Powerful Mantras & Meditation Techniques For Mindful Mamas
Mindful mamas are so much more than just #blackgirlmagic.
They're divine goddesses. Women with beautiful spirits, intense emotions, and wholesome values. Mindful mamas are in a league all their own and approach motherhood in a brilliant, unique fashion. They're driven by an intangible but omnipresent force. Mindful mamas are driven by their feminine spirit, which reminds them that each person on Earth is powerful… and they must be aware of how they (and their children) use that power.
Motherhood comes with the gift of life, the reincarnation of love in physical form. It's an honor to bring life into the world, but to raise conscious children- especially health conscious and socially conscious Black children- is no easy task. It can be even harder for mindful mamas because they place great importance (and burden) on themselves to raise sharp Black girls and strong Black boys. Over time, internalizing the self-imposed burden takes a toll on their mind, body, and soul and mindful mamas start pouring for their kids from a shallow cup. This is a mistake, but it can always be reversed.
Mindful mamas should take moments throughout the day to relax, free their minds of fear, and celebrate the divine goddesses within.
To preserve the spirit that fuels them, they must be selfish from time to time and restore themselves.
Mindful mamas tend to focus on their children and forget to focus on themselves. From focusing on ensuring children are focused in school to monitoring what fuel their putting into their bodies, mindful mamas are distracted and, as a result, pressed for time. But yes, even in a time crunch (and wherever they may be), these women should practice self-reflection. From health and wellness expert Gabriella Waters, here are the most powerful mantras and meditation techniques in the form of inspirational quotes to help those women relax, breathe easy, and know that while they're not perfect… they are perfectly trying.
A Quote For Relaxation
"To travel is to take a journey into yourself." - Danny Kaye
If this quote is difficult to remember, Waters recommends saying the following: "It flows from nose to toes." "I use this short sentence to prompt me to inhale a long, slow breath through my nostrils, before exhaling it slowly. I mentally picture the air traveling all the way down to my feet, taking my time to imagine the journey my breath will take. 10 of these deep breaths are reenergizing and calming, allowing me to check in with myself, relax, and intentionally release tension."
Mindful mamas can practice this anywhere, at any time of day- even if they must sneak away from their children into a dark hallway for a few minutes.
A Quote For Letting Go
"We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell
Waters calls letting go of negativity (or our expectations that didn't come to fruition as we hoped), holding a silent auction. "No matter how hard I try, there will always be occasions when I hold onto negative thoughts, or energy. I mentally hold a silent auction for those ideas and feelings. Would other people 'bid' on what I'm holding onto? Why am I clinging to things that have no value? Letting go of what doesn't serve me is key for my well-being. Sometimes that means amplifying the positive. Sometimes it means changing the environment."
Indeed, an environment change for a mindful mama can be as small as lighting a lavender candle on a nightstand long after the children are sleeping, and reflecting on the day under a plush heated blanket.
A Quote For Self-Care
"Solitude is creativity's best friend, and solitude is refreshment for our souls." - Naomi Judd
Waters is a fan of logging off to stop the internalization of self-imposed burdens and preserve her spirit. "If I want to really center myself, I need as few distractions as possible. I'm talking phone on airplane mode, television off, computer shutdown, and as quiet a space as I can find. The world is loud and distracting. Unplugging is a quick and easy way to center yourself, set intentions, and tune into your own thoughts and feelings."
An easy way for mindful mamas to enjoy solitude is to reclaim their time. If your children are enjoying activities in a safe environment (be it an after-school sport or visiting trusted family members)… leave. Be present for your children, but don't helicopter. If they're preoccupied and you have a quick opportunity to sit in a quiet car and center yourself, do so.
Featured image by Getty Images
Christine Carter is a voice for millennial moms (and uniquely, young black female professionals and mothers). She has been featured in and guest contributed to several global digital publications, including Forbes, TIME, Health, Ebony, Black Bride, Inc., Women's Health and many others.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images