

These Are The Morning Routines That Keep Our xoNecole Editors Going
We always hear about how morning routines are important to not only start your day off on the right foot but sustain success. Many of the powerful women we all admire, from Oprah to Beyoncé to Range Beauty CEO Alicia Scott, have routines in which they are deliberate about how they spend the first few hours of their day.
Well, we, the editors at xoNecole, also have special routines and rituals that keep us going, especially after spending days interviewing amazing women, editing, publishing loads of articles, engaging with the xoTribe on social, and providing you with that daily content boost you need to stay inspired and empowered. Check out how we spend our mornings (for the most part):
Sheriden Chanel, Managing Editor
Courtesy of Sheriden Chanel
Honoring The Flow: "I try to give myself grace that every morning doesn't have to look the same way in order for me to feel well or like I have some semblance of a routine to keep me anchored in how I flow through my day. Some days, the first thing I do looks like gratitude journaling. Other days, the first thing I do looks like splashing my face with water immediately after waking and doing an abbreviated version of my skincare routine."
Getting The Energy Going: "I love walking in my neighborhood and listening to a podcast as a way to hit the reset button on my creativity. Outside is medicine, so I love that, by default, that's always an element of my morning. During that time, I am either listening to my favorite sacral chakra playlist, one of my favorite podcasts like Balanced Black Girl or Morning Microdose, or even just silence to really bond with my dog, Brownie."
Must-Have Breakfast: "My favorite breakfast is a protein smoothie, especially mornings when I do some strength training or workout. I have become a Smoothie Queen, you hear me! There are so many different ways to make them that it always feels varied enough, filling, and delicious."
London A. Whitson, Contributing Editor
Courtesy of London A. Whitson
First Thing In The Morning: "This year, I made it my mission to create a morning routine and stick to it. When I wake up, before I do anything, I meditate, and then I read a few scriptures from the Bible. Meditating helps me start my day off on a positive note."
Putting Herself First: "What gets my energy flowing in the morning is working out. I try to work out 3-4 times a week and prefer to do it in the morning. I like to alternate my workouts, so I will do cardio like walking around my neighborhood, or I'll do strength training or Pilates. Also, I recently joined a boxing gym, and so I like to go there on the weekends."
Favorite Breakfast: "Oatmeal because it's easy and healthy. Sometimes I may also cook turkey bacon or eat fruit with it. However, if I'm beginning my day with exercise, I try to eat protein first, like almond butter, and after my workout, I will eat breakfast."
Janell Hazelwood, Associate Editor
Courtesy of Janell Hazelwood
As Soon As I Wake: "I always give myself at least 30 minutes for silence. No emails. No social media. No group texts. No cleaning up or checking on work from the night before. No workouts. No TV. Just me, my coffee or tea, quiet prayer, and my thoughts. It's helped me overcome burnout and deliberately practice focus on God and self."
Music Is Medicinal: "The first thing I do before editing, writing, or opening emails for the day is put on my favorite music mixes. It helps me concentrate, and it gets my creative juices flowing. It's also a way to keep the vibes upbeat and positive wherever I'm working. I often travel, so my work environment vibes shift on the regular.
"I'm big on energy, and sometimes virtual correspondences and digital nomad life, in general, can be impersonal, isolating, and disconnected. Music helps fill the gaps. I've created Work playlists on YouTube, Amazon Music, and Spotify featuring an eclectic mix of artists, including Frankie Beverly & Maze, Chronixx, Moonchild, Hector Lavoe, Minnie Riperton, Timaya, and DJ Zinhle."
Favorite Breakfast: "Since I'm not a huge fan of eating Breakfast during the week, I'll have something light, quick, and easy to make, like a green smoothie (with kale, protein powder, ginger, and cucumber) or an open sandwich of one fried egg, a piece of wheat toast and pepper sauce. A big breakfast in the morning slows me down, and I can't really think, write or edit when I feel heavy."
Ambar Mejia, Social Media Manager
Courtesy of Ambar Mejia
Putting Wellness First: "I make myself a nutritious breakfast while I listen to a podcast or audiobook. Right now, I'm rotating between a Portuguese podcast about culture and history (I'm learning Portuguese) and the book Atomic Habits. 10/10 would recommend the book. It's already been a game-changer!"
Jamming Out: "To get the creative juices flowing, I like to have [a] solo dance party with my favorite jams. It's also really important for me to take 5 to 10 minutes a day to write down all my most important to-dos. I was really struggling with anxiety at the end of 2022, and this small habit has helped my productivity and anxiety a lot."
Breakfast Deets: "Scrambled eggs, oatmeal, and fruit with a coffee or matcha latte. I have a really busy schedule, so I need to make sure I have something filling and nutritious to keep myself going throughout the day."
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
Welcome to Black Girl Whole, your space to find the wellness routine that aligns with you! This brand-new marketplace by xoNecole is a safe space for Black women to activate their healing, find the inspiration to rest, and receive reassurance that we are one small act away from finding our happiness.
Want to discover where you are on your wellness journey? You don't have to look far. In partnership with European Wax Center, we're bringing you a customized wellness quiz to help you up your wellness game. Answer our short series of questions to figure out which type of wellness lover you are, what you need to bring more balance into your life, and then go deeper by shopping products geared towards clearing your mind, healing your body, and soothing your spirit.
Ready to get whole? Take our quiz now!
From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images