When it comes to sex, I'm all about the classics and relying on slight variations of those moves to keep it exciting: a leg lift there, a bite to the shoulder here, a strategically placed hand on the ass there. To get a little more advanced about technique, the legs on the shoulders variation of the missionary position (see: The Anvil) gets me where I need to go. Every. Single. Time. I turn my brain off and surrender to the feeling of being filled completely. It's deep, passionate, intimate, and my orgasm is typically a good seven strokes away (especially if that low moan/throaty whisper of “Oh fuck" comes at the right moment to further beckons me to come undone). That's why a classic is a classic. It's tried, true, and undoubtedly effective. Mmmm.
When I think of the female orgasm, particularly my experience with having trouble finding my own during sex, it is that Eighth World Wonder that men and women alike are oftentimes demystified by due to its elusive nature. There is no magical how-to book to help you find it, but there are tools and techniques to guide you along the right path to the female O. If you want to learn how to hit it from the back, check out my four favorite hit it from the back positions that are proven to promote and enhance your orgasm.
Baby, bend ova.
How To Hit It From The Back
1.Reverse Cowgirl
What it is:
A hybrid of the classic doggystyle position and the riding position (aka Woman on Top). Your partner lies flat on his back and you position yourself on top of him, but instead of facing him directly, your back is facing him while you lean forward, using his lower half for balance as you rock back and forth.
Why it's great:
It's very easy to hit your G-spot in this position. It's also great for guys who aren't as gifted in length and helps them feel bigger inside of you. As with most on top positions, you're able to take full control of the act, its rhythm, its speed, its angle, which again is a +++ for helping you achieve orgasm.
Featured image by Getty Images
- Best Positions For G-Spot Orgasms | POPSUGAR Love & Sex ›
- This sex position is most likely to make women orgasm ›
- Spice Up New Sex Position for Easier Orgasm | Glamour ›
- These Sex Positions Help Women Reach Orgasm | The Chicago ... ›
- Sex Positions for Women Who Don't Orgasm Easily - Men's Journal ›
- 12 Sex Positions That Really Hit 'The Spot' | CafeMom ›
Having a community of people who I can share memories with, lean on in times of need, and inspire each other is something I always valued. I took a moment to truly center in on what I desired from the new friends I would make. Then I realized it all would have to start with me. I had to be centered and confident in who I was to attract who I desired to be aligned with. As someone who moved to a new city and established quality friendships, I gathered these six tips that helped me feel grounded and create community in hopes that it will help you, too.
6 tips to start building community and making new friends in a new city:
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Be true to yourself
Do you know who you are? If someone asked you to describe yourself in three words, what words would you use? In order to develop deep friendships, you must be a friend to yourself first. Know what refuels you and what zaps your energy. Self-study your habits and why you do the things you do. All this will be important to keep in mind when looking to create bonds with others. Every day there’s all kinds of people telling you who you should be, how you should act, or what you should wear. At the end of the day, the only opinion about yourself that truly matters is your own. Spend some alone time with yourself indoors or out at an event you like to truly discover who you are in this season of your life.
Pray about it
Before you step out into the world and cross paths with all kinds of people, it’s important to pray about building your community. God outlines what true friendship looks like in numerous Bible verses such as "Iron sharpens iron." - Proverbs 27:17 and “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” - Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. If you desire friendships that last, pray about what you seek in friendship. I remember praying for mentally stable, happy, and whole women who moved through life with abundance mindsets. Take a moment to journal about the community you want to build and then pray on it.
Go to fun events to meet people who share your interests
Most metropolitan cities like Washington, D.C., New York City, and Atlanta are known to have strong young professional communities and events where you can connect with others. I highly encourage you to attend events in or near your community to see what the city is like and meet people. It’s likely that the people at the event have the same interests as you, which is a great way to start a conversation. You can start by searching for events on Eventbrite or following Instagram pages that highlight events happening in your city.
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Accept that you won’t be compatible with everyone you meet
While living in your new city, it’s likely you’ll meet a variety of people. Please know that everyone you meet will not bud into lasting friendships, and that’s okay! You are uniquely created and not made for everyone. Then you’ll meet people who are good for only surface-level connections, and then you’ll have your girls who you can get deep with. I think sometimes people can look down on surface-level friendships, but not everyone needs to fully know you. That’s a privilege to have and to accept within yourself. Continue to check in with yourself and be real about who you crave to spend more time with and who is nice to see for a monthly or quarterly catch-up.
Join Facebook groups & GroupMe chats
If you haven’t used Facebook in a couple of years, it’s time to dust your profile off. Facebook Groups is a great place to join online communities for people who just moved to a new city like you. Typically, you have to agree to the group’s guidelines, and then you can join. For example, you can search for groups in the Facebook app by using keywords like women, Black girl, or [the name of your city] foodies. With the GroupMe app, you’ll have to be invited to join an already existing group. While you’re out and about networking, don’t hesitate to ask if they’re in any online groups/communities they recommend you join too.
Be friendly to folks in your neighborhood
When I first moved to my new apartment, I spent the first week walking around the complex and working in the community spaces to get a better feel of it. I was able to meet people in my neighborhood, enjoy small talk, and learn more about what the community has to offer. Step outside of your comfort zone and work in your apartment’s community space or a local coffee shop to connect with others.
Overall, you may feel alone in your new city, but I guarantee you’re not. There are other people experiencing living in a new city too, and all you need to do is find each other. I hope these tips help ease the nervous feelings you have about building a new community and inspire you to make a new friend today!
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