Candice Jones On Healing Others And Herself
With a YouTube channel that boasts millions of views from her hair and skincare tutorials, beauty influencer Candice Jones knows what it takes to look great on the outside. But when it came to her mental wellbeing, Jones started feeling a disconnect. “Because a lot of the things that I was seeing on social media like: take a bath, pour you some wine,” Jones tells xoNecole about her initial attempts at self-care. “I was doing all of those aesthetic things, but it wasn't making me feel better.”
Jones’ turn to wellness came during a time in her life when she was dealing with a series of compounding anxieties. “What I considered the lowest point in my life,” Jones says, “where I graduated, I was working in a job that I didn't feel passionate about and I had my parents kind of like pushing me in a certain direction.” She continues: “And I felt very guilty for not performing the best when I was in school and then not pursuing my doctor career that they really wanted me.”
Unable to afford traditional therapy, Jones turned to the internet to begin her self-love journey. But she would quickly run into another unexpected roadblock. Jones found that a lot of the websites and online guides she turned to didn’t resonate with her as a Black woman. “The information was not coming from people that looked like me and people that I felt like other people would trust with their journey,” she says.
This led to Jones creating her wellness website Everything She Is. She describes the site as being “a platform for self-love, self-development for young girls and young women, self-empowerment, all of those kinds of things,” Jones says. “And we create tools and resources to help women along their self-love journeys as they come into womanhood.”
When creating the website, she says the first thing she wanted to address was self-acceptance. “That was something I grappled heavily with: finding myself,” Jones says. “Once I kind of uncovered a lot of the stuff that was there, a lot of things that I didn’t feel proud about, how to move forward and how to heal through self-acceptance I feel like a lot of people go through that when they’re transitioning - especially through womanhood.”
Jones sells guided self-love journals on the site that have helped in her process. “I was my first customer,” Jones says, “and it is something that really helped me kind of get to the bottom of what was really weighing me down.”
Jones says that her readers have also shared how much these journals have helped them too.
“It helps them dig deeper, ask questions that they would have otherwise not asked,” Jones says. “[Customers say] that the work has been difficult, but rewarding that a weight has been lifted, that they feel much freer and it's really just a story of, releasing. And sometimes that's what people need. Sometimes people just are carrying so much.”
Jones says that she also hopes that her website can be a guide for Black women on how to set their boundaries. “A lot of people around me are very self-sacrificing,” she says. “That strong Black woman trope that a lot of people are touching on now and resisting against with the soft-life movement is what I saw and what I wanted to breakdown the idea of kind of having to put yourself to the side in order for other people you’re around to advance.”
She is mindful about saying that her website is not an alternative to therapy for people who are able to access that and more so a companion to it. “Therapy is very, very, very important and something that we encourage,” Jones says. As she considers adding a formal education to her informal wellness training, she says that creating the website has been a way for her to help people in the meantime, “Just from a human aspect," she says. "Not from a scientific aspect or accolade or certification, but just being a human being and seeing women and myself struggle and wanting to be there and offer some help.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
Courtesy
I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
Courtesy
That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
Courtesy
So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
Courtesy
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy