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The Personality & Love Compatibility Of An Aquarius, Explained.

This unconventional badass inspires us all to embrace our inner weirdo.

Horoscopes

Born between January 20th and February 18th, Aquarius, a fixed Air sign, is the highest expression of its element. Highly intelligent, these individuals enjoy discussing a wide array of topics from human rights, extraterrestrial encounters, and conspiracy theories. Typically, there are two starkly different expressions of Aquarius—one being the Saturnian, conservative type and the other being the "Wild Child" archetype influenced by its modern ruler Uranus.


As a masculine sign, they have no problem taking the lead whether in their professional affairs or within their relationships. A bit of a control freak, it's important for Aquarius to give others the opportunity to take the reins. Their uncompromising nature can often result in them isolating themselves from others—especially those that they perceive as a threat to their authority.

As the 11th sign of the zodiac, Aquarius represents the voice of collective in contrast to its opposite sign, Leo, which prizes individuality. Although these friendly Air signs enjoy being a part of a group they often find themselves struggling to feel at home amongst their social network. From an early age, Aquarius is keenly aware of just how different they are from their peers which often contributes to feelings of loneliness.

Growing up, there could have been very strict, demanding, and critical influences that made it difficult for them to express their individuality. And if ever there was a display of sovereignty, severe punishment was often the result. Once the Aquarius becomes an adult, they can be quite rebellious as they carve out space for themselves in the world.

Aquarius Zodiac Sign: An Overview

Physiologically, Aquarius rules the calves, ankles, and shins granting many of them long, slender legs (particularly those with Aquarius Rising). In addition to the legs, they are also associated with the circulatory system. Generally, their body temperature can run pretty cold which is why they prefer warmer climates. In the cold seasons, you can usually spot them bundled up in an impressive amount of layers. Depending on what end of the spectrum they're on, you'll either find them dressed down in a simple attire of fashioned in dramatic colors, prints, and textures that make them look like a walking textile factory.

As important as setting themselves apart is for some Aquarians, they are ultimately a woman/man of the people.

Although their motivations aren't typically fueled by their emotions, their strong conviction in what is best for ALL of humankind often positions them as activists, humanitarians, and thought-leaders. Naturally inquisitive, they seek to understand what connects us all at a core level. Given their organizational abilities, Aquarius can easily gather others together for a common cause that can ultimately impact some changes—whether on a small or grand scale.

Aquarius Best & Worst Personality Traits

Best Aquarius Personality Traits:

  • Inquisitive
  • Humane
  • Original
  • Systematic

Worst Aquarius Personality Traits:

  • Temperamental
  • Aloof
  • Uncompromising

Aquarius in Career

Ruled by Uranus, Aquarians are drawn to the world of IT and inventions. Their progressive mindset positions them to be on the leading edge of new breakthroughs not only in the tech industry but in the field of science as well. Given their altruistic nature you can easily find them working in a lab to find a cure for cancer. Due to their clearly defined beliefs of what is right and wrong, they typically bode well in positions of influence such as politics, social work, and teaching.

As a future-oriented zodiac sign, Aquarians tend to consider how they can impact generations to come. "Each one teach one" is a motto that they put into action whether they are formally guiding others or just setting an example amongst their peers. Their motivation to improve the lives of disenfranchised groups can lead them to philanthropic efforts as well.

Aquarius in Love

With an Aquarius, or any sign, it's important to learn their love language. As a masculine Air sign, this isn't the most emotionally expressive zodiac sign (although you'd be surprised by the chaos that is underneath the surface of their steely-eyed gaze). Sometimes referred to as the Ice Queen/King, it can take a little time for them to warm up to a new suitor. In the earlier stages of a connection, they're enticed by the idea of picking someone's brain to figure out who they're dealing with. The road to intimacy is a well thought-out process so you can forget about this sign falling head over heels for you (unless they have some prominent Water or Fire placements in their chart).

Oftentimes, it's common for an Aquarius to end up pursuing a relationship with a long-time friend. They like to know that there is common ground between them and their partner that isn't solely based on a physical attraction or the oh so dreaded feelings. Sometimes they can send mixed signals in an attempt to create emotional distance and to emphasize their independence. If they're not careful, someone can easily take their approach as a lack of interest.

The more Saturnian Aquarians like to take things slow and can easily shy away from dramatic displays of affection. If you're coupled up with one of these types, acts of service may be one of their love languages. On the other hand, the charismatic Uranian Aquarians typically have many varied types of friends. Even when they break things off with a romantic interest, they don't have a problem maintaining a platonic connection. Generally, other Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) and Aries and Sagittarius are good matches for this rebellious genius.

Famous Aquarius Celebs

Rich Fury/Getty Images for dcp

  • Megan Thee Stallion
  • The Weeknd
  • Oprah Winfrey
  • Michael Jordan
  • Kelly Rowland
  • Kerry Washington
  • Brandy

Featured image by Rich Fury/Getty Images for dcp

You may not know her by Elisabeth Ovesen – writer and host of the love, sex and relationships advice podcast Asking for a Friend. But you definitely know her other alter ego, Karrine Steffans, the New York Times best-selling author who lit up the literary and entertainment world when she released what she called a “tell some” memoir, Confessions of a Video Vixen.

Her 2005 barn-burning book gave an inside look at the seemingly glamorous world of being a video vixen in the ‘90s and early 2000s, and exposed the industry’s culture of abuse, intimidation, and misogyny years before the Me Too Movement hit the mainstream. Her follow-up books, The Vixen Diaries (2007) and The Vixen Manual: How To Find, Seduce And Keep The Man You Want (2009) all topped the New York Times best-seller list. After a long social media break, she's back. xoNecole caught up with Ovesen about the impact of her groundbreaking book, what life is like for her now, and why she was never “before her time”– everyone else was just late to the revolution.

xoNecole: Tell me about your new podcast Asking for a Friend with Elisabeth Ovesen and how that came about.

Elisabeth Ovesen: I have a friend who is over [at Blavity] and he just asked me if I wanted to do something with him. And that's just kinda how it happened. It wasn't like some big master plan. Somebody over there was like, “Hey, we need content. We want to do this podcast. Can you do it?” And I was like, “Sure.” And that's that. That was around the holidays and so we started working on it.

xoNecole: Your life and work seem incredibly different from when you first broke out on the scene. Can you talk a bit about the change in your career and how your life is now?

EO: Not that different. I mean my life is very different, of course, but my work isn't really that different. My life is different, of course, because I'm 43. My career started when I was in my 20s, so we're looking at almost 20 years since the beginning of my career. So, naturally life has changed a lot since then.

I don’t think my career has changed a whole lot – not as far as my writing is concerned, and my stream of consciousness with my writing, and my concerns and the subject matter hasn’t changed much. I've always written about interpersonal relationships, sexual shame, male ego fragility, respectability politics – things like that. I always put myself in the center of that to make those points, which I think were greatly missed when I first started writing. I think that society has changed quite a bit. People are more aware. People tell me a lot that I have always been “before my time.” I was writing about things before other people were talking about that; I was concerned about things before my generation seemed to be concerned about things. I wasn't “before my time.” I think it just seems that way to people who are late to the revolution, you know what I mean?

I retired from publishing in 2015, which was always the plan to do 10 years and retire. I was retired from my pen name and just from the business in general in 2015, I could focus on my business, my education and other things, my family. I came back to writing in 2020 over at Medium. The same friend that got me into the podcast, actually as the vice president of content over at Medium and was like, “Hey, we need some content.” I guess I’m his go-to content creator.

xoNecole: Can you expound on why you went back to your birth name versus your stage name?

EO: No, it was nothing to expound upon. I mean, writers have pen names. That’s like asking Diddy, why did he go by Sean? I didn't go back. I've always used that. Nobody was paying attention. I've never not been myself. Karrine Steffans wrote a certain kind of book for a certain kind of audience. She was invented for the urban audience, particularly. She was never meant to live more than 10 years. I have other pen names as well. I write under several names. So, the other ones are just nobody's business right now. Different pen names write different things. And Elisabeth isn’t my real name either. So you'll never know who I really am and you’ll never know what my real name is, because part of being a writer is, for me at least, keeping some sort of anonymity. Anything I do in entertainment is going to amass quite a bit because who I am as a person in my private life isn't the same a lot of times as who I am publicly.

xoNecole: I want to go back to when you published Confessions of a Video Vixen. We are now in this time where people are reevaluating how the media mistreated women in the spotlight in the 2000s, namely women like Britney Spears. So I’d be interested to hear how you feel about that period of your life and how you were treated by the media?

EO: What I said earlier. I think that much of society has evolved quite a bit. When you look back at that time, it was actually shocking how old-fashioned the thinking still was. How women were still treated and how they're still treated now. I mean, it hasn't changed completely. I think that especially for the audience, I think it was shocking for them to see a woman – a woman of color – not be sexually ashamed.

I hate being like other people. I don't want to do what anyone else is doing. I can't conform. I will not conform. I think in 2005 when Confessions was published, that attitude, especially about sex, was very upsetting. Number one, it was upsetting to the men, especially within urban and hip-hop culture, which is built on misogyny and thrives off of it to this day. And the women who protect these men, I think, you know, addressing a demographic that is rooted in trauma that is rooted in sexual shame, trauma, slavery of all kinds, including slavery of the mind – I think it triggered a lot of people to see a Black woman be free in this way.

I think it said a lot about the people who were upset by it. And then there were some in “crossover media,” a lot of white folks were upset too, not gonna lie. But to see it from Black women – Tyra Banks was really upset [when she interviewed me about Confessions in 2005]. Oprah wasn't mad [when she interviewed me]. As long as Oprah wasn’t mad, I was good. I didn't care what anybody else had to say. Oprah was amazing. So, watching Black women defend men, and Black women who had a platform, defend the sexual blackmailing of men: “If you don't do this with me, you won't get this job”; “If you don't do this in my trailer, you're going to have to leave the set”– these are things that I dealt with.

I just happened to be the kind of woman who, because I was a single mother raising my child all by myself and never got any help at all – which I still don't. Like, I'm 24 in college – not a cheap college either – one of the best colleges in the country, and I'm still taking care of him all by myself as a 21-year-old, 20-year-old, young, single mother with no family and no support – I wasn’t about to say no to something that could help me feed my son for a month or two or three.

xoNecole: We are in this post-Me Too climate where women in Hollywood have come forward to talk about the powerful men who have abused them. In the music industry in particular, it seems nearly impossible for any substantive change or movement to take place within music. It's only now after three decades of allegations that R. Kelly has finally been convicted and other men like Russell Simmons continue to roam free despite the multiple allegations against him. Why do you think it's hard for the music industry to face its reckoning?

EO: That's not the music industry, that's urban music. That’s just Black folks who make music and nobody cares about that. That's the thing; nobody cares...Nobody cares. It's not the music industry. It's just an "urban" thing. And when I say "urban," I say that in quotations. Literally, it’s a Black thing, where nobody gives a shit what Black people do to Black people. And Russell didn't go on unchecked, he just had enough money to keep it quiet. But you know, anytime you're dealing with Black women being disrespected, especially by Black men, nobody gives a shit.

And Black people don't police themselves so it doesn't matter. Why should anybody care? And Black women don't care. They'll buy an R. Kelly album right now. They’ll stream that shit right now. They don’t care. So, nobody cares. Nobody cares. And if you're not going to police yourself, then nobody's ever going to care.

xoNecole: Do you have any regrets about anything you wrote or perhaps something you may have omitted?

EO: Absolutely not. No. There's nothing that I wish I would've gone back and said to myself, no. I don’t think at 20-something years old, I'm supposed to understand every little thing. I don't think the 20-something-year-old woman is supposed to understand the world and know exactly what she's doing. I think that one of my biggest regrets, which isn't my regret, but a regret, is that I didn't have better parents. Because a 20-something only knows what she knows based on what she’s seen and what she’s been taught and what she’s told. I had shitty parents and a horrible family. Just terrible. These people had no business having children. None of them. And a lot of our families are like that. And we may pass down those familial curses.

*This interview has been edited and condensed

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Feature image courtesy of Elisabeth Ovesen

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