

Lately, I've been trying to be more intentional about my dating life. In the past I've been afraid to voice the things I want and that's resulted in a few experiences I'm not proud of. One of the worst experiences is being "ghosted". For those who aren't familiar with the term, it's when you're dating someone and it seems to be going great, and then, poof, they disappear. Pre-Quarantine, I was actively making an effort to date more and become comfortable with transparency. That process made me wonder about a few mistakes from the past.
There was a guy I dated about a year ago. I always admired his hard-working spirit and honesty. We had a lot in common and always seemed to get along fine. And then one day, he disappeared. There was no argument or monumental moment to cause it, he just stopped communicating. Naturally being the non-confrontational woman that I am (sometimes to a fault), I stopped reaching out. I assumed all sorts of annoying reasons like: he made up with his ex, he wasn't attracted to me, I opened up too much, etc. But instead of confirming any of these things, I simply unfollowed him online, deleted his text thread and moved on. Looking back I feel embarrassed at my reaction; it was pretty childish.
Why did I assume I was at fault? Why didn't I feel comfortable enough to have a conversation? Recently, curiosity and free time got the best of me (blame Quarantine), and I asked.
To my surprise, I learned that around the time we were dating, he had lost his job and became very withdrawn from life. We ended up discussing a few of the hardships he endured and how we really enjoyed each other's company. "I've come to realize I don't do well dating when my life isn't in order," he said. That made sense. Actually, it made perfect sense. But it made me wonder how many times my girlfriends and I had gotten it wrong. Sometimes we assume the best or worst, when really we just need the truth.
So I decided to ask five guys to give me honest feedback on ghosting. Why they do it, and was it the woman's fault. And whew chile, the responses. Check out some of the stories below.
Compatibility
"I ghosted this girl once simply because she wasn't the kind of girl I was genuinely interested in. I could tell from the initial conversation we had. There was a vibe there for sure, but we were simply in two different places in life, and looking for different things. She wanted the house, kids, and a dog. And I just wasn't there yet. Unfortunately I wasn't as embracing of transparent communication then as I am now. So, instead of telling her how I felt, I just stopped talking to her. I'm not proud of it but it happened." - Sharod Virtuoso, 31
Possession
"I met a woman at a networking event and we discussed working together. I quickly realized that she was interested in me outside of work. We went to a park, fed ducks, meditated and had a nice time. But our communication was staggered afterwards and we didn't see each other for a while following the park. Weeks later, we ended up going to a Hawks game. I know people who work at the stadium so I greeted a few people, making sure to introduce her. A friend and his girlfriend even met us there. However, she was irritated most of the night and felt as if my attention was too divided. She left upset and didn't seem to enjoy herself. I called the next day to try and talk it out but she was adamant about my time being hers. I thought this was a bit extreme for us to just be building a friendship. So, I deleted her number and never spoke to her again." - Malachy Waco, 29
Finances
"I have ghosted a couple times but mostly for the same reason. I was taught 'do not introduce a woman to a lifestyle you can't sustain.' After taking a break from the dating scene, I was eager to get back out there not realizing I needed to take time to get my financial life in order. I went on a few dates but once wants and expectations were brought up, I knew in my heart I couldn't provide the services the particular ladies were requesting and had to bow out. It was nothing personal, just easier to nip it in the bud." - Carson Byrd, 31
Weird Sexual Encounter
"I met a woman online from a dating site. I was laying in her bed while she freshened up, and I remember thinking something smelled strange. I assumed maybe her child peed the bed and the smell was just lingering. Once she came out of the bathroom, everything was cool, things started getting hot and heavy. I'm doing things to her; she's doing things to herself, it was fine. Then she stops and says, 'You wanna see something cool? I can make myself squirt.' She starts playing with herself and boom, she 'squirts'. I wiped myself off and caught a whiff, and realized she peed on me. Needless to say that's not the same thing as squirting. I left and we never spoke again." - Geraud, 33
Opportunist
"There was this woman in Houston that I met at an event. She was gorgeous and the conversation, vibe, and connection were on point! Then, she started asking about how I could big up her business on one of my radio shows. I explained to her how although I was a radio host, there is protocol to mentioning, or shouting out, a business on my show(s). After a week, or two, of getting to know each other, one night she tried to seduce me, hoping that I would make an exception for her. I explained how I could lose my job if I did that and got caught. She still didn't get it and continued to try to get me to give her free publicity on the radio. I was turned off and abruptly stopped communication. I ran into her at another event and she asked why I stopped talking to her. I told her that pressuring me to engage in payola for her business, with no regard to my job or feelings, turned me all the way off, and I realized that she was for herself. I then saw someone I wanted to speak to, wished her well, and went on about my evening." -KG, 41
Featured image by Shutterstock
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Teyana Taylor & Aaron Pierre Might Be The Internet’s New Favorite Pairing
Is it just us, or are Teyana Taylor and Aaron Pierre making it harder and harder to believe that they’re not a thing?
The two have been serving soft launch vibes for months, but their most recent Instagram interaction has folks raising their eyebrows and their glasses.
Just this week on Sunday, April 13, Aaron shared a shirtless selfie to his IG Stories, a classic thirst trap moment, complete with abs on display, and emitting just enough heat to get the timeline talking. Not long after, Teyana hopped on her own IG Stories with a three-word message that had the internet abuzz: “on di wey 😮💨.”
Aaron Pierre/Instagram via people.com
Now, maybe it was just a coincidence... but let’s be honest, it didn’t feel like one.
Especially considering Aaron’s West Indian roots and Teyana’s long-documented admiration for tall men she can climb like a tree (her ex-husband Iman Shumpert is 6'5" and Aaron's not far behind at 6'4"). That “on di wey” hit like a flirty green light. And fans caught it, quick.
Teyana Taylor/Instagram via people.com
This isn’t the first time these two have had us side-eyeing and doing double-takes to their timelines.
On March 3, Teyana posted a striking set of black-and-white photos on Instagram alongside Aaron. The two stood back-to-back, dressed to the nines and giving high-fashion, high-intensity energy. Her caption? “Oscar night in black & white, no grey area. 🤍”
Aaron posted the same photos, except his was without a caption, just vibes.
They also shared a table at the American Black Film Festival Honors back in February (where Teyana was also spotted holding his award that he won that night) and were spotted at the Vanity Fair Oscar party looking entirely comfortable in each other’s space. While they haven’t officially confirmed anything, the visuals have done most of the talking.
(L to R) Aaron Pierre, Teyana Taylor, Niecy Nash and Jessica Betts attend the 2025 Vanity Fair Oscar Party
Dave Benett/VF25/WireImage for Vanity Fair
And if you're wondering whether Teyana fits Aaron’s type? First, how could she not be? But second, according to a 2024 interview on Buzzfeed’s Seasoned podcast, the Mufasa: The Lion King star had a thing for women like Ashanti and Foxy Brown growing up. "My first childhood crush was Ashanti, and my second childhood crush was Foxy Brown," he shared at the time, sending social media into a frenzy.
Black women who exude sex appeal, confidence, and boss energy, aka, everything Teyana walks with daily. She’s the moment, the mood, and apparently… the mirror selfie responder...
Since finalizing her divorce from Iman in June 2024, Teyana has been booked, unbothered, and flourishing on her own terms. Between starring in a Dionne Warwick biopic and starring in One Battle After Another, a star-studded film led by Leonardo DiCaprio and helmed by director Paul Thomas Anderson, sis is locked in.
Aaron, meanwhile, is fresh off voicing the title role in Mufasa: The Lion King and gearing up to appear in Lanterns, an upcoming Max DC series, as well as the new season of The Morning Show. Lowkey highkey, they’re both in their leading-role eras, on-screen and maybe, just maybe, in each other’s lives.
Or maybe it’s just vibes. Maybe it’s more. But from the flirty exchanges to the red carpet proximity, this pairing feels like the kind of slow burn romance that soft launches are made of.
And if it is what it looks like? We love this for her.
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Featured image by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for Vanity Fair