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Does Your Morning Routine Need A Refresher? Here’s How To Make The Most Of Your Morning.
My new year's resolutions started late last year. In an effort to ease into 2023, I decided back in November that I would start making small adjustments to my everyday habits that would lay the foundation for the year ahead. So in order to form better habits, I knew that the biggest changes had to first take place with my morning routine.
After experiencing a huge dip in my productivity and lifestyle a few months back, getting up in the morning became an uphill battle. I would spend my first waking moments on social media apps doom scrolling, losing track of time, only to end up in a poor mood when it came time to start my day. I knew that this type of habit wasn’t sustainable if I wanted to see real, positive change in my life; so bit by bit, I began to make adjustments.
Instead of reaching straight for my phone every morning, I would pray, journal, or start drafting my to-do list. While every morning wasn’t perfect, it was the start of a system that illuminated a vital principle: if I wanted to see a big change in my life, I had to start with small, daily shifts.
Our mornings set the tone for the day ahead and how we approach our day, eventually impacts our lifestyle. And as life moves in cycles, things can become stagnant. We have times when we aren’t as motivated or inspired to live at our highest potential, which calls for a fresh start and approach to our morning routine.
To help us get clear on how to make the most of our mornings, we tapped Licensed Clinical Psychologist and founder of Center for Inclusive Therapy + Wellness, Dr. Janelle S. Peifer for where to start.
If you feel the desire to establish a new, steady routine for yourself, you can feel relieved to know that it’s an inherent human need. According to Dr. Peifer, humans are naturally wired to thrive and rely on routine to shape our psychological, emotional, and physical health.
“Having a predictable routine helps us translate conscious efforts into habits that we can build from,” Dr. Peifer tells xoNecole. “A morning routine can enable us to set the tone for the day, centering our well-being and values before the onslaught of external demands grabs our attention and energy.”
“A morning routine can enable us to set the tone for the day, centering our well-being and values before the onslaught of external demands grabs our attention and energy.”
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As Dr. Peifer explains, forming a morning routine is especially important for those who may experience depressive episodes or mood disorders. Now that we’re on the tail end of the months when seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is most common, Dr. Peifer shares that there are a plethora of ways to get back into your groove and find your morning rhythm again.
“Using affirmations, journaling, and ending your day with a gratitude practice, can be helpful,” she says. “Moreover, creating routines that get you moving, out of the home, doing self-care behaviors (like hygiene), and connecting with others… can also help us connect into social support that is so essential to our mental health.”
She also says that having a practice to address the barriers that are maintaining your depressive symptoms can be helpful in regaining a sense of agency over your life, as opposed to despair and hopelessness. “Of course, all of these steps require that you are well-supported. It isn't just a matter of willpower,” says Dr. Peifer. “Engaging in therapy, a support group, speaking to a spiritual leader in your community, taking medication, or engaging in a holistic health practice can give you the boost you need to get into a groove, enact, and sustain a routine that can help maintain your wellness.”
And while some people can "fake it until they make it” in their daily routines, Dr. Peifer adds that others may need additional support and resources in order to build and maintain their wellness routines.
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Whether that be having an accountability partner, a wellness group chat, or frequent check-ins with your therapist, it’s important to listen to your needs and limit the distraction of outside influences—whether online or your inner critic—to establish a routine that works best for you.
“It can be tempting to see others' routines, especially on social media, and feel like you have to follow a specific, narrow pathway to be doing it ‘right,’” she says. “In reality, various factors will shape what routine will work well for and be sustainable within your life. When are you most awake and aware? What is your family and work situation?” she adds. “While 5 a.m. may be perfect ‘you’ time, it may not be — and that's okay! You can be in the 9 a.m. club and crush it!”
When it comes to finding the routine that truly maximizes your morning, Dr. Peifer shows us where to start:
Set your phone down.
“If you notice an urge to pull up your email, check socials, or text your boo right when you wake up, consider pausing. Take a moment--even just 5 deep circular breaths to ground yourself in your body with awareness before diving into the noise and busyness of the day.”
Start with gratitude.
“Research suggests that a gratitude practice can improve mental health and self-esteem. Beginning your day with an expression of gratitude that feels real and authentic to you can be helpful.”
Take care of your body and spirit.
“Taking a moment to do a restorative, self-care practice, be that mindfully brushing your teeth, a luxurious skincare routine, or a slow shower with music can bring you into your body and into the moment.”
Do a reflective practice.
“A practice of journaling, voice recording, creating a video, or a brisk walk around the neighborhood can help you reflect on what you need most and what you hope your day will entail. Find a reflective practice that works for you and give yourself grace on practicing it.”
In all, Dr. Peifer recommends that when it comes to the early days of refining your morning routine, always give yourself grace and practice patience with yourself—because this too, is a journey.
“Any routine requires grace and flexibility. Practicing compassionate self-talk is a great resource as you're building new skills and habits,” Dr. Peifer says. “To stay on track, recognize that behavior change is typically nonlinear and loops through periods of relapse and growth. That doesn't mean you're doing it wrong! That's just how human behavior change happens and with grace and self-compassion, you're much more likely to stay with the process rather than try to escape feeling inadequate and like a failure.”
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Featured image by Stephanie Foden/Getty Images
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."