

It’s Okay To Be Intentional About Finding Love
"Don't go looking for love."
"Love will find you."
I'm pretty sure we've all been told some variation of this before. I'm an Aquarius so it probably comes as no surprise that I don't subscribe to this school of thought. Personally, I think it is okay to be intentional about finding love in a way that is comfortable to you.
It seems we are intentional about everything else in our lives except love. We want a new job, we search for one. We want to further our education, we apply to schools. We want to lose weight and get in shape, we go to the gym and become conscious of what we eat. But when it comes to love, we're supposed to do nothing, wait for it to fall in our laps, and hope for the best.
People have even become embarrassed to admit that they even desire love for fear of sounding desperate. We pretend we are perfectly okay with being by ourselves when the reality is that a lot of us really aren't. Now when I say be intentional about finding love, I don't mean forcing love. Being intentional and open to receiving love are okay and we shouldn't feel bad about it either.
Get into some ways you can be more intentional about finding love:
Heal Thyself
Shutterstock
While I think that we are constantly growing, evolving, and healing, there is a certain level of work that must be done to be able to give and receive love. I met my current boyfriend more than two years ago, but neither of us were in a place to give or receive love so it didn't work. Fast-forward two years later: We reconnected. We both had done the work on ourselves separately. We took time to heal and now things are amazing between us. When I refer to "the work", I mean take time to heal from past traumas, really get to know you, your likes, dislikes, and fall in love with yourself. You can't expect someone else to love you if you don't even love yourself.
Check Your Energy
I've been told in the past by friends and family that my energy and vibe are off for someone that says they are looking for love, but it kind of went in one ear and out the other. However, last year I participated in the 7-Day xoNecole Happy Hour Challenge and it was through this challenge that I realized everyone was right.
Instead of walking around avoiding eye contact, listening to music, and looking at my phone, I accepted the challenge and made eye contact. I spoke to every one of the opposite sex for 7 days. While no love connection was made while participating in the challenge, there were lots of compliments, smiles, and great conversation---a far departure from before.
Put Yourself Out There
Shutterstock
After saying I would never in life try online dating, I gave it a try a couple of years ago. I learned that it wasn't for me, but I never would have known that if I didn't at least try. There are plenty of people who have met the love of their life online. So if you haven't had any luck out in these streets, try online dating for 30 days and see what happens.
If you absolutely know that online dating is not your style, maybe shooting your shot is. It's 2020 and ladies are not shy about jumping in DMs and making the first move when it comes to pursuing love. If after reading that you just thought "Nah, sis," you are not alone. Personally, I was never comfortable with shooting my shot either (I'm awkward). In my single days, I had more assists than actual shots. If I saw a guy that I was interested in, I would compliment him on his shoes or his jacket, and then see what happened from there. Try it.
Get Out Of The House
My mom once asked me if I thought my husband was just going to show up at my front door. She definitely tried it, but she was right. I used to spend most of my time in my apartment.
There was a point when I literally just left my house to go to and from work, to pick up takeout, and to go to Target. After being read by my mom, I made a conscious effort to actually leave my house at least a few times a week. So, whether it was eating in a restaurant instead of getting takeout, attending events, going out with my girls, going to the gym, or going for a walk, I made a point to be in these streets. While this might prove to be a little difficult due to the current state of things, this is definitely a tip to stick a pin in for once we're ready and able to resume our regularly scheduled programming.
Practice Manifestation
Shutterstock
Quit saying you'll never find someone and start saying that you will. Start believing it is possible and that it will happen for you, and then watch it manifest. The reason you're reading this article is because I literally manifested that I would write for xoNecole. So, if it can happen with my writing, it can happen for the love you want, too.
So whether someone met the love of their life in the gym, online, at the grocery store, or in the Uber Pool, there was likely some intentionality that went along with it. If love is what you want, be intentional about it, and don't stop until you find it.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured Image by Shutterstock
- 7 Daily Rituals Intentional Couples Use to Cultivate Lasting Love ›
- 7 habits of intentional people | Caring Magazine ›
- A Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love | Psychology Today ›
- How to be Intentional in Your Relationship - P.S. I Love You ›
- Intentional Love: 7 Steps You Can Take Now To Manifest Your ... ›
- Self-Love, be Intentional | Caitlyn Roux | TEDxYouth@CapeTown ... ›
- Be intentional in all you do! | Live • Love • Work ›
Erica Green is a Clinical Research Associate, blogger, and a sneakerhead. She has a love for all things women and she's pretty sure that women are God's greatest creation. Connect with her on Instagram @ erica_britt_ or www.lovethegspot.com
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
The Libra woman and Aries man are the divine feminine and divine masculine, coming together as one. The love compatibility between these two is one for the books. These two are opposite signs, however, their differences tend to complement each other well. This is a dynamic relationship where they know how to have a lot of fun together, but also aren’t afraid to deal with the more serious stuff that comes with a relationship.
The Libra woman is looking for her equal in love, someone who is willing to put in the same effort she is, and the Aries man sees Libra as someone he is willing to do that with.
The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
What attracts a Libra woman and an Aries man to each other?
There is a magnet of attraction pulling these two together, and things tend to move pretty fast in this relationship. The Libra woman is always open to love and her charming nature rarely has any challenges here. The Aries man fights for his independence and doesn’t sacrifice that unless he is completely enamored with someone.
Once the Aries man catches the eye of the Libra woman, he is typically the one to make the first move and this instantly wins the approval of Libra.
These two feel like they have known each other forever when they meet, and this spark between them doesn’t die down easily.
Hero Images Inc/Getty Images
What is the relationship like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The relationship between the Libra woman and the Aries man is one of balance and excitement. The Aries man tends to take on the more dominant role in this relationship and the Libra woman tends to be the more receptive one. Aries is ruled by masculine Mars, and Libra is ruled by feminine Venus. They understand they are coming from two completely different worlds, yet they also instinctively feel this underlying connection to each other and like they could be something each other needs in their lives.
The Libra woman can rely on the Aries man, and the Aries man never has to ask for the love that Libra already knows he needs.
This is a couple that is often reading each other’s minds and wanting to do a lot of the same things. However, not everything is rainbow in this relationship as well, and there are some major differences they have to overcome to make things work. One argument can lead to an explosion between these two, and addressing things when they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug, will be needed to make this relationship long-term.
What is the sex like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The sex between a Libra woman and an Aries man is adventurous. These are two cardinal signs with plenty of energy and stamina to keep things exciting in the bedroom. There tends to be a good give and take in this relationship, and their yin and yang energy benefits them when it comes to their sex life.
There is electricity felt between the two of them in this area of their life, and their power of attraction to each other is strong. These are two people who will want to do a lot of things together, including exploring sexually together.
The Aries man will have to be careful with being overly aggressive, however, as the soft Libra woman may not like this energy- it will completely depend on the two individuals at hand. The Libra woman wants to ease into things, the Aries man wants to get going right away. Learning about each other's bodies, and energy, and reading each other’s cues will help with this.
Petri Oeschger/Getty Images
What makes a relationship between a Libra woman and an Aries man work?
These two genuinely like each other, and that basis is a key factor for success in any relationship. The Aries man is straight to the point, direct, and inspired. The Libra woman admires these characteristics in others, as she is often herself finding her balance in this type of energy as well. Neither sign is overly emotional in a way that turns them off, and they both require a lot of the same things in a committed relationship. They want honesty, fun, good communication, passion, and to be moving towards a common goal together.
The Libra woman and Aries man don’t have a problem being real with each other and this is something they really value within the relationship. They are both very charming, and there is plenty of flirtation and attraction to keep this relationship going. Aries being the protector they are, Libra finds a sense of safety and ease in this energy, and like they have found their match. Overall, this is a well-balanced relationship and one where they don’t have a problem when it comes to compatibility or chemistry in the relationship.
What may cause a Libra woman and an Aries man to break up?
Libra is the lover, Aries is the fighter, and this energy may be tiring for the both of them after time. The Libra woman can be passive to a fault, and the Aries man who is not evolved, may take advantage of that. She will need to be careful with putting Aries’ needs above her own, creating resentment later down the road. The Aries man loves a challenge, and the Libra woman would be up for that game for a little bit, but if she is not being met in the middle, she will begin to look for other places. These two can have a difficult time keeping the peace in the relationship, and there could be a lot of arguments and disagreements here if they both aren’t willing to put their egos or self-pleasing attitudes to the side.
The Libra woman and Aries man are both more sensitive than they appear or come off as. They are also not necessarily the type to dive deep into their emotions and express them to others, even in their relationships. However, this energy can keep the relationship to a surface level than what is needed to progress and grow the relationship, and a sense of openness is required for this couple to work. Libra needs romance, she wants to be wowed. Aries needs to remember this and to always consider her love language.
Summary
Overall, this is a successful pairing. They will have their fair share of challenges in the relationship, but nothing they can’t overcome if they are willing to. The trouble will come in when it comes to the longevity of the relationship, keeping Aries excited and Libra in love. However, all in all, there is more power, attraction, and love to keep this relationship together rather than apart. No relationship is perfect, but this one is a little more blessed than most.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Weekend Images Inc./Getty Images