How I'm Staying Rodeo-Ready For Riding Cowgirl
We can discuss all of the awkward parts about riding d*ck, but it has to be acknowledged that so much of that awkwardness seems to come from your damn thighs being tired. I commend guys for their stamina and the work that they put in to get and give that nut when they're stroking because hooooney, my thighs turn into Jello after what feels like 30 minutes and is truly only about a quarter of that. Right about then is where I just fall flat on dude's chest and silently beg for him to flip my ass like a burger on a flat top grill.
I'll throw this ass back for you all day long if it means you'll get me a cookie, some water, and a pat on the back for that thorough ass five minutes that I put my life on the line trying to saddle up.
If cats have nine lives, then I've used three of mine trying to master cowgirl while being out of shape. Yet, this is something I so badly desire to master. Every time sex is on the books, I find myself purging the internet looking for ways to improve while not sounding like I need an oxygen tank after a short while. Like Allen Iverson when he graced the courts back in the day, Sexpert Tyomi Morgan-Najieb was the answer with her online riding workout.
But it was working out, so of course, I talked my roommate into doing it with me. Months passed and my roommate completed the series of workouts and I was still stuck. Fast forward nearly a year later, I got myself together and hit play on the first workout.
Days deep into the New Year, working out was still high on my list of year-end resolutions and this was me trying to make good on them but clearly, I wasn't ready-ready because in what world does someone who hasn't worked out at all in the previous year come empty-handed without a water bottle? Especially because each of the workouts is anywhere from 60 to 90 minutes. I pushed through and here's my review of the four-part workout, which, full disclosure, I did in a one week span (if you value life, maybe don't follow my example).
Burn Baby, Burn
Experts estimate that while riding or in cowgirl, women burn anywhere from a buck twenty in calories to a buck seventy-five, depending on how hard you get your blood pumping. This can be done by incorporating more hip movements and with this workout, you will have the stamina to do so.
The main muscle being worked while in cowgirl are our quads, but as always we forget how valuable and useful our cores are. One thing I can undoubtedly say is that Tyomi makes sure she hits the core and every other muscle you will need to use to take first place at the Rodeo — every week was a full body workout and left me gasping for air. Of course, this got easier over the course of the week like any fitness routine.
Find Your Flow
What I will say is that with this being a workout that required me to channel my sensuality and thus confidence, I felt uber uncomfortable watching my awkward but full hips roll in the mirror. Yet, thoughts of self-doubt distracted me from the slow burn I was feeling in the lower half of my body and that's definitely a benefit. As someone who hates dancing, mostly because repeatedly saying I can't dance has become a self-fulfilled prophecy that I play up to avoid uncomfortable attention — I often transfer that same energy to sex because they feel as though they're one in the same.
But with every day that I carried on, I took Tyomi's advice and truly tried to wrap my mind around doing it for myself. I mean I'm not having sex and haven't in quite some time, so in a way, it was for me but everything in me was still worrying about how embarrassed I'd be if I actually mirrored what I saw in the mirror on the D.
In overthinking, I realized I was making the experience about men and their pleasure and not myself, my pleasure, and my comfort. Although these thoughts were still present, I did these workouts in the span of a week but if I were to do them three times per week (as suggested) for the next couple of months, I could envision the inevitable change in my confidence and body that might come.
Have Fun With It
And, while I have no doubt that the workout would improve my skill, I'm adamant that developing my abilities in the bedroom has a lot to do with the growth of confidence in ways I hadn't even realized I lacked. The confidence that comes from simply letting go and embracing where you are in order to just have fun with it.
One might say it's one part core and quads working and two parts confidence that builds the skill we're all looking for when it comes time to be on that tip.
Related Articles:
I Took A Sexercise Class With My Husband - Read More
I Had A Billion-Dollar Orgasm With This $2000 Sex Toy - Read More
Contrary To Popular Assumption, Black Women LOVE Getting Their Hair Pulled During Sex - Read More
- My Review Of The Cowgirl Sex Toy Machine - xoNecole ›
- 7 Cowgirl Positions That Will Give You The Ride Of Your Life - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 7 Riding Sex Positions, Girl On Top - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Beyoncé Doubles Down On Not Releasing Visuals For 'Renaissance' Or 'Cowboy Carter': 'The Music Is Enough'
While many people are still unpacking the CMAs shutting out Beyoncé'sCowboy Carteralbum, her cover story for GQ's October issue is now taking center stage. Beyoncé is shown rocking the big hair we've come to love in her country era, giving us queen realness as always.
In the interview, the multifaceted singer spoke about the two albums in the trilogy, Renaissance and Cowboy Carter, as well as her family. She also opened up about her exciting business ventures, such as her haircare brand Cécred and the launch of her whiskey, SirDavis, and why it's crucial for her to be more than just the face of her brands.
"There’s a huge contrast between the business journeys of men and women. Men often have the luxury of being perceived as the strategists, the brains behind their ventures. They’re given the space to focus on the product, the team, the business plan. Women, on the other hand, especially those in the limelight, are frequently pigeonholed into being the face of the brand or the marketing tool. It’s important to me to continue to take the same approach I have taken with my music and apply my learnings to my businesses," she said.
"I am here to change that old narrative. I’m here to focus on the quality. We took our time, and we did our research, and we have earned respect for our brand. I try to choose integrity over shortcuts. I’ve learned that true success isn’t about leaning on a name; it’s about crafting something genuine, something that can hold its own. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being revolutionary."
I know that's right Bey! Check out the highlights below:
On her daughter Blue Ivy being a creative.
I build my work schedule around my family. I try to only tour when my kids are out of school. I always dreamt of a life where I could see the world with my family and expose them to different languages, architecture, and lifestyles.
Raising three kids isn’t easy. The older they get, the more they become their own individuals with unique needs, hobbies, and social lives. My twins are God-sent. Parenting constantly teaches you about yourself. It takes a lot of prayer and patience. I love it. It’s grounding and fulfilling.
My kids come with me everywhere I go. They come to my office after school, and they are in the studio with me. They are in dance rehearsals. It’s natural that they would learn my choreography.
Blue is an artist. She has great taste in music and fashion. She is a fantastic editor, painter, and actress. She has been creating characters since she was three. She’s a natural, but I did not want Blue onstage. Blue wanted it for herself. She took it seriously and she earned it. And most importantly, she had fun! We all watched her grow more and more every night before our eyes.
On her decision to not provide visuals for "Renaissance" and "Cowboy Carter" albums.
I thought it was important that during a time where all we see is visuals, that the world can focus on the voice. The music is so rich in history and instrumentation. It takes months to digest, research, and understand. The music needed space to breathe on its own. Sometimes a visual can be a distraction from the quality of the voice and the music. The years of hard work and detail put into an album that takes over four years! The music is enough. The fans from all over the world became the visual. We all got the visual on tour. We then got more visuals from my film.
On being proud of the work she put into "Cowboy Carter."
I am proud of what I have been able to do, but I also recognize the sacrifices—mine and my family’s. There was a time when I was pushing myself to meet unrealistic deadlines, while not taking the time to enjoy the benefits of why I was working so hard. There aren’t many of us from the late ’90s who were taught to focus on mental health. Back then, I had little boundaries, and said yes to everything. But I’ve paid my dues a hundred times over. I have worked harder than anyone I know. And now I work smarter. In the end, the biggest reward is personal joy. Has what I created pushed others to think freely and believe in the impossible? If the answer to that question is yes, then that is the gift.
On legacy being her biggest motivator in business.
I get excited about love, legacy, and longevity. Do I love what I am trying to create for the love of it? I am discovering that legacy is the common denominator in all the businesses that I have done.
On protecting her family and her peace.
We live in a world of access. We have access to so much information—some facts, and some complete bullshit disguised as truth. Our children can FaceTime and see their friends at any given moment. My husband and I? We used calling cards and Skype when we were falling in love. I couldn’t afford the international hotel bills, so I literally would get international calling cards to call him. Just recently, I heard an AI song that sounded so much like me it scared me. It’s impossible to truly know what’s real and what’s not.
One thing I’ve worked extremely hard on is making sure my kids can have as much normalcy and privacy as possible, ensuring my personal life isn’t turned into a brand. It’s very easy for celebrities to turn our lives into performance art. I have made an extreme effort to stay true to my boundaries and protect myself and my family. No amount of money is worth my peace.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Kevin Winter/Getty Images for iHeartRadio