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I’m Not Saying She’s A Gold Digger.

Her Voice

The most ironic part about Black women being called Gold Diggers is that if that's the truth, then we aren't doing a very good job at it. Either we don't know how to dig for this gold or we've confused fool's gold for the real thing.


Despite leading the way in advanced degrees, college-educated Black women still make less money than other groups, including college-educated Black men, suffer from having disproportionate rates of poverty, access to quality healthcare, sexual assault, and sexually transmitted diseases (even though Black women are NOT any more likely to be promiscuous than any other woman).

So where is this pot of gold that we seem to be digging for?

A woman's desire to seek out the best provider for herself and her offspring is deeply embedded in our genetic coding. It is our feminine instinct to want a man with resources. It's one of the things that makes us feel secure in a relationship. However, Black women are continuously told that seeking out such a man makes her a despicable user.

Truthfully, most educated Black women do marry men less educated than them (mostly because the pool of college-educated Black men is small), and many of these marriages end in divorce.

"Degree-holding Black wives put their education to use. In Black families, college-educated wives often assume the conventional economic role of the husband. According to one study, married, college-educated Black women earn more than 60 percent of their household income, approximately the same percentage earned by the average White husband. College-educated Black women are sometimes the sole earners in their family, as more than one out of ten married, college-educated Black women have a husband who is unemployed." (Is Marriage for White People? Ralph Richard Banks, pg.85).

So, again I ask, where is this pot of gold we are supposedly digging from?

The Black community has done a good job at gaslighting Black women into going against their own feminine instincts by encouraging them to carry on the legacy of helping Black men out to fight against White "Supremacy," as though Black men are so impotent that they cannot do what men from other communities have done and are doing for their women, and that is BUILD! Building sustainable communities in which women and children can truly thrive.

The other irony is that nearly every other group of women on our planet practices hypergamy (the practice of marrying up to improve one's financial and/or social status) in some way, shape, or form, but simultaneously look to Black women to be the poster children for the "Strong Independent" woman who doesn't need a man to accomplish anything in life. These women will "Go Girl" you into making relationship choices they themselves would never make or encourage their daughters to make.

Related: Why Are Women Accepting Bare Minimum As Bae Material?

Take Peggy Drexler for example, who recently wrote an article for the Wall Street Journal entitled "Single Ladies, It's Time to Pony Up When the Check Comes" encouraging women to split and pay for the check on dates. After some digging, I found out that Peggy Drexler was married (last time I checked) to a man worth over two hundred million dollars. She is a NYC Research Psychologist, and I highly suspect she doesn't foot half the bills for her current lifestyle, but she wants you to.

What Peggy Drexler, and many other men and women, fail to understand is that the entire purpose for a man paying for dates on most of the dates during the courtship period is to demonstrate that he is both willing and capable of financially providing for a woman and any children should the courtship lead to marriage. So, men who cannot meet the bare minimum of affording dates (and they needn't be very expensive dates) should be eliminated from the pool of potential suitors altogether.

I strongly encourage Black women to raise the bar for overall standard of treatment in both courtship/dating and marriage and require men to build a table for you to bring something to.

Related: I Have A Perfect Response To "What Do You Bring To The Table?"

Men will live up to the standards we set. The same man who will bash women about being gold diggers, split bills on dates, and present himself as a mediocre package, will get himself together for the woman whose culture requires him to man up and be at a certain level to marry her. It's mating psychology, and our hardwired genetic mating psychology doesn't care about the latest new age dating trends.

Before I close, I'll leave you with a word about men and potentiality. There is nothing wrong with being with a man who is going places and has the potential to be very successful in the future.

The difference between a man with potential and a pipe dreamer is that a man with potential will be actively making moves to realize his set goals. He will also NOT require you to foot the bills for him to reach his goals during this time.

Black women desiring a man that will help her financially is a natural one (even if you can make your own money), and Black women wanting to practice hypergamy shouldn't feel ashamed.

Wanting a partner who can elevate your life in every possible way is so important, and it's not Gold Digging when the woman in question is kind, loving, nurturing, intelligent, and focused on building a family legacy.

Featured image by Shutterstock

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

Reparations

We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
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Featured image by Shutterstock

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