Jada Pinkett-Smith Wants You To Chill With The Negative Self-Talk
There's nothing I detest more than an inconsiderate person, and although I see myself as someone who considers the feelings of everyone (and they mama) before making any decision, there's one person that I've neglected grossly. I'm that person. That person is me.
My love is like water, abundant and overflowing, but when I forgot to love myself, that well ran dry and chronic half-assness ensued. I invested in half-assed business deals, I had sex with half-ass romantic partners, and most importantly, I half-assed myself when it came to my spiritual, mental, and physical health.
When there was no one left to blame for my deficit of joy, energy, and passion, I realized that maybe, the culprit of my unhappiness wasn't my man, my job, or my circumstances. That culprit was me. I am that person. Jada Pinkett Smith recently took to Instagram to reveal that she is on a similar journey to wholeness and admitted that initially, what she found on that road wasn't pretty:
"So I'm going through a process of self-evaluation and recognizing places in which I've been deeply unkind and unloving and having to really see, not only how I've been that way with others, but how I've been that way with myself."
How you treat the people around you is often a direct reflection of how you treat yourself. In my experience, someone who is unkind to others is usually not very kind to themselves, so if you've had an attitude with the people around you lately, this one's for you, sis: what you focus on will expand, and some of us are so focused on the storms in life that we forget to notice when a rainbow is right in front of us.
A truly mature woman understands that we get all down on ourselves sometimes; but please understand that no self-slander will be tolerated here. Jada said that when it comes to negative self-talk, we have to check ourselves before we mentally wreck ourselves:
"[I've been] recognizing that self-love is about changing [that] harsh messaging within my mind, and the tone in which I speak to myself."
When you recognize that your energy is a treasure that should be protected at all costs, you move different. Jada said that this logic also applies when it comes to choosing her inner circle:
"And also realizing what I let in my life and who I allow in my life is a representation of self-love. This process has been very revealing in my process of eliminating unkindness and finding deeper ways to love. So, self-love, changing that messaging in my mind to more kind and gentle words; how I speak to myself. And being very careful about who I let in my life and what I let in my life."
Pastor Pinkett just slid through with the word we needed on this beautiful Monday afternoon, and that word is: self-love. That's it. That's the whole paragraph. It may seem like the world is on your shoulders and that you'll never have enough time, money, or resources to reach your goals, but quite frankly my dear, that's bullsh*t. Think enough of yourself to know you got it girl, you got it.
If you can change how you talk to yourself, you can change the world.
Featured image by Instagram/@JadaPinkettSmith.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: DonYé Taylor Asked Herself This Question When Creating Her Brainchild
"Being an 'ItGirl' is all about being yourself and taking all of the elements that make you who you are and displaying them at your highest capability," creative brainiac DonYé Taylor says in the introduction of the limited video series, "ItGirl In Motion."
In partnership with Hyundai, xoNecole has unveiled the limited series in conjunction with our inaugural ItGirl 100 list. The list boasts 100 Black women who not only innovate and take up space when it comes to putting on for their cities, but also as the driving force behind brands that create impact for the culture. ItGirl DonYé Taylor is one of the 100 featured ladies who put her purpose into action.
ITGIRL IN MOTION with DONYE TAYLORwww.youtube.com
As a marketing consultant, content creator, and CEO, a driving force behind DonYé's ambitions has been to show others how she sees the world by "creating art and doing things that shift perspective." In founding her brainchild, Nüclei, which is coincidentally also home to the ever-so-chic chrome brain piggybank, DonYé briefly touched on the inspiration behind the brand. "I was like, 'What would it look like if I were to be of service to myself?' And that's what made me create Nuclei," she said.
Watch the video above to take a peek into the life of the LA-based ItGirl, the importance of Black women receiving our "flowers" while we're here, and the three things she believes are absolutely essential to any ItGirl.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of DonYé and our partnership with Hyundai.
CREDITS
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production Company: @30inthemorning
AD/Gimbal Op: @jeffreyrattanong
DP: @jucelandrin_
Editor: @30inthemorning
1st AC: Bonnie Delgado @bonniebellevue
2nd AC: Liz Robles @lizfatimarobles
FPV Drone Op: Kai Kevin Goh @kaivertigoh
Gaffer: Nelson Nguyen @nelson_ftw
Key Grip: Ames Hoang @mangothemaker
SLT: Jamon Tolbert @jamon.tolbert
Sound Mixer: Deyo Forteza @introducingdeyo
PA: Breyona Holt @exquisite_eye
PA: Aminah Muhammad @aminahmuhamm
BTS: Marika Belamarich @marikarosegold
Featured image by Marika Belamarich for xoNecole