Quantcast

What A 7-Day Self-Love Challenge Taught Me About Myself

The experience provided a small reminder that made a huge impact.

Inspiration

I usually don't partake in these online challenges. I try my best not to fall into the trap of the social-media sunken place. Since I've labeled this the year of "firsts", I decided to participate in a challenge for the very first time. Surprisingly, I was no longer hesitant about it. I've reached a point in my life where I'm more comfortable explaining my story to people and being more vulnerable. Once I feel like I'm on the right path, I'm reminded that I have another opportunity at life and that I am indeed a work in progress. I can say that I'm thankful and proud of not being where I used to be.

What I admired about xoNecole's 7-day Self-Love Challenge was that it forced me to think outside of the box and informed me that my life isn't as bad as I thought.

With Necole and the editors' blessings, I've decided to be the brave soul to share what this challenge meant to me. Thank you, in advance, ladies.

Day 1: Create a list of all the things that bring you happiness, joy, or peace. Do one thing from the list today or this week.

I was so excited about this challenge that I dove in head first. I made it a point to keep a list of all the things I love to do. Many joys in life don't cost a thing, but how they make you feel is priceless.

Since I've trained my mind to always think about what brings me joy and happiness, this list didn't take long to complete. Again, this was a steady reminder that I am on the right path.

After stepping back and re-reading my list, I decided to pull out a few I wrote five months ago to compare and contrast my interests. The first list displayed things I thought I would enjoy but had never tried. I would add ideas and activities that seemed fun to the list in hopes I would be able to accomplish those things at a later date. I wasn't realistic with myself. With another list, I asked myself, "What makes me smile?" and I could equate a smile with peace and enjoyment.

Day 2: Write 10 positive sentences that start with 'I AM.' Record yourself reading them to replay when you're feeling unsure.

It's one thing to create a list in your head and whisper it to yourself. It's another to write it out and post it on social media. I'm not one to display those types of things publicly but after writing out statements, I felt they now became powerful. To read and recite my strengths was a beautiful moment. It reminded me that I'm multifaceted, and I would be doing myself a disservice if I was just one way. My statements made me feel so proud of the progress I'd made over the past two years.

This is something that I'll refer to on the days I don't feel so powerful. I felt like I was double blessed on day two: I helped myself and others.

Day 3: Capture a selfie without retaking it. Post on social media and caption it with one of the sentences from Day 2.

Image via Teisha Leshae

I am a person who knows her angles and what filters to use, but to risk it all and just trust the first picture didn't seem like an option. I have to take at least eight and choose at least two out of the eight.

After I took the picture, my mind drifted into a negative space, ripping myself apart about how I think I should look to the public. After I let one negative comment slip through my lips, I caught myself and just posted the photo. The person I saw in the photo was someone I didn't recognize for a moment. For so long, I'd done certain things just to "look presentable".

Looking at my selfie helped me become more mindful of my physical presence. If I cared a little more each day, I felt more content. The week after the challenge, I started to eliminate certain foods from my diet. Avoiding overindulging and saying "no" made me feel great.

Day 4: Call a friend and tell them how much you appreciate them in your life.

This day was a quick reminder that I don't have any friends. I've attempted to be a good friend to people I've met throughout my life, but unfortunately, none stuck around long enough. As much as I have become aware of my personal growth and development, I've always wanted to be surrounded by a group of women I love and respect. On day four of this challenge, that wasn't the case.

Realizing I had no one to call, I wanted to give up on the problem. If I'm not able to complete the tasks, then I should save myself the heartbreak. I thought about who to call over the next few days and realized there was one person who I hadn't heard from in a while---someone who's much younger but very mature. That person is my younger sister who is in college. The hour-long conversation was much-needed.

After having a tough week, it felt good to laugh and talk to someone who has the same unconditional love I have for her as she has for me. Now, whether it be over the phone or our many Starbucks trips, we always find a way to have a fun time.

Day 5: Treat yourself to breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Order delivery, cook for yourself, or dine out.

I'm not a foodie but if I find myself craving something, I make sure I eat it. Mexican food is my favorite. Some people call them Mexican restaurants, but those of us who live in Southern California call them taco shops. I love anything wrapped in a tortilla, so I purchased my go-to meal: a carne asada burrito with rice and beans on the side. I usually order my food to go, but on that particular day I decided to dine in. (When you eat in, you also get to enjoy one of the best chips-and-salsa combinations.) I took my time and enjoyed every bite. It felt like heaven in my mouth.

Day 6: Forgive yourself for a mistake you haven't made peace with. Write down some things you can do better next time.

Surprisingly, this one was tough. With my numerous homework assignments from my therapist, I thought I'd forgiven myself for all of the mistakes I'd made. I currently don't regret anything.

But if I had to choose, it would be giving energy to people who I knew wouldn't be a good fit in my life. I've entertained a handful of people knowing that I shouldn't have in the first place. I knew these individuals didn't align with my morals, values, and energy. This led to being forced to hold on to a memory that shouldn't have been a memory in the first place. I've wasted my time and the time of others. I've allowed my boredom to get the best of me.

The only way to avoid this ever happening again is to regularly check myself. Check-in with my mood and my headspace before inviting people into my space. I never want to choose out of desperation.

Day 7: Disconnect from social media for the day. Be mindful of how much more in the moment you are.

I couldn't honestly disconnect completely. Out of all my social media platforms, I've enjoyed Instagram the most. I'm mindful of who I follow, so I somewhat call Instagram a happy escape. I follow inspirational people and pages that start my day and week on the right foot. I've been so content in who I am as a person that I haven't allowed what others do on social media dictate how I feel.

However, for this day, I scrolled less and redirected my energy into something else. I made it a point to only check my social media three times, which seemed more manageable for me than completely disconnecting.

(How else am I supposed to laugh at my favorite memes?) I think it's best to do what works for me. I've found myself being more intentional about making myself unavailable to certain people.

Overall, I'm pleased to have done this challenge. The take-away was that I'm not as bad as I think. I've been focusing on the paint and not precisely the painting. The challenge gave me a chance to stop and reset. It also allowed me to meditate on new goals and future challenges. Since participating, I've encouraged others to do the same. It was a simple reminder that in order to receive the love we want, we have to make it a point to love ourselves the same way we would want others to love us.

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

7 Unapologetic Women Share Their Self-Love Journey

How To Truly Love Yourself

A Breakup Led Me To True Self-Love

Why I No Longer Believe In The Phrase 'Love Yourself Or Nobody Will'

Featured Image by Shutterstock

For some time now, the Human Design System has been picking up mainstream traction! And like so many other explorative journeys, the concept of Human Design took off via social media. Similar to Astrology, Human Design requires your birth time and date, and it also provides a map of sorts to help you navigate this world with purpose while being uniquely you (and tapping into your purpose). In fact, if you desire, the information can work simultaneously with Astrology.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

The more Saweetie prioritizes her mental health, the more gems she drops in the process. The “Icy Chain” rapper has been open in the past about her mental health struggles due to being overworked and not properly taking care of herself. After having a few mental breakdowns, she has been on a mission to put her health first and focus on self-care.

Keep reading...Show less

Black women have been redefining what wellness looks like since the beginning of time. (I even have a real-life, sassy, still-walking-signifying-driving-gardening example of this via my own 92-year-old Granny, who is the epitome of manifestation and self-preservation, as she has always defined wellness on her own terms.) We continue to shift the narrative, especially when it comes to what "wellness" actually means as a Black woman in a world where it can be so hard to simply exist in fullness.

Keep reading...Show less

We all know what it is to love, be loved, or be in love – or at least we think we do. But what would you say if I were to tell you that so much of the love that you thought you’d been in was actually a little thing called limerence? No, it doesn’t sound as romantic – and it’s not – unless you’re into the whole Obsessed-type of love. But one might say at least one side of that dynamic might be…thrilling.

Keep reading...Show less

Idris Elba and Sabrina Dhowre Elba are gearing up for the second season of their podcast Coupledom where they interview partners in business and/or romance. The stunning couple has been married for three years but they have been together for a total of six years. During that time, they have developed many partnerships but quickly learned that working together isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts