

Imagine walking out of the doctor's office with a prescription that says, "Pamper yourself one time a week."
I bet you would be just as puzzled if a script was handed to you with directions to love yourself because there are a lot of sources instructing you to do so but few and far in-between telling you exactly how.
Pampering is just as subjective to an individual as self-love, meaning that there really is no one-size-fits-all way to do so, and there is a little work involved to find the best ways for you. For example, a person that usually takes a DIY approach to their hair and makeup may find it pampering to splurge on a salon experience, whereas others find it to be a routine.
The definition of "pampering," however, is "to indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil." With that in mind, hold on tight sis, we are about to turn your birthday into a lifestyle!
Step One: Prepare For Your Self-Care Day No Later Than The Night Before
What good is a day out at the spa sipping mimosas and living your best life with a messy house and a sink full of dishes? Now don't get me wrong, the whole adulting thing is a tough reality that none of us signed up for in the first place, but a major key of any successful routine is discipline.
Set an hour or two aside to get your living space fit for a queen so that you can wake up (a little later than usual) to a beautiful and clean abode. With all of the household chores out of the way, not only will you have a great self-care Saturday, but a great weekend.
Step Two: Think Deep Thoughts About Parts Of Yourself That Need A Lot More Attention And Plan Accordingly
Your self-care day is a lot like planning your friend's birthday, except you are putting all of that attention on you, which can feel a bit odd if you aren't used to loving on yourself.
Taking a brief inventory of your true emotions each day can point you in the best direction. Feeling anxious and overwhelmed during the week? It's time to bust out Groupon to find a deal on a massage. Feeling scattered and overwhelmed at the end of your week? Perhaps putting the 'do not disturb' sign on life by data fasting and having a staycation at home filled with wine and ice cream will do the trick.
Honey, whatever floats your boat is what you really need to be aware of because the day is yours. The great thing about journaling a few of your emotions and planning your pampering accordingly is, you learn to care for yourself as if you are your best friend. After seeing a repetition of a negative emotion, you will instinctively know "Hmm girl.. It looks like you need a spa day."
Step Three: Create An Accountability System For Your Pampering
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I grew up watching way too many Disney movies, but even as an adult I often find myself still enamored by the concept of The Enchanted Rose. To make an extremely long story short, the rose would wilt to its demise causing the human prince to remain in a beast's body unless he learned how to love another person. It seems like there are so many levels to life that are off-limits until you start loving yourself, yet in the hustle and bustle of life, we forget how important it is to schedule the time to do so.
The antidote to this is commencing your pampering routine with a bouquet of flowers of your own. It's something about fresh flowers that brings out the bougie in all of us, and metaphorically those beautiful flowers represent you. If you love being dramatic, you could pretend that the death of those flowers means the death of your best life, or you could use the flowers as a reminder: "Water is running low, it's time to give them some TLC and take inventory of my feelings," or, "My flowers are dying, it's time to get some fresh ones"... *ding ding ding* you just pampered yourself.
You only get one you, and you deserve all of the love that you try your best to give everyone else. The thing about self-love and self-care is it's hard as f*ck at first, but you will never regret doing the work.
You won't run into anyone who says, "I regret being active, eating right, going to therapy, and treating myself kindly," so why not turn those activities into a lifestyle? You owe it to yourself to be exactly who you need.
Featured image by Getty Images.
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New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Tracee Ellis Ross Is Still Living A 'Robust' Life Despite Sometimes Grieving Not Being Partnered
Tracee Ellis Ross sat down with former first lady Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson for their IMO podcast to have a candid discussion about dating, marriage, and family. At 52, the beloved actress is single, but is still open to finding her person. However, she realizes that she has to navigate dating differently, describing herself as a "unicorn."
“I’m a very unique sort of unicorn of a woman, so it's gonna take a unique person,” she explained. "And in the meantime, I've really learned how to live my life and enjoy it and not sit around waiting."
Calling herself a "choiceful woman," she has had to push against culture norms and found that many of her experiences with men around her age were challenging due to the toxic masculinity they had been raised in. Many of their views about relationships conflicts with how she lives her life, so she tends to date younger.
“It's not just that I'm older. I’m also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and who lives a very full, just robust life," she said.
Regardless if they're younger or older, Tracee has made it clear that she isn't settling and won't be in a relationship for the sake of having a partner. Even when loneliness creeps.
“As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner. At all, I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better, it can’t just be ‘I’m in a relationship just to be in a relationship,” she said.
Fans have watched pieces of Tracee's life played out on social media and TV. Just one look at her Instagram, you see that the black-ish star lives her life to fullest and it's filled with fashion, family, and all-round fabulousness.
"Even though the grief does emerge, and that comes, and I hold that, I think of what I’ve done. I think I woke up every morning trying to do my best. I didn’t wake up one morning and be like I’m gonna mess this day up. So I must be where I’m supposed to be.”
She added, “And sometimes I think of all of the things I’ve done—the courage that I’ve had to have, what I had to learn to how to navigate as a single person with no one to hide behind. It's built a really beautiful experience around me and I have incredible friends."
The Black Mirror actress has spoken about dating before and has always stated that she doesn't allow singleness stop her from living her best life.
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