I remember my first orgasm like it was yesterday. Similar to how you never forget your first kiss, you always remember your first orgasm. It is cemented in your memory forever. My first orgasm was the most magical thing I’ve ever experienced. I literally saw the heavens open and heard angels singing from up above. Up until that point orgasms were like seeing a good Madea movie, I heard they existed but I ain’t never seen one. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the issue. I was having plenty of sex but the Big O I kept hearing so much about kept bypassing me.
It wasn’t until I learned about my body and what turned me on that I experienced my first orgasm; it was a clitoral orgasm. Penis alone rarely got the job done for me, I always needed some type of clitoral stimulation and according to research, I wasn’t alone. About 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. The clitoris is composed of 8,000 nerve endings, which is about 2,000 more than the tip of the penis, plus it is the only organ in the human body designed purely for pleasure. So, it makes all the sense in the world that most women would need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. It’s how our bodies are designed.
But wait, there’s more! Did you know that in addition to clitoral, there are 11 different types of orgasms that women can experience? You could literally attempt to have a different type of orgasm every day for almost two weeks without repeating one. Some orgasms solely focus on the vagina while others allow you to feel pleasure in ways you never knew existed. Why limit yourself when you can taste all the colors of the orgasmic rainbow?
From clitoral orgasms to nipple orgasms and all the places in between, here are all the kinds of orgasms the female body is capable of.
1.G-spot orgasm:
G-spot orgasms are the most coveted orgasm of them all yet not always the easiest to experience. The G-spot is located about two to three inches inside the vagina and feels a little bit spongy. Pressing this spot gently and stroking it lightly is the best way to stimulate this area. When sexually aroused, the G-spot will fill with blood and swell up with fluid. Touching it in a way that feels good to you with fingers, your partner's penis (or strap), a dildo, or a vibrator can trigger what many women describe as deeply intense, that in most cases trigger squirting.
2.A-spot orgasm:
The Anterior Fornix Orgasm aka “second G-spot” is located above the cervix and is achieved by deep penetration. About four to five inches in the vagina is sensitive tissue near the inner front end of the vaginal tube. This area generally does not become too sensitive after orgasm so it can be continued to be stimulated.
3.U-spot orgasm:
This kind of female orgasm comes from stimulating a small area of sensitive erectile tissue located on either side of the urethral opening. It is in the small area between the urethra and the vagina. This spot can be stimulated with the tongue, fingers, or tip of the penis or dildo.
4.Nipple orgasm:
Did you know that most women can climax if their nipples are stimulated properly? Nipples are major erogenous zones; they're loaded with nerve endings and super-sensitive skin. When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is released, which causes the same vaginal contractions associated with orgasm. This brings more blood flow to the genitals and can trigger an orgasm.
5.Anal orgasm:
I know that most of us have our reservations when it comes to anal sex; but, if done properly, a butt orgasm can be just as powerful as a clitoral one. Because the anus and rectum are so close to the vagina and clitoris—and are connected by a thin stretch of tissue called the perineum—they share many of the same nerves and muscles, including the pelvic floor muscle. The pelvic floor muscle is highly sensitive for many women, and stimulating it can trigger a vaginal orgasm. All that’s needed is a lot of preparation and tons of lube!
6.Blended orgasm:
A blended orgasm is like ‘the best of both worlds.' It’s a climax that happens when more than one erogenous zone is being stimulated at the same time. G-spot penetration along with clitoral stimulation is one way to experience a blended orgasm, but it could also come from vaginal penetration along with clitoral, nipple, or anal stimulation.
7.Coregasm:
Coregasms are orgasms that are triggered by exercise. It isn’t one of the toe-curling, mind-blowing orgasms you read about in books either. Although this is something I’ve never experienced, a study from Indiana University found that 370 of 530 women surveyed had experienced orgasm or sexual pleasure while working out, usually from core-based exercises.
8.Sleep-gasm ("snore-gasm"):
The sheer power of the brain means that anyone can orgasm while they sleep. Orgasms happen in the brain, and the brain is quite active at night. In your sleep, your mind can freely explore your sexual fantasies without feeling rushed or judged. This can turn you on so much that you can end up having an orgasm without even touching yourself.
9.Cervical orgasm:
Also known as a “c-spot orgasm” involves nerve endings located in the cervix and around the uterus. Cervical orgasms are best achieved during deep vaginal penetration such as doggy-style. Cervical orgasms have been reported as very intense, full-body orgasms that begin in the cervix and spread through the entire abdomen or even the whole body.
10. Kissing orgasm:
According to the Kama Sutra, passionate kissing can spark an orgasm for both men and women. It states that a woman’s mouth mirrors her genitals, with the lips like the labia, the cupid’s bow like the clitoris, and the roof of the mouth like the G-spot. Our lips are also full of nerve endings, similar to the nipples and the clitoris. The roof of the mouth is said to be one of the most neglected erogenous zones, so by gently rubbing and flicking it with your tongue, it has the potential to stimulate an orgasm.
11. Multiple orgasms:
Not to be confused with blended orgasms, multiple orgasms are orgasms that happen one right after the other, with no prolonged stopping in between. These are more common in women and less common in men. Many people find multiple orgasms easier to achieve with a partner because they find it difficult to continue stimulation on their own after one orgasm.
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Since turning 30, three years ago, I have been on a journey of self-improvement and healing. During this time, I've adopted daily practices like meditation, journaling, and speaking affirmations over my life. I also began reading spiritual and self-help books like The Alchemist and The Mountain Is You.
These tools have changed my life drastically as I have become more self-confident and developed more self-love. Lately, one of my go-to's for a spiritual boost is listening to podcasts. There are so many podcasts to choose from nowadays, and they aren't created equally.
However, if you're looking for a podcast that speaks to your soul and helps you in your personal development, then check out the 10 podcasts below.
Balanced Black Girl
Balanced Black Girl is a podcast focusing on personal development, self-care, and more. Hosted by Les, adding this podcast to your list is a great start to developing better habits.
Take Back Your Mind
Take Back Your Mind is a podcast by Agape Church founder and pastor Michael B. Beckwith. This podcast touches on various topics like spirituality, purpose, mindfulness, and more.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty features many guests, from Big Sean to former First Lady Michelle Obama, as they open up about their tips for success and biggest life lessons.
Keep It Positive, Sweetie
Sistas actress Crystal Renee Hayslett created the Keep It Positive, Sweetie podcast, which hones in on discussions like family, second chances, and the art of submission.
Diary of A CEO
Diary of A CEO is more than a business podcast. It highlights many conversations like how to sleep better, the benefits of fasting, and how to reduce toxins in your body.
Being Her
Margarita Nazarenko has built a loyal fanbase on social media from her straight, no-chaser advice on dating, and recently, she launched a podcast called Being Her. The podcast digs a little deeper into feminine energy, manifestation, and, of course, dating.
Healed Girl Era
Gia Peppers hosts the Healed Girl Era podcast, and the name says it all. If you're in your healed girl era or want to get in your healed girl era, then this podcast is for you as Gia and guests tackle topics like self-love and finding your joy.
Super Soul
Oprah's Super Soul podcast features interviews from a wide range of thought leaders in health and wellness, spirituality, and entertainment.
Everybody's Crazy
Everybody's Crazy is hosted by best friends April McDaniel and Savannah James as they open up about their friendship and navigating life. However, their girl talk doesn't shy away from tough conversations like grief and mom guilt and how to overcome it all.
Therapy For Black Girls
Therapy For Black Girls is a mental health podcast hosted by psychologist Dr. Joy Harden Bradford. The podcast covers everything, from dealing with depression to superwoman syndrome.
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