How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Latasha Stevens and DeAngelo Wright are Black love #goals.
The marketing/brand manager and the realtor/CEO are fairly new to love, the couple build together, travel together, and of course, love together. They are a testament to the fact that when love is true, it is not something you're unsure or hesitant about. In fact, you put a ring on it.
Their one-year anniversary trip to Los Cabos, Mexico was one for the books and was punctuated even further by DeAngelo popping the question and the pair subsequently solidifying their love story together. He had been wanting to ask her to marry him for months but waited to ask her over dinner while in Mexico with a couple that they met there in a moment that felt right. "When the champagne arrived, I looked at the love of my life, tapped the glass with my fork, and ordered her to stand up while I demanded everyone's attention in the restaurant," he recalled.
"I had no speech prepared and spoke straight from the heart. Even though I was so nervous that I dropped the ring twice (laughs), I still managed to clearly and directly express to her how I felt right before hearing her say 'yes' before I could even finish. It was perfect and surreal! She wants to be my Mrs. Wright!"
Falling in love wasn't something either of them anticipated when their paths crossed when they met last September, but it's added value and color to their lives in the most unexpected ways. Being engaged and getting married (their wedding is set for early 2020) are just the beginning for the future Mr. and Mrs. Wright. "It's an amazing feeling knowing that your prayers have been answered...not just about getting married in general but getting married to someone who loves you unconditionally, accepts every flaw, recognizes your worth, and treats you like a Queen," Latasha shared. "Now that we are engaged, it proves the growth in our love...that we are ready to take the next steps in spending the rest of our lives with each other, starting a family, and building a legacy for our future. It just got real real!"
Today, DeAngelo, 33, and Latasha, 29 share how they met, first impressions, first dates, being a blended family, and navigating their love together. This is their story.
First Impressions
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: DeAngelo and I met on Labor Day of 2017 (Sept. 4th, 2017). I was invited to a boat party at Lake Lanier last minute by my friend Aricca. Honestly, I wasn't really checking for DeAngelo. I saw him but honestly I assumed he was with one of the other females on the boat... At that time, I wasn't really looking for love. I had finally let go and released my emotions and ties from someone in my past who wasn't meant for me while going through the struggles of dating in Atlanta. I was at a point in my life where I wanted to focus on living my best life and I was genuinely having a good time with my friends on the boat. I didn't have any exceptions or feel forced trying to meet a guy.
DeAngelo: We met at a yacht party that my friend Trey had. I was not looking for love at the time. [I] wasn't looking for anything but qualities I wanted in a partner were for them to be easy on the eyes, for them to be intelligent, for them to be ambitious, and for them to be family-oriented. I thought that [Latasha] was beautiful and very interesting.
First Date
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: Our first date was at the movies and I remember getting there on time while I waited for him to show up. A few minutes turned into 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. And I was so mad that he showed up late. I kinda went off on him and told him that if we're going to see each other, he has to value my time. I definitely had a 'tude that day (laughs). He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, apologized for showing up late, and promised he wouldn't do it again.
DeAngelo: Our first date was at Studio Movie Grill in Marietta. She was mad at me at first because I was late, but I guess she forgave me after I smiled at her. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was down to earth and easy to talk to. The date was awesome.
Making It Official
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: We wanted to commit to a relationship because we didn't want anything to stand in the way of us building a future together. We shared a very intellectual connection and we felt like we knew each other longer than we had. I had never experienced this type of love from a man before so I knew that I wanted to hold on to what we had. I would say within three months of us dating, we decided to become official.
DeAngelo: I wanted to commit to a relationship with her for one because she could cook her ass off (laughs). Also, I just fell in love with how simply amazing she was. She never was over the top or extra. Naturally beautiful inside and out. I also loved the way we communicated and even in difficult conversations we always seemed to find common ground.
"We shared a very intellectual connection and we felt like we knew each other longer than we had. I had never experienced this type of love from a man before so I knew that I wanted to hold on to what we had."
Blended Family
DeAngelo: I definitely approached dating cautiously because I didn't want someone to build a relationship with my daughter if it wasn't going to be for long-term. I believe at first she was hesitant because it's plenty more men out there without children and [she might've thought] that she could possibly find a guy as great as me without a child. One foot in for her and one foot out, but eventually she fell in love with the both of us!
Latasha: Once I witnessed how great of a father and how involved he was in his daughter's life, it actually made me like him even more. However, like any female would want to know, I had to make sure there wasn't any 'baby mama' drama. I can honestly say that I have never had to worry about that with him and his child's mother. It was clear that their relationship was completely over and they did whatever they had to do to co-parent and make it easy for their daughter. I was also reassured after meeting her a couple of times and it was nothing but respect and good vibes. DeAngelo just wanted to make sure that whoever he brought his daughter around will grow to love and accept her with open arms.
The One
Latasha's Instagram
Latasha: I knew it was love when I started to accepted my flaws and really be myself in the relationship. DeAngelo accepted every flaw and loved me more that I could ever imagine. He never judged me and always expressed his love for me no matter what while accepting me for who I was and vice versa. Despite our flaws, I loved and accepted him at his best and worst. I never have to beg for his attention and he doesn't hesitate in telling me how beautiful I am everyday or doing thoughtful, spontaneous things for me. It's those little things that make me feel special and truly loved.
DeAngelo: I knew it was love because I thought I was in love before from past relationships but this one was different. What I mean by that is that even at intense disagreements, we still had each other's best interest [at heart] and even in tough times, we both were willing to fight for our unity. She just had so many characteristics that I've always desired in a partner. My favorite thing about her is her mind. To me, she is so smart and intelligently sexy!
Love Work
DeAngelo: The biggest challenge I had to get through individually was when I started my own business. Financially, it was tough because I could not do for her the things I would have if I had it like that. As a couple, the biggest challenge was to communicate at a higher level no matter how difficult in order to overcome battles we dealt with alone. Now because we share everything, we are able to effectively accommodate and support each other through them.
Latasha: The biggest challenge that I had to overcome independently was my selfishness. I have never been in a long-term committed relationship before so my focus evolved around me (laughs). I pretty much was ingrained to do things for myself because I didn't have anyone else to depend on. When DeAngelo came into my life, it was so different for me, but in a good way. He has such big heart and did things for me that I was not used to. The biggest challenge we had to overcome together was our work-life balance. We both are very driven, hard-working people that put a lot of our time and energy into what we love to do career-wise...but when we started dating, it was a little bit of a challenge to step away from work to make time for each other. We realized that it was worth the sacrifice and that it is completely healthy to have a balance to do what you love and do things with the ones you love.
"As a couple, the biggest challenge was to communicate at a higher level, no matter how difficult, in order to overcome battles we dealt with alone. Now because we share everything, we are able to effectively accommodate and support each other through them."
Love Lessons
Latasha's Instagram
DeAngelo: I've learned that it's best to love your partner as if you're loving yourself. Anything less would be selfish. Also, I've learned that true love is a feeling that adds value to life. No matter what you got going on in life, it's an amazing and fulfilling feeling when you have someone with you through the good and the bad!
Latasha: I've learned that love is an ACTION. We can say we love each other all day long but if we are not doing anything to express our love for each other in a positive way, then there's no real substance behind it. I do things out of love for DeAngelo because he deserves it and my actions speaks sacrifice, effort, and going above and beyond to make him feel appreciated, respected, loved, and special.
"I've learned that love is an ACTION. We can say we love each other all day long but if we are not doing anything to express our love for each other in a positive way, then there's no real substance behind it."
Keep up with Latasha and DeAngelo by following them on Instagram.
RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
Riska/Getty Images
1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
Riska/Getty Images
19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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