We all have that pesky voice in our heads that's constantly shouting, "You're not good enough," or, "You're not trying hard enough."
At some point, this voice starts affecting your psyche and the way you perceive what's around you. It digs into your brain and places doubt in almost everything you dream, desire, or do.
Unfortunately, that voice doesn't ever really stop and even when you're doing seemingly well in life, a quick look to social media can put you right back to square one in a rut of a self-deprecating session. However, I learned that while the inner voice doesn't stop, it does get quieter. Especially when you learn how to change it.
Using this voice as a motivator instead of a depressant transformed the way I looked at life and those around me. Here are a few helpful ways to tackle negativity in your life.
Body Shaming Yourself
We are so ready to stop men and other women from body shaming each other, but what about what we say to ourselves? We all tend to compare, and sometimes it can be constructive, but never when you're referencing your body. Your body is yours, with its own timeline and process. To make yourself starve, run, or diet because you want the body of someone else is the same as body shaming yourself.
Love your curves, lumps, and moles. Embrace what you have and work to make that better.
Society is focused on outer beauty but that doesn't mean your inside voice has to be. We are so strict on society telling us what size we need to be, but half of us are not as nice to ourselves. If you want to change your body, do it for you. Don't do it for what you believe your husband wants, or what society deems 'sexy'. Transform yourself for you.
When you compare your finances, success, or life to others - you're automatically diminishing the life you have. You're shitting on the work you've done to get there and the obstacles you've overcome to succeed; you are punking yourself, essentially.
It's hard to not compare in a world saturated with images of people being happy and having everything, but it's imperative you do.
We all know that everyone only shows the happy parts of their lives. It can be argued that you are only shown the parts that people want you to see, or want you to envy. Few times do you get on Instagram and see a person's shitty day or a day they felt overwhelmed by the world and needed a hug. Your success and happiness in life should not be measured by someone's ruler. Start congratulating those that are succeeding around you and before you know it - you'll be applauding yourself! (Not to mention, all those people you supported will support you!)
Lose The "I Don't Fit In" Attitude
Nobody is leaving you out. It's time to ditch that notion. How can you be left out of your own life? Surround yourself with empowering, strong, and caring people who make you feel wanted and needed and who listen to your successes and failures. "Fitting in" isn't something to achieve, it's something to pity. Focus on doing the things that make you happy and don't pay attention to what others are doing. Your purpose is unique because it's your purpose, you're not supposed to be part of the norm (which is all relative anyway).
Your life is bigger than this moment, enjoy your struggle.
Ever think about when you were 13 and prayed every day to be older? If only you knew then what you know now, eh? This is now. This is then. Live in these moments. Being anxious about future endeavors that you can't control (ie: marriage, kids) is distracting you from enjoying what you have now. There will never be a time in your life like the one right now; make sure you are learning from it. If you're in a hard time, understand you will get out and have a lesson to learn. If you're in the highs of your life, be grateful and take it all in. We all have an ebb and flow to our life. Our mission is to enjoy and learn from it all.
Life is way too short as we are often reminded by the media. The trick is to enjoy what you have and be proud of what you're building for your future. Don't be caught up in the lives of others.
As far as I'm concerned, it's never paid any of my bills.
Featured image by Getty Images