If you frequent this site a lot—and hopefully, you do—you can certainly vouch for the fact that we talk about orgasms. A LOT. Off the top of my head, we've published "WTF Is A Blended Orgasm?", "10 Unexpected Ways To Intensify Your Orgasm", "This Is How To Master The Female Orgasm", "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm" and "4 Hit It From The Back Moves That Are Bound To Get You To Orgasm"—and that's just for starters!
Are we obsessed? Eh, maybe a little. I mean, who doesn't enjoy having an orgasm?! But aside from the close-to-indescribable rush of pleasure that orgasms bring, there is also plenty of research and documentation that they do wonders for our health and well-being too. How?
Orgasms relieve stress, increase blood circulation, help to regulate your period, lessen pain (including headaches), strengthen your immune system, put you in a better mood, make you smarter—I mean, really…need I go on?
So, when I happened to notice that July 31 is National Orgasm Day, of course, I had to give a day that is so important to us—and hopefully to you—a big ole' shout out! When you think of all of the holidays and other special days of observance that come up in a 365-day cycle, be honest. Can you think of any other day (shy of your birthday) that you'd want to take out the time to celebrate more? Yeah, me neither. If you'd like to make this particular orgasm day the best one yet, here are some things that will literally turn your climaxes into the gift that just keeps on givin'.
1. Workout for 30-45 Minutes
Although I don't live in the gym, some of my closest friends do, and a few of them are big fans of post-sex coitus. They claim that it provides a high like no other (I did some Googling and there are several articles that actually cosign on that). At the same time, there are also articles that give rave reviews when it comes to getting a little cardio in on the front-end as well. The feel-good hormones endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin that come from exercising will intensify during sex, the increased blood flow from the workout will make your orgasms stronger, and since exercising can improve flexibility, it'll be easier to get into all of those sex positions that help you to orgasm the easiest too.
So yeah, if you didn't already workout this morning, try and get a half-hour or so in before heading home. That, combined with a warm shower (or even some shower sex), can take your climaxes totally to the next level!
2. Have a Fresh Berry Salad
If you're hungry but you're not sure what you want, this is the perfect time of year to enjoy a fresh salad; preferably one with some spinach and berries on it. Spinach, because the manganese that's in it will increase your estrogen levels, while the zinc that it contains will boost up your sex drive. Berries, because strawberries contain vitamin C, zinc, and iron to give you more stamina, blueberries trigger dopamine in your system so that you'll feel more pleasure, and raspberries because they've got Vitamin E in them. Vitamin E has the nickname "the sex vitamin" because of its uncanny ability to help us to strengthen our sexual performance.
3. Enjoy an Orgasm Cocktail
If you want a technical breakdown for why and how alcohol makes you horny,Maxim broke it all down pretty well. And, if your favorite alcoholic beverage of choice is wine, word on the street is the scent of Zinfandel or Pinot Noir is what will get you all hot 'n bothered, while the aroma of champagne or Moscato will do a man in.
Still, I figured that in honor of National Orgasm Day, why not toast one another and/or the sex you're about to have with a couple of Screaming Orgasm Cocktails? It's basically a combination of vodka, Irish cream and coffee liqueur that gets the name because of how good it tastes. But if somehow, even after reading through all of this, I still can't convince you to engage in a couple of romps, at least you can make this drink and not be lying when you say, "Yep. I had an orgasm last night" while talking to one of your girls tomorrow.
4. Affirm Your Partner
There's no question that the biggest erogenous zone that we have is our brain. After all, how could any of us become sexually stimulated without it? That's why you should never underestimate how much you and your partner need to feel positive, connected and affirmed by one another before, during and even after coitus goes down.
Take a few moments to talk about what you enjoy about one another and even what some of your fantasies are. Eye contact, heartfelt sentiments and honest compliments are some of the most slept-on acts of foreplay that there is.
5. Go Someplace Other than Your Bed
I'm known to ask people I know (and even people I don't know) random questions. One that I asked semi-recently is what can cause a person to get bored in the bedroom. Something that seemed to be a general consensus is "always having sex in the bed". When I asked where they'd prefer to go in order to switch things up, many said the kitchen, backyard or on the stairs.
Hey, I'm not saying that you should automatically aim for those locations. What I am saying is if the bed is always the go-to, at least try the couch or the floor. When it comes to good sex, variety is always key.
6. Incorporate a Little Honey
Back when I was sexually active, a favorite sex addition of mine was honey. I liked it for what I'm assuming are pretty obvious reasons, but apparently it was doing more for my bedroom action than I thought! There is a mineral in honey called boron that 1) raises testosterone levels in men and 2) increases men and women's libidos and can help orgasms to last longer.
So yeah, having some honey on your bed stand certainly can't hurt either.I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how to make honey work in your favor, but if you'd like an edible massage recipe that's got honey as one of its ingredients, you can find one here.
7. Play Musical Chairs (for Him)
As far as a sexual position that your man will be totally in love with, try your own sex twist to musical chairs. Maybe put on a throwback like Montell Jordan's "Let's Ride" (who remembers that?), do a quick little dance and then sit him down on a chair. Put your legs over his shoulders and, well, you get it. The visuals alone will be sure to do wonders and the deep penetration makes this a male orgasm favorite!
8. Get in the Missionary with a Pillow Underneath (for You)
The missionary position is a classic—always has been and always will be. I think for us, we like it a lot because it's comfortable, it's intimate (there's eye-to-eye contact that way), and it's a great way to enhance clitoral and G-spot stimulation. The best way to up the chances of this particular sex position giving you an orgasm is by putting some pillows underneath your butt. Your partner's access will be easier and deeper. And you know what that means.
9. Spell “Coconut”
If you ain't neva had sex with a Gemini before, you'd betta ask somebody. I am a proud card-carrying one. I've also had sex with one. There are no words (le sigh). Anyway, when all of the coconut memes went viral last month, personally, I found it to be quite fitting. Why not, during the month of June, should a new hot sex trend be on everyone's lips?
If you happened to miss it, the tip is to ride cowgirl while slowly spelling out the word "coconut" with your hips. Although the memes were jokes more than anything else, I know some folks who actually attempted it. Chile, they think that the Kenyan women who got the viral thing started in the first place were truly onto something, whether they realized it or not. And, since the cowgirl position is one of the praised positions for achieving an orgasm, why not give it a shot?
10. Set Your Sights on a Multiple Orgasm
What better day to have a multiple orgasm—or at least try to—than on National Orgasm Day? The way to achieve these is by making sure you are truly at ease with your partner, extending foreplay, doing some deep breathing (and edging) and increasing your stamina.
For more of a breakdown, "How to Have Multiple Orgasms: Tips and Techniques for Better Pleasure" is an enlightening read. But more than anything, purpose in your mind to enjoy yourself. While orgasms should be a regular occurrence, National Orgasm Day only comes around once a year. Make sure to make it totally worth you—and y'all's—while!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Secrets To Feeling Super Sexy (When You Don't)
What GROWN Women Consider Great Sex To Be
Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP
My First Orgasm Changed Everything I Thought I Knew About Sex
Feature image by Getty Images
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- National Orgasm Day - Wikipedia ›
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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