Many have touted the benefits of journaling, especially when it comes to one's mental health. I've always been one to keep a diary, but in recent years, journaling has become quite challenging for me. Nowadays, I feel like my thoughts are moving way faster than my hands can write, which frustrates me to the point of not even bothering to write them down. (And I'm not a fan of putting my personal business online or on my phone via an app. I'm one of those people who fears that there's always somebody who either has access or can gain access and the possibility is just too creepy and scary for me to even attempt to use any digital form of a journal—cybersecurity be damned.)
One day, I was trying to think of ways to recommit to journaling, especially since I've been through quite a few career and life transitions (Weight loss and master's degree, anyone?), and came across the concept of journal prompts.
They're basically targeted, open-ended questions that lead to a more structured way of writing down your thoughts. The premise reminds me of the training I've recently completed for my master's studies, where coaches are able to guide their clients toward successful outcomes versus just telling them what to do.
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Journal prompts have offered me a method of self-exploration, reflection, and focus that takes a bit of the overwhelming annoyance out of trying to obsessively control the process of journaling (which, for me, is a self-defeating and counter-productive habit). I feel more at peace answering such questions and I'm less apt to rush through the journaling process, something that is supposed to add peace to my day, not lump-in-the-throat loathing.
Here are a few favorites I've turned to as a self-employed, type-A Capricorn who always has 50 million things going on, is constantly in her head, and needs brain-dump release with a side of return-on-my-time-investment:
- What personal milestones did you reach last week related to your business or work?
- What was your “a-ha moment” this week? (If there wasn't one, explain why).
- Who is your ideal client? Why?
- What motivates you to continue doing what you do?
- What does a great work-life balance look like for you?
- What business win did you experience this week? (And how did it make you feel?)
- How did you feel after taking meetings today? Which one was your favorite? Which was your least favorite? Why?
- Who is one business leader you admire? Why?
- Who is someone who you consider your competition and what are three things you admire about them?
- Where do you see yourself revenue- or earnings-wise in 30 days?
- What actions are you taking today to reach a revenue goal in 60 days?
- For you, what is the most annoying part of doing business?
- What are three daily routines you could possibly automate or delegate? (And explain how.)
- Who are three people who contribute to your daily business or work-related success? Why?
- What are three of your best qualities in doing business? (Describe why.)
- What's one new idea you'd like to make a reality for your work or business?
- What are three skills you could upgrade or improve on when it comes to how you run your business?
- What are three resources you'd like to tap into in order to grow your business or brand?
- What are three activities you could add to your workday that will make it fun?
- What are three Fortune 500 companies that have similar missions or values as you or your business? (Detail why.)
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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