When it comes to sex, I'm all about the classics and relying on slight variations of those moves to keep it exciting: a leg lift there, a bite to the shoulder here, a strategically placed hand on the ass there. To get a little more advanced about technique, the legs on the shoulders variation of the missionary position (see: The Anvil) gets me where I need to go. Every. Single. Time. I turn my brain off and surrender to the feeling of being filled completely. It's deep, passionate, intimate, and my orgasm is typically a good seven strokes away (especially if that low moan/throaty whisper of “Oh fuck" comes at the right moment to further beckons me to come undone). That's why a classic is a classic. It's tried, true, and undoubtedly effective. Mmmm.
When I think of the female orgasm, particularly my experience with having trouble finding my own during sex, it is that Eighth World Wonder that men and women alike are oftentimes demystified by due to its elusive nature. There is no magical how-to book to help you find it, but there are tools and techniques to guide you along the right path to the female O. If you want to learn how to hit it from the back, check out my four favorite hit it from the back positions that are proven to promote and enhance your orgasm.
Baby, bend ova.
How To Hit It From The Back
1.Reverse Cowgirl
What it is:
A hybrid of the classic doggystyle position and the riding position (aka Woman on Top). Your partner lies flat on his back and you position yourself on top of him, but instead of facing him directly, your back is facing him while you lean forward, using his lower half for balance as you rock back and forth.
Why it's great:
It's very easy to hit your G-spot in this position. It's also great for guys who aren't as gifted in length and helps them feel bigger inside of you. As with most on top positions, you're able to take full control of the act, its rhythm, its speed, its angle, which again is a +++ for helping you achieve orgasm.
2.The Wheelbarrow
What it is:
As its title playfully implies, you are acting as the wheelbarrow in this position with your partner. If you've ever had sex in a standing position, the wheelbarrow is similar, but instead of using your legs for balance, your partner lifts you up by the hips while you grip your legs at his waist. Your partner enters you either anally or vaginally and controls the rhythm of the sex session, giving you the ride of your life.
Why it's great:
The depth of him paired with the dizzying feeling of being lightheaded gives you a new kind of thrill. For those who aren't as athletically inclined, there is a seated version that is the same position, with him seated on a bed or similar surface.
3.The Rear Admiral
Bad Girl's Bible
What it is:
Yet another standing position that incorporates the depth and dominant feel of doggy style positions. The Rear Admiral position involves both partners standing, the receiving partner in front of the giving partner. They will then enter you. You then bend over and will keep in sync with your partner's rhythm by them holding your hands back towards them as they thrust into you. You can either spread your legs or have them open, depending on which you two prefer.
Why it's great:
It's a great way to relinquish to your partner full control, which in and of itself can be a hot act. Having them hold your hands back while they pound you relentlessly is a hell of a feeling. And while they have control, the depth plus the rhythm is a great way to hit the spots you need to be hit, particularly the G.
4.The Leap Frog
soc.ucsb.edu
What it is:
A direct variation of the doggystyle position. While on your hands and knees, you raise your hips, and keep your head and arms on the bed for the duration of the sex act. Arch your back ladies, point those toes.
Why it's great:
As with all of these positions mentioned, the emphasis is being placed on creating deeper penetration and therefore giving more access to your G-spot and further beckoning your ability to orgasm. Another benefit is the fact that you can still access your clit to rev things up a bit in the pleasure department.
Featured image by Getty Images
- Best Positions For G-Spot Orgasms | POPSUGAR Love & Sex ›
- This sex position is most likely to make women orgasm ›
- Spice Up New Sex Position for Easier Orgasm | Glamour ›
- These Sex Positions Help Women Reach Orgasm | The Chicago ... ›
- Sex Positions for Women Who Don't Orgasm Easily - Men's Journal ›
- 12 Sex Positions That Really Hit 'The Spot' | CafeMom ›
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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