

I was cruising on auto-pilot; going through the motions of my daily life but not feeling as though I were really living. Holding a management position at my 9-5, I felt as if I were showing up every day but not really making an impact, nor did I care to put effort into doing so.
My personal relationship felt more like an obligation than the adventure that it was.
Socializing with friends was more of a chore than enjoyment.
My passion projects even began to feel like weights weighing me down.
If I were being unfair, I would say that those environments and those people were toxic and they were leaving me drained and unmotivated to put in any effort. But the truth is they weren't; it was something inside of me that wasn't allowing myself to live my life to the fullest or shine the brightest.
And while my loved ones did the best they could to engage, inspire, and uplift me, I could feel myself drifting further and further away.
Every morning I would lay in bed and promise myself that today would be different from the days before. I promised myself that today would be the day that I rose before the sun and started tackling all of the things and the people that I had on a back-burner.
But instead of getting up and doing something differently, I would feel chained to the bed were I would relive the memories of my life in a haze and come down on myself for wasting time or making those who love me feel as though I didn't love them.
Once I was all out of pity for myself, I would begin planning. I would no longer feel sorry for myself, so my inner saboteur used procrastination against me. I would lay in bed and plan, meticulously, the ways in which I would bounce back to being my bubbly and outgoing self. All of this planning, and still doing nothing really.
And after I was burnt out "planning" I would become overwhelmed by all of the work I planned out for myself. Instead of being empowering, it felt impossible.
Next dread would set in and I would begin to think of ways and excuses to get out of doing what I had just spent weeks planning and plotting in an effort to get out of the funk.
It was a destructive cycle. I won't even call it unproductive, because productivity is a construct, but I will say that the day in and day out depression and the feeling of being paralyzed was not a pleasant feeling at all. It was as though I were sinking into myself, free-falling into my soul, not a part of the world of which I lived.
It was terrifying.
And I honestly cannot remember where I got this advice, but the words "start small and start where you are" resonated with me. They sounded like a bell, the answer to my problem of existential dread and feeling of being burnt out. Just start living again… even if it's small steps.
So I picked up a book. Comparing my life to the life of others was one of the things that kept me feeling burnt out, so I thought to change that by reading. In the pile of books I purchased at the start of the pandemic that I said I was going to read, and two months later I hadn't picked up nary a one, I picked up Beloved by Toni Morrison.
Immediately, I was immersed in the world of Sethe and Denver, and was not only captivated by their story, but I was also reminded of what a brilliant and prolific writer Toni was. How she could create magic with her words and craft a story so profound that I was inspired to tap into my own creative writing energy.
After finishing Beloved, I was inspired to start again on a passion project I had put down, finishing my collection of poetry. I'm the type of person that dates poems or stories when I write them, and the last entry in my poetry journal was from two years prior. After reading Toni and picking my poetry journal back up, I churned out pages upon pages of drafts of poems. I was proud. I was excited to share. I was excited to get back to working on getting my book published.
I was so excited that I opened my laptop and began outlining a plan for completion for the project, researching costs associated, potential self-publishing platforms, hiring someone to design the cover, and hiring someone to help format. The cards were falling into place for this project that I had put on a back-burner for two years, and now after just a matter of weeks was on its way to completion.
As I began to immerse myself into long days and nights of pouring myself into writing, I began to feel the effects of no sleep on my body. I knew I needed rest to sustain this burst of energy and to not burn out again.
I usually struggled with taking breaks and rest, but I began going to sleep as soon as I needed to. When possible, I would sleep without setting an alarm. I would even leave my phone in another room so I could fall asleep without a screen in my face. I faced my thoughts and learned to not need a constant distraction from them by constantly scrolling social media. My rest became deeper, longer, and more healing. I found that daily my energy was increasing and my thoughts weren't as cloudy.
Since creating and resting were both equally important to me, I knew that I needed to gather better time management skills. After reading about others' experiences, I found a time management skill that works for me. Time blocking is a tip I use that allows me to allot specific amounts of time to specific tasks (both personal and professional). That way I can plan out my day, commit chunks of time to the to-do lists, and can be fully present and focused while doing that task because I know I've allotted time elsewhere in my day to do the other things I need to do. It took the anxiety away from having a day full of plans. I looked forward to them, they were more digestible and tangible.
Learning to make time in my days for the things I wanted and needed to do made my outlook on life brighter. It didn't seem overwhelming or as though there were no end in sight. I began to see it as the journey that it is and learn to look forward to the unknown that lies ahead.
I made time for my partner more and for friends more. I looked forward to plans and stopped looking for excuses to cancel. I could be fully present and there for the people that needed me without being consumed by my own inner turmoil.
And it all started with a small step.
What those small steps look like for you may be different than what it looked like for me. I picked up a book, but for you it may be taking a walk, cooking a meal, starting to journal, creating a morning ritual, or having daily prayer. But I want to pass along the knowledge and wisdom that starting small and starting where you are can be the first step in getting out of the smoke and fog that is a burnout.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
The ChatGPT Prompts That Got Me Through A Career & Life Transition
Oftentimes when we hear about ChatGPT prompts, there's always some sort of business pitch, entrepreneurship push, or other shortcut connected to money-making. (Well, at least that's been the annoying case with my Instagram feed.) It's undeniable, though, that ChatGPT prompts can be game-changers, even beyond business plans or revenue schemes.
For me, creating and using my own ChatGPT prompts has been more about self-motivation, self-development and inspiration, especially at a tough time of career transitions and personal shifts. And as cray-cray as things seem in the U.S., especially related to one's livelihood, future financial stability, and overall mental health, I decided to take back a bit of my power using a great AI resource that you'll literally wonder how the hell it knows you so well to even answer your prompts so accurately.
Here are a few ChatGPT prompts that have been super-helpful and empowering related to career and finances. Simply visit OpenAi.com/Index/ChatGPT (or use the app of your choice), copy and paste the prompts, and be sure to fill in the blanks before submitting them:
The "Level Up" Prompt
Write an encouraging letter to a Black [your age]-year-old woman who is a [occupation] and wants to level up in her career. She lives in [city and/or state], earns [your yearly salary], and wants to be able to [career passion 1], [career passion 2], [career passion 3] during her work day. She also wants to earn [your dream salary] and work from [office/home/dream place of business] but feels challenged by [briefly state challenge here in 3-4 words.]
I swear ChatGPT got me all the way together, reminded me of the amazing experienced journalist, editor, and speaker that I am, and gave quick tips on how to take things to the next level that are actually doable.
The "Get My Credit Card Debt In Check" Prompt
Write a detailed plan, with categories, for a woman in her [age group] who is a [occupation] earning [your yearly salary]. She wants to cut at least 50 percent of her current credit card debt of [card balance] with an APR of [percentage]. Her minimum payment is [amount] and she'd like to cut down in [days/months/years]. Her expenses include [list] along with non-negotiable spending on [leisure/travel/fitness/wellness or other activity].
From here, it can also create spreadsheets or you can request that it get more specific with each category. You can also request that the plan be adjusted based on the first response and whether it truly fits something you can realistically do. Add more specific details based on your life, the unique challenges you face, or other options you have in mind knowing what you're capable of or you're realistically interested in doing to pay off a debt.
The "Retire Early" Prompt
Write a step-by-step early retirement plan for a woman age [your age]. She has [time in years] of experience in [industry] and has been working for her current company for [how many years]. She also currently earns [amount] per year. She lives in [city and/or state], [rents/owns], and has [amount] in savings. She also has [amount] in her 401K [or Roth IRA---whichever is relevant to your situation.] She currently has [amount] in her checking account(s). [Add any other details about your earnings including side hustles, businesses, freelance work, settlements, lottery, rental income, or other funds you have access to.] She has [amount] in unpaid debt. She'd like to retire by [age; and be reasonable sis] and live in [city and state/country].
While early retirement might seem like a pipe dream to some of us, a prompt like this lets you know that it's more possible than you think. It's also something great to take to a financial adviser so you can sift through what's actually doable (based on real-life scenarios) and what's not.
The "Career Pivot" Prompt
Write a plan for a woman who works as a [occupation] and wants to pivot into earning money doing [new career or career activity]. She is passionate about [activity or goal] to serve [potential audience/client/customer]. She wants to transition out of [current career] to earn [amount] doing [new career or career activity] by [time/date] and earn [dream income that you'd make doing the new career activity]. Include steps and categories. Include a timeline to achieve this by [date].
This is a helpful prompt when you feel stuck in your current role (or even your career altogether) and simply need inspiration on what could be the perfect pivot. You can update this to include different career activities or scenarios, add company names or brands, and even ask for pitches or ways to brand yourself online to achieve this goal.
The "Faith-Filled Career Confidence Booster" Prompt
Write a letter from God to a woman who is feeling like she is behind in life. She feels lost and scared, especially with everything that is going on in the U.S. right now, politically and economically. She is [age], works as a [occupation], and lives in [city/state]. She has [educational degrees or training], loves [three passions/hobbies/favorite activities], and has [mention family, spouse, children, or other loved one, even if a pet here.] She is [mention three things you like about yourself including one about your appearance]. She wants to achieve [list two small but important goals here that are related to personal and/or professional life]. She has faced [list any major and specific challenges, briefly, here] and does not know how she will handle these challenges. Include [Bible verses] of encouragement to study.
This prompt had me in tears, but it reminded me of my Biblical upbringing and my foundation for success and motivation. It also reminded me to get stronger in my faith, to read my Bible a bit more, and to stop allowing doom and gloom to inform my approach to problem-solving.
The "Talk That Career Ish" Prompt
Write a letter from the perspective of a football [or sport of your choice] coach for a woman aged [age] who works as the best [occupation] in [city, state]. She has accomplished [list 3-5 highlights of your career, whether past or recent] and is a leader in [relevant business or career activities that reflect leadership, whether you've accomplished these things or they're aspirational]. She brings the following skills to the work with her: [list 2-5] and she is proud of [aspirational career goal of you at your highest career self.]
Add in the name of your favorite coach and this gets even better! (I used Deion Sanders, but choose who you want.) You'll not only get hyped up to remember the fabulous bad boss you are, but you'll also get tips on how to be even more successful in the future.
Try any of these prompts and use them as stepping stones to prompt positive thinking, further conversations for financial and career planning, or just a fun and potentially constructive distraction from all the mess that's going on. Dig deeper and request more specific steps, inclusions of actual resources like books, conferences, or course recommendations, or create images, vision boards, or graphs. Add in specifics that will help you remain accountable in planning to meet a specific financial or career goal.
Also, this is a big one: Be sure to remember that ChatGPT is simply a tool. It's neither a genie nor the Almighty. You'll need to fact-check, use common sense, and adjust any sort of plans based on your actual reality. Try out these ChatGPT prompts as springboards for sparking imagination, motivation, and innovation.
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Featured image by Getty Images