Slow Mornings Are More Than A Trend, Here’s Why You Should Add Them To Your Routine
Living in a world where we’re over-consuming and over-producing information and content, it can feel like some trending topics are complete fads. While that may be true, some of these ideas are helpful and can greatly impact our lives, one being slow mornings. Slow mornings can look different to everyone, but the general idea is to counter the fast-paced lifestyle and create more time for ourselves, lessen anxiety, and prioritize self-care.
I’m a huge advocate for adopting this type of wellness practice into your morning routine. It has completely changed the game for me. Prior to adopting this routine, I’d wake up with just enough time to get ready and go. I never prioritized time to sit and eat, dance a little as I get ready, or any type of wiggle room for the unexpected (I’m sure you can imagine the anxiety that builds when something out of the norm happens). Most times I felt flustered and disorganized, which started to affect my mood, productivity, and my mindset. I knew I needed to make some changes.
I started to incorporate more mood-boosting activities and became realistic about how much time I actually needed to get my day started. If I’m being honest, my slow mornings rely heavily on time management. I try my best to at least get seven hours of sleep and set my alarm early enough to get ready for work at a smooth and intentional pace without interrupting my rest. My work days typically start with music, my favorite podcast or meditation as I get ready, a cup of decaffeinated tea instead of coffee, setting intentions and affirmations, then prayer before my drive to work.
I always get to work early with enough time to sit and eat, review work materials, prep, and brief my colleagues. Slow mornings allow me to gain more without losing anything.
If this hasn’t already inspired you to switch things up, here are six more reasons you should incorporate a slow morning routine.
Slow Mornings Can Work for Everyone
Slow mornings rely mostly on being intentional with what you choose to prioritize and moving at a pace that doesn’t feel rushed. It’s less about the strict routine of waking up at 5 a.m. every day, as that is not realistic for everyone. I have a very flexible schedule so every day looks different and no day starts at the same time. Typically, I think about how much time I have in the morning and prioritize my mornings around that. One thing I do regardless of the time is play something motivational, express gratitude, pray, and say my affirmations. It’s small acts that make a big difference. However, if I start my day a little later, I can do more with my morning like journaling and working out.
Slow mornings allow you flexibility and take the pressure of feeling like you have to do so much with the time you have, to me that defeats the purpose. It’s more about making sure you pour time into yourself without pressure or feeling rushed.
Slow Mornings Reduce Stress and Anxiety
As I mentioned, slow mornings take the chaos, anxiousness, and stress out of planning and getting ready for your day. Slow mornings cause you to start your day in a relaxed and calm way by prioritizing the thing that makes you feel good. Taking the time to physically, mentally, and/or emotionally prepare yourself leaves you better equipped to take on the day.
Slow Mornings Create Time to Pour Into You
I’ve stopped putting myself last. I’ve given up the notion that everything and everyone has to be catered to before I’m able to do that for myself. I remind myself that I can’t give what I don’t have and if I‘m not at my best, I can’t give my best. While I know this, I also needed my actions to reflect it.
Implementing slow morning routines creates the space for you to pour into yourself, fuel yourself, and be more intentional. It makes you examine what your needs are and what focusing on your well-being can do.
Slow Mornings Reduce the Risk of Burnout
Slowing your mornings down will also inspire you to slow down in general. The notion of being busy and glorifying a never-ending workday will seem less appealing. Once you realize the power of being intentional, you’ll adopt this routine in all aspects of your life. This will help reduce your chances of burning out because you have better workload management, a clear mental space, and awareness of when you’re doing too much.
In general, I think we are all overstimulated by our influences and technology, but eventually, the feeling of constant rush and over-exertion will start to fade.
Slow Mornings Increase Productivity
If you take your time to wake up and implement healthy habits, you’ll feel more energized and creative. As I mentioned before, slow mornings allow us to get better at managing time. It helps us focus on what’s in front of us which increases productivity. I used to measure my productivity by how much I can get done, which is a race in itself. Instead, I focus on the quality and intention behind it.
Slow mornings allow you to spend time giving things the time and effort it needs, without falling behind.
It Boosts Your Confidence
If you take the time to affirm yourself in the mornings and do activities that make you feel good, then you’ll do good.
Creating a morning routine that prioritizes time management, peace, and intentional living will make you feel a greater sense of accomplishment and success. It increases our faith and belief in ourselves to do things and do them well.
Slow mornings won’t look the same for everyone, but creating time to prioritize yourself and live more intentionally may be the subtle change you need to improve your well-being. It’s okay to slow things down and get off autopilot. Do what’s best for you and know that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
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Freelance writer, content creator, and traveler. She enjoys the beauty of simplicity, a peaceful life, and a big curly fro. Connect with Krissy on social media @iamkrissylewis or check out her blog at www.krissylewis.com.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
