

These days, dating someone and making the decision to commit can be trickier than we anticipated, for both men and women. In this day and age, it's a lot different than the cute folded piece of paper you pass in grade school checking the 'Yes' or 'No' box answering the question, "Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?" We can also agree that the type of title we want for our relationships have changed over time too. How we go about titles are way more fluid and is now based on preferences, lifestyles, and honestly to protect ourselves from past experiences. But, it is still a fact that titles are alive and well and they mean something to all of us.
I know, for me, as a woman, I like titles for my relationships. I am not ashamed to say that I have had my moments saying these exact words, "So, what are we?" But what do you do when the guy you are dating is not on board with the title train? While I can assume all day why a guy would not want to put a title on it, I decided to talk to the source. I asked twelve of my brothas from far and wide to answer a few questions on titles and get to the bottom of why committing to a woman is something that is or isn't on the agenda.
Disclaimer: For the sake of privacy, some men have asked to stay anonymous for this interview.
What does it mean when a guy says he “doesn’t like titles” to a woman he’s dating?
Donaray, 31 – "For me, I would know. If I like a woman, I would give myself the proper space to get to know her. So even if a guy says he doesn't like titles or doesn't know if he wants to commit, subconsciously, he knows. Us men genuinely don't want to play around with a woman's emotions. If you put a title on things too early and it doesn't play out well, it's almost like playing with someone's emotions. So saying 'I don't want to put a title to it' is like a safety precaution."
Anonymous, 30 – "Some people really just don't like titles. The guy could be ready for a relationship but feels that titles get in the way. He may be coming from [the fact] that he doesn't need the title of 'boyfriend' to treat a woman special or a certain type of way. That may just not be his thing."
Mike, 32 – "I think when a guy says he doesn't like titles, it can mean he wants to keep his options open. Some people do not believe in commitment, but they want the benefits of a relationship without having to commit. Past examples of how they view love can play a factor into that."
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"I think when a guy says he doesn't like titles, it can mean he wants to keep his options open. Some people do not believe in commitment, but they want the benefits of a relationship without having to commit. Past examples of how they view love can play a factor into that."
Has there ever been a point in your life where you weren’t into giving titles to a relationship?
BK, 28 – "When I've said it, I think I just wasn't ready. I wasn't ready because I just had no idea what putting a title on it actually meant. I didn't know what I would be signing up for, so I wasn't going to be successful. I would've automatically started to get into something haphazardly. Growing up, I understood relationships from what I saw on TV. The guy is doing everything he can to make the girl happy. Not really thinking about how miserable that must be for the guy. So I'm thinking, if I'm spending all this time and money just to keep her happy, then at what point do I get poured into? It just messed up my perception. Now I know, relationships are built on beautiful moments, even the small ones."
Steven, 29 – "I'm a guy that wears his heart on his sleeve. If I want to be with somebody, I am actively saying I want this commitment and I want there to be a title with it. There was a time when I was dating a woman and I wasn't ready to make it official at that time. I didn't specifically say I didn't want a title. When she told me that she wanted me to be her boyfriend, I didn't say 'no' but I didn't say 'yes'. I kind of brushed it off."
Cory, 32 – "When I was younger, if you asked me to put a title on a relationship, I would get freaked out. I had trust issues and I didn't want anyone to hurt me. I wasn't ready mentally and I had insecurities. I felt a title would add more pressure where I have to do everything right and I can't make any mistakes."
How do you feel about titles when it comes to your own relationship?
BK, 28 – "I think a monogamous marriage is in my wheelhouse just as much as an open relationship or life partner. I'm not big on possession. I feel like titles at times creates this idea that 'you're mine, you belong to me.' Honestly, I don't ever want to feel like I belong to anyone. I believe people should be experienced and titles, when used as a mandate, cuts you off from getting to know people that could really make an impact in your life."
Jeremy, 26 – "I don't have a problem with titles for my relationship. I actually prefer it that way. I feel most men, if they are really interested in a woman, they wouldn't have a problem with titles. The same way women do not want us out here talking to anybody else, we feel the same exact way about the woman that we like."
Hasani, 28 – "I'm not a huge proponent on titles. It's because of the expectations that comes with it. Once that title is reached, sometimes the flow of the relationship doesn't continue. I believe everything has to flow naturally and not forcing anything by putting a title on it. But I understand people need that for reassurance."
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"Honestly, I don't ever want to feel like I belong to anyone. I believe people should be experienced and titles, when used as a mandate, cuts you off from getting to know people that could really make an impact in your life."
Why do you think a title might be important to the overall flow of a healthy relationship?
Donaray, 31 – "Titles define things. There's no ambiguity when there's a title. There's a lot of mystery without a title and people don't deserve that. It's a busy world out here, where we gotta deal with so much stuff. Why would I want to deal with bullshit in my intimate connections too by not putting a title on it?"
DeAndre, 29 – "I honestly don't think it is important. If there is a mutual understanding of how you feel towards that person, I don't think you need that. If I had to put value on titles, it helps people know who they are to someone. People have ideas of what a girlfriend or boyfriend is. My idea of what a boyfriend is could be different from your idea of what that is. So if we have clear communication upfront, I don't see the point in a title."
Rashaun, 27 – "I think for some people titles brings that clarity. Titles can help set a precedence and lets the people involved establish a direction that the relationship is going. Titles also come with the obligation of trying to make the other person happy. But in a relationship, yes you can contribute to someone's happiness, but in its essence, it is not your job to make your partner happy. You still have to be individuals, whether you have a title or not."
Does a title make or break a relationship?
Sean, 28 – "I think for some people not putting a title on something allows you more room for error. I can mess up more or the other person can mess up and I'm telling myself that I won't be as hurt because we don't have a title. But that's not reality. Feelings are still going to develop and you can build as many walls as you can. You are still affected by that person's actions regardless if there is a title."
Anonymous, 30 – "A title is powerful, but a title alone doesn't hold weight. It's really about the connection you have. Look at real estate, you have titles or deeds on a house. You can get the title to the house, that's cool. But if the foundation isn't solid and the floors are uneven or there's cracks in the concrete, you get an idea of how much love was put into it. A title is just a word to me. It's about the love that's put into the relationship that's important, before the title."
Steven, 29 – "Titles can put a level of pressure on your relationship. But from my perspective, I don't mind a title because I date with intention. Even after my divorce, I still desire a strong relationship with a title. I think a title can make your relationship with the right person and break your relationship with the wrong person."
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"A title is powerful, but a title alone doesn't hold weight. It's really about the connection you have. Look at real estate, you have titles or deeds on a house. You can get the title to the house, that's cool. But if the foundation isn't solid and the floors are uneven or there's cracks in the concrete, you get an idea of how much love was put into it. A title is just a word to me. It's about the love that's put into the relationship that's important, before the title."
What do you think is the most important attribute that calls you to invest in a relationship with a woman, giving her the title/commitment?
BK, 28 – "I think energy because you can recognize this is a person you can talk to and have fun with. Whether that's on a date or just in the crib tweakin'. Having the opportunity to date someone that's just as fun as you are is a great feeling."
Sean, 28 – "I like consistency and a woman who is considerate. I look at the potential and if you are willing to learn more with growth."
Donaray, 31 – "I look for the message a woman carries in the world. That's important to me because that same message is what's going to be passed down to my child. I look for a woman that would be a good teacher for my children."
Anonymous, 29 – "I like a woman that can control the room. She can walk in and it's all eyes on her. She brings a confidence and humble energy with her. That's an attribute I pay attention to."
Anonymous, 30 – "I like a woman that listens to me to truly understand me versus coming up with her own assumptions of who I am. That is super attractive."
Chuks, 29 – "Given that relationships are huge investments, I carefully study who to invest with; if I don't see myself building a future with a lady, I don't bother wasting her time and mine playing games."
Steven, 29 – "I like a faith-driven and independent woman. A woman who doesn't need me to do everything for her. A woman that can handle her own is super sexy to me."
Jeremy, 26 – "I look at a woman's moral compass. Finding someone with a similar moral compass as mine, it tells you so much about their character."
Cory, 32 – "I'm not a guy that asks for a whole lot. As long as a woman is confident in who she is and she has goals for herself, then I'm with it."
Hasani, 28 – "For me, the most important thing is being present. My love language is quality time, so being there and being considerate about what I go through and giving me what I need is super big."
Rashaun, 27 – "I honestly don't know. I have been dating with intent, but that one specific thing that gives me that feeling, I haven't come across that yet. What I am usually attracted to is a woman who is hospitable and who is open-minded."
DeAndre, 29 – "The same thing I am looking for in a wife. Someone I can build and grow with. Someone that can be a partner and keep our goals alive, whether I'm here on this earth or not."
Mike, 32 – "Definitely a woman that is driven to work towards something. I also like to see a woman that has a strong sense of community. I'm a social person, so I need someone who also appreciates building something much bigger than yourself."
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'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Here's What Astrology Can Reveal About Your Relationship With Your Mother
Astrology is gaining new popularity with many beginning to acknowledge what our ancestors have realized for civilizations - that astrology can reveal an awful lot about our lives, our personalities, and our psyches. Sure, we're all pretty familiar with the personality types of certain signs, but did you know that astrology can also reveal insights about your relationships with certain people? Specifically, your moon sign can shed a ton of light on your relationship with your mother, for better and for worse!
Are you and your mother thick as thieves, or is your relationship with her strained? Can you tell her your deepest and darkest secrets, or do you find it difficult to be yourself around your mother? Are you the apple of your mother's eye, or do you feel like you were never able to really please her?
Knowing your moon sign can reveal a lot about the way you view the person who brought you into this world.
If you do not know your full birth chart, find your moon sign here and then check out the information below to get a glimpse inside of your and your mom's emotional dynamic.
What Your Moon Sign Can Reveal About Your Relationship with Your Mother
I. Moon In Aries:
If your moon is in Aries, your mom is the leader of her household. Growing up, you viewed her as brave, bold and fun-loving. She was fiery and knew exactly how to put others in their place, if needed. You respect her, but may have found her to be overbearing at times.
II. Moon In Taurus:
If your moon is in Taurus, your mom knew how to tend to all your creature comforts. She expressed love through food and the material nourishment she provided to you. She was a very hands-on, affectionate mother but also extremely headstrong and stubborn. Not the best at negotiating, your mom wants things to go her way or the highway!
III. Moon In Gemini:
If your moon is in Gemini, your mom is extremely expressive and intelligent. You felt most connected to her through words and your stimulating conversations with her. Her behavior, at times, seemed unreliable to you, but you admired her on an intellectual level. Always moving, you probably felt like she was difficult to pin down as a child.
IV. Moon In Cancer:
If your moon is in Cancer, you are the apple of your mother's eye. You love and care for her deeply. In fact, sometimes you served as a mother to her - comforting her and constantly expressing your understanding of her emotionally. You are extremely close - sometimes too close. Your mom tends to err on the clingy, over-mothering side.
Growing up, you sometimes felt like you needed more emotional and physical space from her. You share a psychic connection with your mother - it's easy for you to take on her emotions and moods as your own, for better and for worse.
V. Moon In Leo:
If your moon is in Leo, your mother has always been a large presence in your life. Growing up, you felt a pressure to present yourself a certain way in order to preserve your mother's reputation. You felt that the way you looked and behaved was a direct representation of your mom, so you had to stay sharp! Your mom was potentially someone of public note, someone that many people in your neighborhood or community knew very well.
VI. Moon In Virgo:
If your moon is in Virgo, you love your mother dearly and would move mountains for her. You are extremely protective and defensive of her. Your mother is your world. Though you've always needed her deeply, you sometimes felt like she was unable to be there for you in the ways that you yearned for. You've been aware of her shortcomings since birth; otherwise, you would have found her to be very nitpicking and critical of you.
VII. Moon In Libra:
Growing up, your mother was known for her attractiveness, fashion-sense, her ability to throw a fun party and the beautiful way in which she kept her home. If your moon is in Libra, it is likely that your mother was popular for her congenial and pleasant personality. Erring toward the formal and structured in your relationship, you've learned to establish specific roles in each other's lives, making sure not to over-step them in order to maintain peace and a sense of fairness between you both.
VIII. Moon In Scorpio:
Your mother has affected you in deep and profound ways; deeper than she or you may even realize. If your moon is in Scorpio, your relationship has gone through major transformations through the years. You've felt that she was, at times, out of tune with your emotions.
You wished and expected that she would be able to intuitively understand you. When she didn't, you may have felt somewhat abandoned by her.
IX. Moon In Sagittarius:
If your moon is in Sagittarius, you've always required freedom in life. If your mother respected this, you both enjoyed a fun-loving and adventurous relationship together. If she did not fully respect your desire for freedom, you may have felt unfairly held back or restricted growing up. Wise beyond your years, you may have perceived her to be immature and naive, learning to rely on your own judgement rather than hers.
X. Moon In Capricorn:
If your moon is in Capricorn, your mother has always been more concerned with the serious matters of life. She viewed you as mature and knew she could rely on you for support and sound judgment. Self-sacrificing, she always put work before play and constantly had tons on her plate. You sometimes wondered why she worked so hard and why she didn't take an easier approach to life. She held extremely high standards for you growing up. Favorably, she pushed you to be ambitious in pursuing your goals.
XI. Moon In Aquarius:
If your moon is in Aquarius, you've always viewed her as more of a peer than a parent. Being chastised by her felt unnatural and foreign to you - almost silly! Parenting was unconventional - you did not have the typical parent-child dynamic. You were raised to be emotionally self-sufficient and didn't rely on her for an overly emotional or affectionate relationship.
XII. Moon In Pisces:
If your moon is in Pisces, you share an extremely intuitive bond with your mother. You often took on her burdens and emotions as your own. You were extremely sympathetic to the things she went through in life and were mindful not to add anything else to her plate. You felt like her caretaker in certain ways. You loved her extremely deeply and would fight for her. You are keenly aware of all of the sacrifices she's made in life for you. You wish you were able to rely on her more as a child, and may have felt like you had to grow up much quicker than you would have liked.
What's your moon sign, and how would you describe your relationship with your mother?
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Originally published on May 7, 2021