There's nothing I detest more than an inconsiderate person, and although I see myself as someone who considers the feelings of everyone (and they mama) before making any decision, there's one person that I've neglected grossly. I'm that person. That person is me.
My love is like water, abundant and overflowing, but when I forgot to love myself, that well ran dry and chronic half-assness ensued. I invested in half-assed business deals, I had sex with half-ass romantic partners, and most importantly, I half-assed myself when it came to my spiritual, mental, and physical health.
When there was no one left to blame for my deficit of joy, energy, and passion, I realized that maybe, the culprit of my unhappiness wasn't my man, my job, or my circumstances. That culprit was me. I am that person. Jada Pinkett Smith recently took to Instagram to reveal that she is on a similar journey to wholeness and admitted that initially, what she found on that road wasn't pretty:
"So I'm going through a process of self-evaluation and recognizing places in which I've been deeply unkind and unloving and having to really see, not only how I've been that way with others, but how I've been that way with myself."
How you treat the people around you is often a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. In my experience, someone who is unkind to others is usually not very kind to themselves, so if you've had an attitude with the people around you lately, this one's for you, sis: what you focus on will expand, and some of us are so focused on the storms in life that we forget to notice when a rainbow is right in front of us.
A truly mature woman understands that we get all down on ourselves sometimes; but please understand that no self-slander will be tolerated here. Jada said that when it comes to negative self-talk, we have to check ourselves before we mentally wreck ourselves:
"[I've been] recognizing that self-love is about changing [that] harsh messaging within my mind, and the tone in which I speak to myself."
When you recognize that your energy is a treasure that should be protected at all costs, you move different. Jada said that this logic also applies when it comes to choosing her inner circle:
"And also realizing what I let in my life and who I allow in my life is a representation of self-love. This process has been very revealing in my process of eliminating unkindness and finding deeper ways to love. So, self-love, changing that messaging in my mind to more kind and gentle words; how I speak to myself. And being very careful about who I let in my life and what I let in my life."
Pastor Pinkett just slid through with the word we needed on this beautiful Monday afternoon, and that word is: self-love. That's it. That's the whole paragraph. It may seem like the world is on your shoulders and that you'll never have enough time, money, or resources to reach your goals, but quite frankly my dear, that's bullsh*t. Think enough of yourself to know you got it girl, you got it.
If you can change how you talk to yourself, you can change the world.
Featured image by Instagram/@JadaPinkettSmith.
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At the top of 2022, I started diving deeper into human design and used it to harness my energy, avoid burnout, and attract aligned opportunities to my life. And, honestly, it has been life-changing! So let’s get into it!
While other self-discovery tools may help us understand how we are, human design can help us understand our core energy power and how we can optimize it to be who we are meant to be. The practice combines aspects of Astrology, numerology, Kabbalah, chakras, and I Ching to create a blueprint unique to each individual.
At its core, human design is based on the understanding that individuals are composed of nine energy centers or chakras, which are all interconnected. These centers influence various aspects of our lives, including relationships, career choices, health, and emotions. By understanding our personal energy centers, we can begin to recognize patterns within our lives that may no longer serve us and make informed decisions about changes we would like to make to create more balance and harmony. What’s not to love?
Well, while all of that sounds great, let’s get back to my main point: I really didn’t understand what any of that meant when I first looked up human design. If that’s you right now, I’ll break it down for you below.
Finding Your Human Design Type
Human design is based on five distinct energy types: Generators, Manifestors, Projectors, Reflectors, and Manifesting Generators. Each type brings a unique set of gifts and challenges, but all require a conscious approach to channeling one’s power to be successful.
You can quickly search human design calculator to find your type. All you’ll need is your date, time, and place of birth.
Now I will need you to get that time of birth precisely right because I fumbled mine by a few minutes and got a completely different type. (If you’re not sure when you were born, it’s time to call your mama!)
When you get your chart, it will say several things, but today, we will focus on each type’s strategy (how to align with your type’s unique power) and not-self theme (how you’ll know you’re not in alignment with your strategy).
The Five Human Design Types
hip hop squares intuition GIF by VH1Giphy1. Generators
We’re kicking it off with Generators because it’s likely that you are one. They make up about 70% of the planet (including manifesting generators); as the name implies, these folks have undeniable energy. They are the busy bees of the world and were made to build.
If you’re a Generator, your strategy is to respond, not to initiate! That can feel confusing because we usually hear we should go out and chase what we want. But you have a unique way you should go about it.
When looking at a human design chart, Generators will always have a defined sacral center. This gives you the capacity to generate energy for life and work. Your strategy to respond also means that you need to trust your intuition. Instead of chasing after any and everything because you can, you need to use your intuition and your endless supply of energy “to respond” to those opportunities that light you up.
Check your chart for your “authority,” which will give you deeper insight into your decision-making process.
And trust me, opportunities will come left and right because being a Generator means you have an open and enveloping aura constantly pulling life towards you.
When you ignore the above by initiating or chasing opportunities instead of responding, not checking in with your authority, and choosing opportunities that are just “okay,” you will activate your not-self theme of frustration, feeling “stuck,” and you can even end up quitting.
When a Generator lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: satisfaction.
2. Manifesting Generators
Manifesting Generators are part of that 70% of generators in the world. And much of what is true for a Generator is true for a Manifesting Generator. Similar to pure Generators, Manifesting Generators respond to life through their defined sacral center before initiating and they utilize a strategy of waiting to respond before initiating energy.
The difference between Generators and Manifesting Generators is that Manifesting Generators are designed to move from responding to initiating quickly—basically, they go in hot! For this reason, you can sometimes seem restless or impatient as your human design type is coupled with the desire to act even though there is an intrinsic need to wait.
But just like that spark can burst into a flame that will get you going on your next project, it can quickly burn out when it’s not the right project. So once again, tune in to your authority and respond to the right opportunities.
When a Manifesting Generator lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: freedom.
Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy3. Manifestors
Don’t shoot the messenger, but, Manifestors are the only ones that should be initiating. These folks make up about 9% of the world and are here to get things started! They are innovative, thriving off freedom and autonomy.
The unique Manifestor magic is in their strategy to inform. Not everyone's ready to handle a Manifestor's powerful impact. Your aura is naturally closed-off and repelling, which can be intimidating for some. Some folks may feel energetically off around a Manifestor and not even understand why. Others may perceive a Manifestor as arrogant.
But because you have a defined throat center in your chart, you are very influential when you speak. Opening up and informing other types about your big plans can relax the energy around you, allowing you to initiate in peace. While you may be tempted to move in silence, you’re not a sacral being like the Generators and may not have the energy to carry out your big plans.
Manifestors are among the types that are recommended to work less than 6 hours a day. Not only may you need to get buy-in for your plans, but not informing can set off your not-self theme anger which will only increase the resistance to your plans.
When Manifestor lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: peace.
4. Projectors
Now, remember how I told you to make sure you got the time right when calculating your type? Well, I first got a Manifestor, which is so dope, right? I’m the ONLY type that gets to initiate? Heck yes! Welp, I ended up being a Projector, and it turns out that instead of being able to initiate, my strategy was to…wait for an invitation? I was confused and lowkey disappointed, but now I get it!
To all my Projectors, we make up about 20% of the world. We are the seers and guides of society. We have an absorbing and penetrating aura that allows us to see deeply into people and things in a way that no other type can, so it’s easy for us to bring ideas to life by directing energy and helping others reach their potential. That’s why we make such fantastic leaders, guides, and advisors.
Our strategy is to wait for the invitation. While we may so easily see the inefficiencies at work or the incompatibility of our friend’s relationship, when we are not recognized and invited in to offer our two cents, we can quickly be hit with a “who asked you?” or worse, we are ignored.
Especially regarding careers, relationships, and big moves, we need to be recognized for our strengths and invited in to share more of them. That means we do not go out chasing opportunities, but instead, we work on embodying the kind of person invited to the opportunities we want and placing ourselves to be seen and recognized. Start tuning in. What are folks always telling you you’re good at, thanking you for, or telling you you should do? Those are already invitations for you from life.
This is hard because every message about success tells us to do the opposite. But what happens when you don’t do this? When you try to force things, and they inevitably don’t go as planned? We activate our not-self theme of bitterness.
But here’s the good news, when a Projector lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: success.
Serenity Now Meditation GIF by MOODMANGiphy5. Reflectors
Finally, we have the rarest of them all! Reflectors comprise just one percent of the population and are the ultimate chameleons. Reflectors have a unique ability to observe and discern their environment in profound ways, deeply understanding the people, places, and energy around them.
They don’t have defined centers, so they can both accurately reflect their observations and easily become influenced by outside energy sources. Because of this, their strategy is to wait a lunar cycle before making decisions.
Reflectors must use this innate sensitivity to carefully choose who they spend time with, investing in those who feel elevating and expansive while avoiding anything toxic or draining.
Additionally, solo time is fundamental for Reflectors so they can take the necessary breaks from absorbing others’ energies and reset.
When a reflector lives in alignment with their human design, they will experience their signature: harmony.
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Featured image by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash
Originally published on February 6, 2023