Quantcast
Five Rules For Making A Friends With Benefits Relationship Work
Shutterstock

Five Rules For Making A Friends With Benefits Relationship Work

No strings attached.

Love & Relationships

When it comes to "friends with benefits", we are usually discouraged from participating in this type of relationship. I think that is because they usually tend to be one-sided. One person usually wants more while the other does not want to commit to more with that person and is satisfied with a purely sexual relationship. The person that wants more usually becomes a reluctant participant in the game in hopes that one day the other person will want more and choose them. While that situation may be the norm when it comes to friends with benefits, it is not always the case.

Sometimes two people are on the same page and truly only want one thing from each other. In those instances, it is still important to set rules and boundaries.

Also, it's important to have check-ins from time to time. Just to see if you are both still on the same page and assess if anything has changed. Maybe things are going well with the guy that you have been casually dating and you two have been talking about becoming exclusive. Or maybe you're starting to catch feelings. The one thing constant thing is change so check-in with your casual partner and keep the following guidelines in mind.

1.Be Honest

Be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether you can really handle this sort of arrangement. Is being in an FWB really what you want? If you are absolutely sure you can handle it, it's equally as important to be honest with your partner too. Be upfront and honest about what you like and/or don't like. If you're not enjoying yourself, then what's the point really? Also, if you find that one day you're just not interested in participating anymore, you should definitely let them know. Don't feel pressured to continue just because you previously agreed to it. You are always allowed to change your mind about anything.

2.Choose Wisely

I learned my lesson about dating in the workplace in my 20's so I would definitely not recommend indulging in a friends with benefits situation with a coworker. Things could go left and quickly. If you want to choose a casual partner to engage in a friends with benefits relationship, consider choosing an actual friend. Or if you want to avoid the potential for things to go awry, choose someone in your life that you don't secretly harbor feelings for or see a future with. It allows you to stay present and in the moment of not wanting anything more.

3.Set Rules and Expectations

Yes, rules. You two may decide that you will only sleep with each other or maybe you've decided that you aren't allowed to question the other about anything that does not involve the two of you, while others have a "no cuddling" or "no sleeping over" rule. The rules or expectations that you set are not one size fits all and will be determined by the individuals involved in the friends with benefits relationship but in a situation like this, it is always a good idea to set some rules and try your best to follow them. Boundaries are beautiful.

4.Stay Safe

Even if you two agreed to only sleep with each other, let's be honest, things happen in the heat of the moment and people aren't always comfortable being upfront about them. You two are not in a committed relationship so that person may not necessarily feel obligated to divulge that information to you. Your safety is literally up to you and only you. Take care of yourself and make sure that safe sex is of the utmost priority in your relationship.

5.No Catching Feelings

Whew...this one is easier said than done but if this thing is going nowhere but the bedroom, it has to be done for your own sake. Of course, feelings and matters of the heart often don't care what the mind tells them but, it's important to at least keep them in check. You signed up for a strictly friends with benefits situation so that means no asking him who that was that texted him the last time you were over at 1 in the morning and certainly no catching an attitude because you didn't like the comment that some chick left under his latest Instagram post. You're there for one thing and one thing only, so you have to operate accordingly. And that goes for the both of you. Stay in your lane.

Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!

Featured image by Shutterstock

A Black woman in a white bathrobe with a white towel wrapped around her head smiles

With a YouTube channel that boasts millions of views from her hair and skincare tutorials, beauty influencer Candice Jones knows what it takes to look great on the outside. But when it came to her mental wellbeing, Jones started feeling a disconnect. “Because a lot of the things that I was seeing on social media like: take a bath, pour you some wine,” Jones tells xoNecole about her initial attempts at self-care. “I was doing all of those aesthetic things, but it wasn't making me feel better.”

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
We Are Still Under SZA's CTRL

This month, SZA released the deluxe version of her debut album CTRL in observance of the fifth year anniversary of the album’s release. Featuring previously unreleased tracks, including an alternate version of “Love Galore,” which fans got an opportunity to hear during one of the Grammy-winning singer’s live performances, the revamped collection of songs has given fans a chance to reflect on life when the album first came out vs. now.

Keep reading...Show less
This Full-Time Content Creator Went From Making $15 An Hour To Six Figures In A Year

Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.

Full-time content creator Yvette Corinne has made waves in the content creation space. On the outside looking in, while some might feel like you have to have hundreds of thousands of followers in order to make a full-time living as an influencer, Yvette has managed to bring in six figures with a highly engaged Instagram community of more than 24,000 followers. And how did she do it? Well, her journey to wealth wasn't one without struggle. The Los Angeles-based micro-influencer got her start in content creation through blogging in 2016. That would lead to her growing her following on Instagram, which allowed her to balance her part-time retail job with being a part-time content creator.

Keep reading...Show less
Taraji P. Henson Wants A ‘Stress-Free’ Life After 50

Taraji P. Henson has been putting work in Hollywood for decades before finally getting her flowers after she landed her most beloved role as Loretha “Cookie” Lyon on Fox’s Empire. Before Empire, however, she starred in the cult classic Baby Boy in 2001, the 2005 film Hustle & Flow, and the 2008 film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button where she claimed she only made $40,000 and starred in many other roles. She has also released her own natural hair care line TPH by Taraji in 2020.

Keep reading...Show less
The Dating Trends Defining The Way We Date This Summer

The only thing constant in life is change and if these past couple of years have shown us nothing else, it’s that life be life-ing. Amid the pandemic, we saw (and continue to see) a lot of change in the way we lead our lives. It shifted the way we work, the way we approached our health and lifestyles, and the way we dated. This year is shaping up to display change in a different way, as many of us enter a season of a new normal and adapt to dating trends that better mirror who and how we are today. The weather is heating up and so is the potential for romance, as once again, we are shedding our homebody ways and radiating big “we outside” energy.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
A Black woman looks into the camera and gives a closed-mouth smile. She's wearing a black turtleneck

Miss Diddy Kicks Off BET Awards Weekend With 'A Toast To Black Hollywood'

Her annual event to celebrate the culture has a new name and more intention than ever before

Latest Posts