Two years ago, I used to wake up flustered and in a panic.
"What did I miss while I was asleep," I'd wonder as I scrambled to get out of bed to get to my laptop, all while scrolling through emails on my phone.
Within minutes, I'd be responding to texts, shooting off emails, making phone calls, and updating social media before I even had the chance to hop in the shower and eat breakfast. Those minutes would turn into hours, and before I knew it, my entire day had passed by before I had an opportunity to eat, drink a few glasses of water, and find my center.
It was no wonder when I visited a holistic doctor, in 2014 after my monthly cycle went missing, that I found out I was extremely fatigued, dehydrated, malnourished, and my nervous system was on the brink of shutting down.
I knew in that moment that things had to change.
During a February 2015 text exchange I had with Sway In The Morning co-host Tracy G., we dived into the topic of morning rituals, which went something like this:
Tracy: What does a successful morning look like for you?
Me: A successful morning to me right now is waking up with a positive mindset and knowing I can do anything I put my mind to. It might sound small, but I've mentally abused myself over the past year more than any man or human ever could. A successful morning means eating two meals before noon. It's the small stuff.
My success definitely does not include giving my mornings to others and not myself first, even though I am very thankful for my job.
That was my morning for 8 years, giving it to others. Now I make sure I wake up, drink a glass of water, open my blinds, listen to an empowering podcast while cooking my breakfast, and really make sure I've found my center before I plug into what the rest of the world is doing.
I'm trying my best to have an hour to myself in the morning before having to prep for my show. Now that you've realized that it's a non-negotiable, that can help you with future decision-making. If something is going to disrupt your recharge time in the morning – is it worth it?
Absolutely not.
Two years later, I've remained pretty consistent about my morning recharge time and it has literally transformed my days and changed my life.
Here are 13 things I find myself doing upon waking up before I've even had the chance to check emails or log into my computer:
- Lay in silence for 15 minutes and visualize how I want my day to go.
- Write down my intentions for the day in my journal.
- Pray (and thank God for the many blessings He's bestowed upon me).
- Stretch (a lot of people do yoga or meditate, I'm not there yet)
- Make my bed (I've found that if I don't do this, I'll want to jump back in.)
- Drink a glass of water (you are super dehydrated upon waking up).
- Open my blinds and let the sun in. (This is actually my favorite part of my day.)
- Shower. (The steam from the shower helps get my ideas flowing.)
- Cook breakfast. (Normally, it's 3-4 eggs with a side of oatmeal and fruit.)
- Take my vitamins.
- Listen to an empowering podcast or audio book. (This can be done while making breakfast.)
- Put on feel-good music.
- Aromatherapy. (I find that when I put Peppermint oil in my diffuser, it helps energize me. Lemon awakens my senses.)
Depending on how I feel, I may do about 15 – 30 minutes of cardio to get my heart rate going in the AM.
Once I've completed most of my ritual, and fully immersed myself into my "Me" time, that's when I will log online and plug into what the world is doing.
I have noticed such a dramatic change in my life since putting these rituals in place and my friends have all pointed out the shift they've seen in my energy and overall attitude towards life since I've been doing this as well.
A lot of people may say, "Sorry, I don't have time," but making the choice to go to bed earlier, and wake up an hour or two earlier makes all of the difference.
If you put a good morning ritual that works for you in place versus the usual routine of scrambling out of bed, hopping in the shower, plugging into emails, and rushing out the door, you increase your chances of having a productive, well-balanced, and positive day.
Try it, and let me know what happens!
What's your current morning ritual?
Originally published on Necole Kane.com
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Necole Kane is a retired celeb blogger, media mogul, and the founder of xoNecole.com and My Happy Flo. After spending 7 years as a successful celebrity gossip blogger, the Maryland native launched xoNecole.com with the mission to promote positive images of women of color as well as empower, educate, and inspire millennial women to live their best lives. Keep up with Necole on Instagram and Twitter @hellonecole, or through her personal website NecoleKane.com.
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As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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These tools have changed my life drastically as I have become more self-confident and developed more self-love. Lately, one of my go-to's for a spiritual boost is listening to podcasts. There are so many podcasts to choose from nowadays, and they aren't created equally.
However, if you're looking for a podcast that speaks to your soul and helps you in your personal development, then check out the 10 podcasts below.
Balanced Black Girl
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Take Back Your Mind
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty features many guests, from Big Sean to former First Lady Michelle Obama, as they open up about their tips for success and biggest life lessons.
Keep It Positive, Sweetie
Sistas actress Crystal Renee Hayslett created the Keep It Positive, Sweetie podcast, which hones in on discussions like family, second chances, and the art of submission.
Diary of A CEO
Diary of A CEO is more than a business podcast. It highlights many conversations like how to sleep better, the benefits of fasting, and how to reduce toxins in your body.
Being Her
Margarita Nazarenko has built a loyal fanbase on social media from her straight, no-chaser advice on dating, and recently, she launched a podcast called Being Her. The podcast digs a little deeper into feminine energy, manifestation, and, of course, dating.
Healed Girl Era
Gia Peppers hosts the Healed Girl Era podcast, and the name says it all. If you're in your healed girl era or want to get in your healed girl era, then this podcast is for you as Gia and guests tackle topics like self-love and finding your joy.
Super Soul
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Everybody's Crazy
Everybody's Crazy is hosted by best friends April McDaniel and Savannah James as they open up about their friendship and navigating life. However, their girl talk doesn't shy away from tough conversations like grief and mom guilt and how to overcome it all.
Therapy For Black Girls
Therapy For Black Girls is a mental health podcast hosted by psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford. The podcast covers everything, from dealing with depression to superwoman syndrome.
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