them?
- What situations make you feel less than or not good enough? Why do you think this is?
- What do you need to forgive yourself for at this moment?
- What is a quality or personality trait that you try to avoid about yourself?
- Where do I show up for others but fall short for myself?
- What dreams or goals have you let go of and why?
- Write about a time when you messed up and needed forgiveness. Did you ask to be forgiven? Did you apologize? How did it play out?
- What quality about yourself would you like to love more?
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Speak These Affirmations Daily When You're Ready To Call More Into Your Life
As we reflect on the year and set intentions for what's ahead, now is a perfect time to anchor into gratitude with affirmations that nourish the mind and spirit. Gratitude itself activates the brain’s reward pathways, releasing dopamine and serotonin, and increasing your overall mood and feelings of happiness. Incorporating gratitude in your everyday life can do wonders for your soul and is a powerful tool for your mental and emotional well-being.
Some affirmations will resonate with you more than others, and that's the beauty of the practice. It's personal. A good gratitude affirmation can change your perspective, create space for yourself to feel better, and overall help you see the gifts in your life that you may have missed before. Prioritizing your inner peace means choosing words that feel aligned, affirming, and true. Let these gratitude affirmations help you realign with what matters most.
Read for your sun and moon sign below for your gratitude affirmations right now.
Aries
“With every breath I take, I am bringing more and more gratitude into my life.”
“I am grateful for the present moment.”
“I am creating a life that feels good and I am in charge of my happiness.”
Aries is straight to the point and needs a gratitude affirmation as such. When it comes to the perfect affirmation for an Aries Sun or Aries Moon, you want to look at what is going to make them feel empowered but also help ground this fiery sign. Aries are always on the go and need affirmations that are going to help balance their active energy.
Taurus
“I trust that what's meant for me is already mine.”
“I am eternally grateful for all of the blessings I have in my life.”
“I express deep appreciation for the small steps I achieve each day.”
Tauruses are masters of the chill mode, yet can get setbacks with their stubbornness to move. Taurus does well with an affirmation that inspires them and helps them feel passionate about their life. When it comes to gratitude, Tauruses have a lot to be grateful for however, it can be missed by the focus on what other things they want in their life. The perfect gratitude affirmation for Taurus helps them identify what truly matters in life.
Gemini
“I am safe and grateful for the present moment.”
“With a sense of gratitude, I see the world in a new light. Each day is an opportunity and a gift.”
“The more I show my gratitude, the more good things I receive to be thankful for.”
Gemini is a sign that is always on the go, fueling their curious soul. They are the social butterflies of the Zodiac and need an affirmation that can help ground all of their active energy. Geminis thrive when they have some sort of stability in their life as well as freedom, and they need time to reflect often on how things are going. Gratitude for Gemini comes through by having a good balance in all areas of their life.
Cancer
“I am grateful for the opportunities in my life, and the opportunities that are on the way to me right now.”
“I am grateful for the abundance and the love I effortlessly attract.”
“I am grateful for the presence of love and support in my life.”
Cancers are often thinking of the things they are grateful for, and typically have a good attitude towards this area of their life. They are emotional souls, ruled by the 4th house of stability and gratitude, and know the importance of a grateful heart. This water sign, however, can do well with more active and self-empowering energy and needs a gratitude affirmation that reminds them that they are also the gift in this world.
Leo
“I am grateful for the love that surrounds me. I am free to be my authentic self.”
“I am grateful to others for the kindness they show me. I am filled with praise and gratitude.”
“I am grateful for all the lessons I learned, and I'm ready to move forward now.”
Leos are ruled by the heart and are more emotional souls than many people realize. This fire sign is self-empowered but soft on the inside, and they need gratitude affirmations that will reach them in this heart space. The perfect affirmations for Leos are ones that align with their passion for life and also their passion for love, connection, and reciprocity.
Virgo
“I am grateful for my body, for all that I am, and for all that I have.”
“I am open to things working out for me. I am open to receiving abundance.
"I am open to connecting with my highest self.”
“Every day, I'm going to be more mindful of the small blessings I should be thankful for.”
Virgo is a sign that is grounded, practical, and intuitive. Yet, they are also a sign that can be in their head a lot, and tend to be prone to worrying. Virgos do well with gratitude affirmations that can bring them back to the gifts of the present moment, and that help them connect to their body more. This is a sign that needs an affirmation that can help balance their heart and their mind.
Libra
“I am grateful for everything I have been through because it has led me to where I am today.”
“I am so grateful for how loved I am and how much people care about me.”
“My family and friends support me, and I am grateful for their love.”
Libras are a more mental sign and they spend a lot of time in their headspace. The perfect gratitude affirmation allows them to see things from a bigger perspective and helps remind them of all they have to be grateful for. Being ruled by Venus, the planet of love, a good gratitude affirmation for them will also involve their relationships and the harmony they are always striving for here.
Scorpio
“I’m extremely grateful for my ability to be aware of the thoughts that serve me and the thoughts that do not serve me.”
“My heart is open and receptive to giving and receiving love. I am a magnet for positive, loving experiences.”
“I am grateful for the process, not just the destination.”
Scorpio is a sign that tends to see things in black and white. A great gratitude affirmation for Scorpio will help them find greater balance in their life, and also emotionally regulate. This is an emotional soul who benefits from learning more about their emotions and finding gratitude in all the experiences they move through, both good and bad.
Sagittarius
“I am happy and grateful for everything I have and receive daily.”
“I am grateful for my dreams and I know I have the power to manifest them.”
“I’m grateful for my strength and for my optimism in life.”
Sagittarius is the free-spirit, adventurous sign of the Zodiac. The perfect gratitude affirmation for this sign encompasses all that Sagittarius strives for, but also one that can help them feel safe within the present moment as well. Sagittarius is a futuristic thinker and needs a good gratitude affirmation that reminds them that the true gifts and possibilities are within the now rather than the later.
Capricorn
“I’m thankful for the smart choices that I make and I release all the pressure I put on myself.”
“Life gives me abundant blessings to be grateful for, and I know that I am worthy of them.”
“The more I pay attention to everything in life that is working in my favor, the happier I am and the better my life gets.”
Capricorns are ambitious and hard-working souls, but they are more prone to pessimism than most as well. The perfect gratitude affirmation for this earth sign, helps them believe in the seemingly impossible and helps them feel empowered in the things they are striving for. This sign tends to be successful in whatever they put their mind to, and they need a gratitude affirmation that is going to remind them of that and help them be proud of themselves and their accomplishments more.
Aquarius
“I am grateful for the community I live in.”
“I am grateful for who I am and what I know.”
“I am grateful for the inspiration in my life right now.”
Aquariuses are master manifesters and they know that the key to manifestation is gratitude. This sign can thrive more, however, when they are focused on the present moment rather than what they can create for the future. This is a fixed sign, after all, and they can get stuck in certain mental patterns and thinking that don’t serve them. When looking at gratitude affirmations, Aquarius needs something that is going to highlight the hope in their life.
Pisces
“I am grateful for my sense of gratitude. I know it is the way to joy, peace, and the life of my dreams.”
“All I have right now is this moment is enough. For that, I am grateful.”
“I am grateful for my heart, and my ability to love.”
Pisces is a dreamy soul that is often wandering through the fantasies of life. This optimism and mental expansion serve them well when it comes to manifesting their desires, but it can also be difficult for this sign to feel grounded in life. When it comes to gratitude, this energy comes from the present moment and your feet planted firmly in the ground. Pisces thrive with a gratitude affirmation that can help them feel more safe and secure in the present.
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Originally published on November 25, 2024