

Wigs are the newest wave and we refuse to not swag surf until the board breaks. If it were up to me and not my bank account, I would have a room full of wigs named after my favorite celebrities. From Cardi B to Viola Davis, wigs have become a mainstay for boss women not only because of their convenience but also for their undeniable flair. If you want to try a new style or color, you can always rock a wig to try it out before making a permanent decision.
In the past few years, the negative connotation of wigs has been replaced with that of opulence and class. Back in the day, wearing a wig was seen as a way to go undercover or as a hair loss solution. While you can keep those on the list of pros of rocking a wig, they offer so much more in this day and age.
I used to find them profoundly intimidating before I learned more about them. Frontals, U-Parts, Glueless… you name it! I had the opportunity to embark on a new wig journey by trying a frontal wig for the very first time using XOXO Virgin Hair. Keep reading for the piping-hot tea.
The Brand: XOXO Virgin Hair
XOXO Virgin Hair
As the first hair brand to use Vietnamese hair, XOXO Virgin Hair is 100% pure, making the product free of synthetic fillers or chemicals. The brand proclaims that the hair is double drawn, ensuring clients full and thick installs and because the weft construction is durable, thin, flexible, and consistently constructed, there is minimal shedding. The website reads, "The quality of our hair appeals and caters to the discerning taste of both clients and hair stylists, as our hair can last up to 3-5 years or more with proper care, a wonderful investment to those who seek longevity and high performing hair."
Founder Stephanie Nolan launched XOXO Virgin Hair in 2014 after observing a lack of quality hair extensions when working on sets. Like the girl boss she is, she took matters into her own hands by creating her own brand. Stephanie's goal was to transform the hair extension experience through high-performing products. And don't get it twisted, her clientele includes the likes of Solange, Lizzo, Jackie Aina, Jordyn Woods, Normani and more.
Whether you need bundles, a HD film lace frontal or a custom wig, XOXO has you covered.
The Wig: Deep Wave Frontal Wig
Normani rocked a similar unit during her 2019 MTV VMA performance. The wig features a 13x6 Swiss Lace Parting with lasting curls and three wig combs and adjustable straps. It comes unstyled so that you have the freedom to create the look you desire. My mane consisted of 22/24/26 lengths, similar to Normani's VMA look.
My Review
This was my first frontal wig installation and it was a whole experience. The first order of business was to find a stylist Denver that could lay my wig like Beyonce's flowing locks. Although Denver is highly Caucasian, I had been eyeing this dope stylist named Tiarra Waldrup on Instagram for the task. She has worked her magic on the heads of bosses like Karen Civil so I knew I would be in good heads.
I booked my appointment and I immediately fell in love with Tiarra's holistic approach to hair as she talked through every single step of the process in an effort to make sure I was educated on the maintenance of a frontal wig. We talked about glue vs glueless, freeze spray, maintenance and so much more. One of the main reasons I wanted to be a part of the wig gang is because I have Seborrheic dermatitis, a common skin condition that mainly affects your scalp causing scaly patches, red skin and stubborn dandruff. This is also why I love a good protective style. Tiarra gave me a great shampoo and then braided me down. Next came the daunting part: applying the wig cap.
Confession: the stocking cap application almost took me out. I am what black folks call "tender-headed", so my pain tolerance is -50.
Tiarra did tell me that it would be tight because it helps to smooth and flatten my braids to create a natural appearance. She popped me under the dryer and then proceeded to apply the wig. The moment she put the wig on, I felt like a new woman and I hadn't even seen anything. Homegirl started styling me by plucking the lace to match my hairline and then she added some products to enhance the already fire curl patterns. She did comment about the color of the lace as it has a darker hue but it didn't end up needing any makeup or concealer. When completing the look, she told me she approved of this hair vendor because the quality of the hair was truly sensational. I left the salon swinging my inches like I was an extra in a Beyonce music video.
Over the next few days, I found the maintenance to be very easy. I would wake up, comb or brush out the hair and add some mousse if I wanted to define the curls more. I can't even lie — I am in love with this wig! It's gorgeous, beautiful, easy to maintain and has very little shedding. Best of all, it looks so natural. Everywhere I go, people shower me with compliments.
If you're looking for a way to switch it up with quality and style, XOXO Virgin Hair is an amazing option.
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Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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My personal relationship with birth control pills is a bit of an odd one. Back when I first became sexually active (I started having sex with my first boyfriend a couple of months shy of 19), I took them for a couple of months, didn’t like how they made me feel, and so I quit using them altogether (and got pregnant almost immediately after). The rest of my adult life, I stayed off of the pill and pretty much only used condoms (and even then, not consistently — SMDH).
And yet here I am, now, all these years later, back on them again: surprise, surprise.
These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
Okay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
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Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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