5 Ways To Detox Your Mind For A Mental Reset
As we say goodbye to 2020 and gracefully move into 2021, it's only right we say goodbye to our thought patterns that no longer serve us. I started my healing journey in December of 2018 after a toxic relationship. At the time, my mind was filled with broken thoughts of all men, love, and relationships. This toxic frame of mind eventually carried into my lifestyle and confidence in new relationships.
I decided to adopt a mindful detox practice to heal and attract more positivity into my life. During my detox journey, I eventually discovered the law of attraction. The idea that our mind is the gateway to our reality. It was that moment your girl became woke! In my experience, when I was comfortable in my toxic thought patterns, I eventually developed a lack mindset. A lack mindset is the idea of living in scarcity. A few examples are: "I can't", "I'll never have", or "I'm not good enough."
I unknowingly manifested more lack into my life rather than abundance.
Since adopting a detox practice for myself, I have noticed a huge difference in my aura, stress levels, relationships, self-esteem, and overall mental health. Detoxing your mind is essential if you want to find love, manifest more opportunities, and change your life, period! Here are 5 ways to detox your mind.
Embrace The Power Of The Pause
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A great way to detoxify the mind is by pausing. Adopting a meditation practice is one way to embrace the power of the pause. There is so much clarity that can be found in silence. Take a moment to be with yourself and your thoughts. You can do this by sitting up straight and closing your eyes. Focus on five to 10 deep breaths inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Dedicating as little as five minutes every day can give us awareness of our thought patterns and help us see the beauty in lessons life is teaching us. It also allows us to put our past experiences at rest and allows us to embrace the present moment.
Give Yourself Permission To Feel
As women of color, we are rarely permitted to feel. We are raised to be strong. To be the foundation of the home. To nurture our families and loved ones before we nurture our hearts. We lend our ears to those who need to be heard, our hearts for those who need to feel love, and our bodies to create more life. Women of color are valid in their feelings. Permit yourself to feel every single emotion. There is beauty in the flow of your tears, pain, and frustration. Allow yourself to feel and have a rebirth.
Journaling
Getty ImagesI am a huge fan of journaling. I love writing out my thoughts when I am triggered, having an ordinary day, or am overdue for a good mental detox. To detox is to release our body of any toxicities that no longer serve us. It's important to release the negative words we associate ourselves or situations with. Writing our thoughts down allows us to get it all out without the fear of judgment.
Our journal is a free space for us to be loud, unapologetic, and feel empowered through our words. We need to express exactly how we feel, it's how we become free.
Learn To Identify Your Toxic Thoughts
I'm going to keep it real with you all, this is an ongoing developing skill. When learning to identify your toxic thoughts, you have to work at it every single day and you won't be perfect at it. Learn to catch your negative thoughts in the moment and turn them around. A great example is turning a phrase like "I'll never love again" to "I will accept love into my life again when it is the right time for me." The more you practice this skill, the more likely you are to reprogram your brain and have a better outlook on life situations.
Forgive Yourself
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We all make mistakes. We all have toxic thoughts, have taken it too far or said too much, and have been hard on ourselves as a result. Forgive yourself, as you would forgive anyone you love. To forgive ourselves is also giving our mind permission to be at peace. Give yourself full permission to find self-acceptance and heal from the toxic thought patterns that have crowded your mind. You are human, still developing and growing in your flow. Embrace and love all of the characteristics that have made you into the beautiful divine feminine woman that you are. Detox your mind and be bold, loving, and forgiving towards yourself.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images