It's no secret that starting your day with gratitude is an essential tool for unlocking happiness and abundance in your life. No matter what season of life you are in, there’s always something you can jot down to be grateful for and in most cases, only takes a few minutes of your day to do.
Writing in a gratitude journal allows you to keep track of an ever-growing list of all the things that you’re thankful for and even sets your mind up to receive things you haven’t gotten yet. From the time you wake up, or go to sleep, the moments, people, and connections that make your day worthwhile are all worth documenting. In doing so, you train your brain into putting the focus on positivity and redirect you from sinking into a rut or bad mood.
Studies show that our brain is wired to fixate on negativity bias, meaning, instead of noticing the good, we tend to pick up on the bad first. That’s just a way our brain tries to protect us and recognize potential threats, but it also means that it takes a little bit more effort to place the focus back on the beauty in our life. And that’s where gratitude journaling comes in.
To assist in getting your brain on the right side of positivity, we’ve compiled a list of reasons you can benefit from keeping a gratitude journal and how it can open up a world of abundance in your life.
Improve Your Positive Emotions:
Writing down things you are grateful for can enhance positive emotions such as happiness, contentment, and joy. By focusing on what you have rather than what you lack, you can cultivate a more positive outlook on life. Studies have shown a link between writing down notes of gratitude to more optimism and an overall better feeling about life. In other words, you may just be a page away from an instant mood boost.
Intelligent Change, The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day, $29.00
Stress, Be Gone:
Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help reduce stress and anxiety. By taking a few minutes each day to reflect on what you are grateful for, you can cultivate a sense of calm and peace. Research suggests that implementing a regular practice of gratitude into your day can have positive effects on the body inside and out. When we worry, it can put unwanted stress on our hearts (physically), so learning how to cope with the pressures of life as it comes—because some days aren’t perfect—can help you level and be steady when the waves come.
Your Mental Health Will Thank You:
Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental health and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Keeping a gratitude journal can be a helpful tool in managing your mental health, adding that studies have even shown that “people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.” While the act of writing down three things you’re grateful for or sending yourself a voice memo of a moment that made you smile during your day can give you a fresh perspective on your circumstance and serve as a reminder that even the darkest of days get brighter.
Happy Journal, Happy Life: How drawing your day ignites creativity, boosts gratitude, and skyrockets happiness, $14.99
Get a Boost in Self-Esteem:
Reflecting on your achievements, no matter how small, can help boost your self-esteem and confidence. You can build a sense of pride and self-worth by acknowledging what you have accomplished. Keeping promises to yourself, prioritizing your wellness, and implementing acts of self-care, are all fuel to boost your overall self-image, so don’t forget to make a note of it as you show up for yourself.
Improve Relationships:
Did you know that how we feel about ourselves can show up in the way we relate to others? When we express gratitude for our partners, friends, and family, it can improve our feelings of connectedness and satisfaction within these dynamics. By acknowledging the good things about the people in your life, you can strengthen your connections and build more meaningful relationships.
An Increased Resilience:
Cultivating a practice of gratitude can increase your resilience and ability to cope with difficult situations. Gratitude acts as a defense against the challenging moments that may come about within your day. When we approach the day with what we can control, it helps us balance our emotions and build up our tolerance to manage uncertainties and setbacks.
Papier, Gratitude Journal, $35.00
Develop Mindfulness:
Gratitude journaling can be a form of mindfulness practice, helping you to be more present in the moment and appreciate the beauty of everyday life. By noticing and savoring the small moments of joy, you can cultivate a deeper, more profound sense of appreciation for life.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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