8 Types Of Relationships You Might Find Yourself In Throughout Life
When it comes to finding the right relationship, most of us know that there's trial and error involved in finding the right fit. There's truth to the saying, "You don't know until you try." And while some of us have firm "absolutely nots" to what we won't tolerate, others of us rely on the learning curve that comes with kissing a few frogs before finding the love that loves us back the way we deserve to be loved. Luckily, these days we live in a world where thankfully the types of relationships we have are as varied and multilayered as we are.
On our site, we've covered things like attachment styles and love languages that can predicate how we navigate the relationships we maintain and acquire. So it should be of no surprise that just like there are different strokes for different folks, there are different types of relationships we can have in life too. Below are 8 different relationship types and what they entail.
The Closed Relationship Type
Most of us are most familiar with the closed relationship type, referred to more commonly as "monogamous". As its name suggests, the relationship is "closed", meaning the two people involved agree to love each other and commit to being with only one another exclusively. Partners involved indulge in one another and refrain from doing things in the relationship that threaten the sanctity of their relationship, whatever those relationship boundaries entail.
Given the distrust and infidelity that runs rampant in exclusive relationships, a lot of people against this traditional relationship type feel that it is unnatural, believing that eventually closed relationships leads to feeling suffocated, trapped, or stifled. And what do people do when they feel like they are in a cage? They rebel. Hence, cheating. Still, it's a style that is upheld for a reason and when done right, there's no doubt that there is beauty in longevity and exclusivity if that's the drum beat you wish to march to. And one that's boundaries you respect.
The Open Relationship Type
Relationships like polyamorous relationships or throuples are considered to be open relationships and are the opposite of the previously mentioned closed relationship. In open relationships, the people involved are non-exclusive and are usually sexually non-monogamous. People in open relationships often create their own rules for what the boundaries of their relationship type is so no one open relationship looks exactly the same.
For example, the people involved can decide to be swingers and invite new partners into the bedroom and only engage in sexual activity together. They could also indulge in individual relationships outside of each other, regarding one another as the primary partner, but keeping the door open (oh, puns) to other connections, be it emotional, physical or both. Those examples are just the tip of what an open relationship could look like as there can be different kinds of relationships that fall underneath the open relationship umbrella.
The Dominant-Submissive Relationship Type
Sure, our perception of what a dominant-submissive relationship type might have gotten a little muddled with the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise (cue the eyeroll), but in reality, it's a relationship type that is out here alive and well. And why wouldn't it be? Whips and chains are exciting. However, despite all of the emphasis on sex, a dom-sub relationship is more than the props we're used to seeing. This relationship revolves around one dominant (i.e. sadist) partner and one submissive partner (i.e. masochist). As with any relationship, this partnership comes with its own rules and roles and can be applied to multiple areas of life.
The dominant partner's role is to lead, protect, and act as a guide to the submissive. Conversely, the sub's role is to fulfill the desires of their master, whatever that may be. While it can extend to sex, but the relationship is more so centered on roles and respecting rules that are in place that in turn shows respect to your partner. To learn more about the different roles of BDSM relationships, Lelo has an article you should check out here.
The Codependent Relationship Type
Taking people-pleasing to the next level is people in the codependent relationship type. Signs of a codependent relationship include unhealthy clinginess, planning your life around pleasing the other person, relying on another person for your sense of self, and being a love addict. The relationships itself are characterized as being dysfunctional, emotionally destructive and/or one-sided.
Oftentimes, the giver in the relationship has an anxious attachment style and the taker in the codependent relationship enables the giver's addiction, immaturity, irresponsibility, and/or mental health issues. In all cases, the partners act in a host parasite relationship where the partners need to feel needed by each other.
The Interdependent Relationship Type
The interdependent relationship is perhaps the relationship type we all should aspire to cultivate no matter what the relationship style we are in. What is an interdependent relationship, you ask? Interdependent relationships consist of two fully realized individuals with their own goals, their own dreams, their own hobbies, and ambitions who come together to form a relationship that they pour into but it isn't the epicenter of their existence as beings. Instead, they act as each other's complement.
In these relationships, both partners thrive in a relationship that allows them to be themselves without sacrificing who they are or their identities. Whereas codependent relationships are too reliant on the partner and independent relationships are not reliant enough, interdependent relationships represent the perfect balance between both extremes as it relates to partnerships.
The Long-Distance Relationship Type
Long-distance relationship types are characterized by partners being separated by distance. The romantic relationship unfolds like most other relationship types but sometimes blossoms at full throttle due to the nature of the relationship revolving more around the emotional connection and intimacy outside of the physical.
The distance and the length of the relationship being an LDR vary from couple to couple, but there is typically a lack of in-person face-to-face time. Long-distance relationships tend to work best with individuals who are securely attached but there are a bevy of articles that focus on ways couples in long-distance relationships can make things work, including one from our site: "We Spoke To Three Couples About What It Takes To Make Long-Distance Relationships Work".
The Casual Relationship Type
Casual relationships are relationships that are physical (and sometimes emotional) but typically comes without the expectation of an exclusive or more formal relationship. It has all of the traits of a relationship but without the commitment, which is often the allure in these types of relationships. People are able to get their physical and emotional needs met without putting in the energy and the effort required of a traditional closed relationship.
A casual relationship can encompass casual dating, friends with benefits, hook-ups, one-night stands, f*ck buddies, situationships, etc. Usually, casual relationships are one-sided with one person wanting more from the situation than the other is willing to give, which causes a lot of issues with the viability of this relationship style. For that reason, they are often short-lived. If you have to ask, "Where are we going?" to the person in your life, 7 times out of 10, it's probably just casual boo.
The Toxic Relationship
Chiiiile, I don't even have to ask anyone to raise their hand for this one. Given the fact that in life and love, it's not abnormal to repeat behaviors we've seen from our elders, we tend to find ourselves in relationships that match dysfunction. Often, toxic relationships don't begin toxic but can become toxic as boundaries are repeatedly crossed and respect goes out the window. Dishonesty occurs, there is a lack of trust, an influx of jealousy, controlling behaviors, and resent among a host of other dysfunctional characteristics.
Toxicity is something that can lend itself to our relationships with family, with friends, and with our work life just as intensely as it can our romantic relationships. The relationships are plagued with unfathomable highs but also debilitating lows and the person riding that roller coaster can become comfortable with the chaos and not seek better for themselves. However, it is important to find and maintain healthy relationships in your life and not be afraid to leave situations when they are no longer serving you.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
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Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images