5 Signs It's Time To End Your Friends With Benefits Relationship
Maybe it started off as just a friendship and, from there, sex got involved. Perhaps sex was the starting point and a friendship was built. There may have not even been sex involved at all. Maybe there was a friendship with sexual or emotional tension so thick that it could cut through ice.
Friends with benefit situations are extremely hard to escape from with both parties being completely unscathed. At some point or another, one of those two people are going to get their feelings hurt. If your friends with benefits situation has been holding on by a thread, it may just be time to cut him and yourself loose before things become even more complicated.
Here are 5 of the most common signs that it's time let the comforts of your Netflix and chill FWB go.
1.The Respect Is Gone
No relationship can be successful without respect. If you find yourself constantly trying to leverage with him to give you the bare minimum amount of respect you deserve, you no longer feel fulfilled in your friendship, or your closest girlfriends have pointed out on a number of occasions of how disrespectful he is towards you, the respect is definitely gone.
There is no point in sticking around trying to convince him why he should respect you. You know how you deserve to be treated and it's probably how you have continued to treat him regardless of his recent disrespectful streak.
The best way to gain your respect back is by showing him how much you respect yourself and gracefully bowing out. Perhaps in the future, a friendship can continue, but staying to try to convince someone you are worth respect is counterproductive to gaining the respect you deserve.
2.He's Moved On
Eventually, you both knew one or both of you would meet someone and eventually get into serious relationships. Maybe deep down inside, you hoped that special someone would be you, but things didn't exactly go that way. He might have sprung it on you out of nowhere or your investigation skills may have come into play and you figured it out on your own. Regardless of how you found out, you know now that you are no longer his number one.
I remember a situationship I was in, where I told the guy I was seeing, the moment I was no longer the one he wanted to share his memories with was the moment I would no longer be interested in carrying on the type of friendship I had with him. I knew my limits. I knew what I was comfortable with and I have never been comfortable not being the only one. As a woman, as hard as it can be to see the person you've been sharing your time, emotions, and possibly even body with has chosen someone else other than you, trying to convince him to stay, or worse, competing with another woman always ends badly.
If he wanted to be with you, he would have made that clear, and choosing to be with another woman says the exact opposite. Remember the beautiful memories you created together but don't stay in that place of regret or trying to fight for something that was never yours to begin with.
3.It's No Longer Fun
When you first became friends, things were fun! You saw each other when you wanted to, every moment with him was intense. It didn't matter what you were doing together, you knew you were going to have an amazing time. If you find yourself questioning why are you even still dealing with him, if he's not treating you how he did in the beginning or even middle, or if he seems uninterested in carrying on the friendship - why stress yourself out trying to make it work?
As a friend, it's always a good idea to find out if everything in his life is going okay. It could be stress or a slew of other problems bothering him, but if you feel it in your heart of hearts that it's something deeper and directly related to him no longer being interested in your friendship, bowing out may be the best bet, especially if he's man enough to be upfront with you.
4.You're In Too Deep
The slightest disagreement with him sends your emotions overboard. You find yourself checking all of his social media accounts to see what other women he's checking for or who is checking for him. The last time at his house, it took everything in you not to use his thumb to unlock his phone while he was sleeping. You ask him about other women, he laughs it off. You tell him how you've been feeling lately, he laughs that off as well
The mere thought of him no longer being in your life is enough to drive you to tears. The reality of friends with benefits type situations is that there is absolutely no commitment and that is both what attracts people and is usually the cause of their demise as well.
If it's clear his feelings are nowhere as deep as yours and you are driving yourself crazy trying to figure out why not, it's time to move on. You can't force a person to love you or share the feelings you do. You can't sex someone, feed someone, friend someone, or love someone into loving you. As harsh as it sounds, and as much as fuckboys say it, you knew what you signed up for. You can't get mad at him for not gaining the feelings that you did. In this case, it's best to let it go and realize that a friends with benefits situation is not something that you are truly seeking in a man. You want a relationship and that is fine, it just wont be with this guy at this time.
5.He Wants More And You Don't
Maybe your friendship is based on him being the shoulder you cry on. He's your stability. He is the guy you can call at 2 a.m. to come fix your tire, but he's not boyfriend, zaddy, or husband material. Maybe your physical relationship is amazing, but you can't bring him to meet the parents nor would you ever want to. You know all the reasons why he will never be the man for you, but you like how things are going and he does too, right? Wrong!
You probably knew from the beginning that his feelings were deeper than yours, or perhaps lately he's been way more emotional than usual and he's not letting up on calling you his "girl" no matter how many times you've asked him not to. Just like women, men can catch feelings just as easily and fall just as hard. If you know that you would never want to be in a relationship with him, but he wont let up on the subject you have to end the benefits of the friendship, understand that means no more calling him with your emergencies in the middle of the night, no more sex, no more doing all of the relationship things that have aided in making him fall for you. To continue with the benefits aspect is not only confusing, it's cruel.
If you know you have no intentions in being with this man, stop making him believe he has a chance with you and torturing him even more. Moving on from the situation may be difficult because he has been your saving grace in more than a few occasions but you know it's only hurting him the more you continue with your friendship.
At the end of the day, friends with benefit situations can be doable for people that are ready and willing to handle the highs and the lows that can definitely come with sharing your heart, bed, or food with no strings. Yes, food too! Ya'll know a man can get attached once he's tasted your grandma's famous macaroni and cheese recipe, greens, and hot water cornbread. I digress. It's better to cut ties than to draw out the inevitable and create a blood bath of emotions.
Let it go now and save the friendship, or continue to hold on to a dead situation that can result in the end of a once beautiful friendship.
Love and light.
Featured image via Giphy
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Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes vegetarian, writer and spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. keep up with her @ashleyreneepoet on Twitter & Instagram.
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
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DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
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DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Manifestation is the act of making something real that was once an idea or thought. We are doing it constantly through the thoughts we are thinking the most, whether we are conscious about it or not, and it makes up our entire existence. Being intentional about your thoughts and what you are focusing on, and therefore what you are manifesting into your life, is critical when it comes to what you want to see in your world.
Manifesting tools and ways of enhancing your own personal magic in life will be different for everyone, and that’s where Astrology comes in.
Some people, like Mercury-ruled Virgo and Gemini, work best when they can write down their thoughts and manifest their dreams in that way. Others like Venus-ruled Taurus and Libra love a good visual and creating vision boards and aesthetics that match what they want to manifest for themselves tends to work best for them. Manifestation is a power we all have, but we all also have the ability to use it and enhance it in different ways.
Manifest Your Dream Life Through Astrology
In Astrology, there are a few key places you can look to discover your strengths in creating your dream life. Your 11th House, which rules your hopes, dreams, manifestations, and community. Your 10th House, which rules your achievements, goals, social stature, and successes. As well as your 1st House, which is the House that represents your sense of self, your personal goals and life path, and your self-identity.
All of these areas in Astrology align us with our dreams and inspire us to take action on them and to be more intentional about what we are creating in our world.
To manifest your dream life, you need to first ask yourself what you want. Get to the bottom of what it is you desire, know yourself, and discover what potential mental blocks may be limiting you from receiving it.
Are you an Aries who loves the idea and the initiative of manifesting something, but when it comes to needing more patience and trusting the divine timing of it all, do you self-sabotage and jump ship? Being Mars-ruled, Aries can create their dreams by balancing their proactive approach with self-trust and believing that what they are putting out will come back to them in positive ways.
How Each Zodiac Sign Should Manifest Their Dream Life
By identifying yourself, your traits, and your habits, you can find your strengths and where more of the magic is in your life and manifest the life you have always dreamed of.
Read below for your sun sign, and also look at your 11th, 10th, and 1st house signs as well to get the full picture:
ARIES
Aries would do well with studying the law of attraction. For Aries, the best way you are going to manifest for yourself is by getting out of your own way and letting things come to you. For some signs, they may need to be taking more action, taking more risks, and putting themselves out there more to manifest, but Aries doesn’t have that problem.
Aries is always taking action and taking initiative, and to manifest more, you need to take a step back and let things come to you. Trust and wholeheartedly believe that you are worthy and ready for what you are looking for; let it go and watch it manifest for you, Aries.
TAURUS
Taurus needs a good atmosphere to manifest. If you are not feeling comfortable, safe, and in tune with yourself, then it is hard for you to do anything, and you need to make sure the vibe is right first and foremost.
There is also a mystical side that not many people know or see right away, and you can create some real magic by lighting intentional candles, using flower therapy, and visualizing what you want to manifest for yourself in a luxurious bath or atmosphere.
You need to feel your manifestations, and going for a test drive in your dream car, touring your dream house, and doing the things that put you physically in the space of your manifestations works best for you, Taurus.
GEMINI
Gemini manifests best by creating and putting pen to paper. You have a lively mind and a curious spirit, and by moving around, exploring new places, and getting your energy excited, you create an opening in your life for magic. Geminis have a unique and open-minded vision and don’t need much to be in a good space to manifest.
Meditation will help you calm your mind so you can focus on one thing you want to manifest for yourself. However, you don’t want your active mind to make you feel scattered, which isn’t good for manifestation. It will also help you to communicate, talk about the things you want to happen for yourself, and put them out into the universe.
CANCER
Cancer’s gift of manifestation comes through from the heart. A lot of people associate manifestation with something your mind does, but it’s really all in the heart and feeling into where it takes you.
To create the perfect space for you to manifest your dreams, make sure you are in a place where you feel comfortable and at home and a space that makes you relax and focus on the joy and gratitude in your world.
Journaling, creating art, spending time on hobbies and passions, and doing things that put you in a space of creation and ease all serve you well. You shouldn’t try to manifest if you are not feeling emotionally well or up for it and should work on this magic when you internally feel called to, not out of fear or need of control.
LEO
Leo’s make great visualizers, and they can see and create things for themselves before they happen. Being inspired is very important when it comes to what you can manifest for yourself, and you’ll need to be in these inviting, exciting, and passionate places to do so. Getting out of your normal routine, getting a new scenery, and keeping an open mind serves you well here.
With your creative soul, you can better manifest by creating a physical vision board or making one with your favorite Pinterest pins. For you, the act of manifesting is the most important part, so get creative with it. Don’t judge your process or your way of doing things here; just create.
VIRGO
For Virgo, it’s all about being in the right headspace to manifest. Virgos can get in their head too much, which can block their blessings, so meditating, journaling, and relaxing can help you get to a good place to make your dreams come true.
Virgo is a sign that rarely gets enough rest as they are always doing and taking care of things. The challenge with this, however, is that your manifestations can’t reach you when you are always moving around, focused on the next thing you have to do.
Creating more time and space in your life to relax, rejuvenate, rest, and allow your blessings to meet you halfway is essential. Remember that taking action is just as important as making the intention, but so is letting it go and allowing it to come to you.
LIBRA
Libra is a visual manifester and manifests through positive intention, love, and creativity. Getting inspired, going to an art show, being physically around people similar to what you want to manifest for yourself, and being creative is good for your manifestation potential. Write down what you want for yourself, then look for ways to create more of it in your life right now.
Libra is a sign that mirrors others; use this gift to mirror the things you want for yourself. You can do this by dressing for the job you want, going to places you want to be in, and connecting with people there. Overall, it means acting as if it is already so for you. Your strong Venus energy makes you a magnet for your desires.
SCORPIO
Scorpio sees and feels everything in an in-depth way and does well when they can get out of their emotions and remain in the present moment. For you, Scorpio, manifesting gets easier the more you can own your power rather than fear away from it, and the more you can create from a space of divine intention rather than control.
Setting up affirmations and positive keywords for yourself serves you well. Knowing your trigger words and places can help you navigate and learn more about how you speak to yourself to make sure you are saying and doing things that will give you what you want, not what you don’t.
Write a positive affirmation that reflects what you want for yourself right now, put it on your mirror, and then read it every day before you brush your teeth.
SAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius is a master manifester. Your optimistic soul serves you well when it comes to manifesting your dreams, and you have an endless amount of them. It is not difficult for you to get inspired, but you do come across this energy more when you are traveling, learning, exploring the world, and connecting with people.
However, with your expansive mind, it can be hard to define exactly what you want for yourself and to stay focused, so journaling and writing down your intentions in an organized, concrete way will serve you well. You are ruled by Jupiter, which is the planet of good luck and manifestation; however, overall, just by being yourself, living your authentic life and truths, and being happy, you are easily able to manifest your dreams.
CAPRICORN
Capricorn is a practical soul, and this earth sign is more automatically geared to not trusting or believing in things they cannot see. You often see success as something that comes from hard work, and although this is true in a sense, it doesn’t always have to be difficult or a struggle.
For you, manifesting your dreams is going to come from realizing that it can really come to you that easily.
From thought to reality, it can all be that simple for you, Capricorn. Honoring your spirituality more, implementing a positive daily ritual or spiritual practice, and believing in the impossible will help you manifest your dreams. For you, Capricorn, it’s about trusting the universe more and believing in miracles.
AQUARIUS
Aquarius is an insightful and intuitive soul and is another sign that is naturally gifted in the art of manifestation. Aquarius is the ruler of the 11th House, which is literally the house of manifestation, so you come into this world with a gift here. For you, manifesting comes from visualization.
You are a very visual and in-tune soul, and you can create worlds from your mind alone. It’s all about defining your larger-than-life ideas and dreams and feeling how it would be to receive them. You have the mental aspect down, but implementing more heart and emotion into your manifestations and truly feeling how having your dreams come true would look like for you is essential.
PISCES
Pisces, you are ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, both planets that are key when it comes to manifestation. The Neptune side of you helps you imagine the impossible, be creative, and be inspired by your dreams. Your Jupiter side helps you have faith in it all and strengthens your connection with the universe. For you, manifesting comes from getting out of your head and into your heart.
You are often daydreaming and imagining scenarios you want to see happen, which can definitely help you manifest, but you’ll want to find a way to do so with a more grounded approach.
You can do so by creating space and preparing for something to enter your life that you have set your intentions for, and taking more action on the things that reflect your ideas and dreams.
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