I'm weird. I own that. One of the reasons why I say that because I'm definitely the kind of person whose idea of a good time is chillin' on my couch and reading a book. At the same time, whenever I do go out, I wouldn't exactly call myself a wallflower. Most of my friends trip over how easy it is for me to meet a stranger and have them tell me their entire life story in seven minutes or less.
That's why, if I had to choose between whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert, I'd have to say it's about a 60/40 split in favor of being introverted. Matter of fact, some of the personality tests that I've taken have told me that I am an extroverted introverted. Or, as a recent test revealed, I am an ambivert. What the heck is that? In a nutshell, it's someone who doesn't totally identify with being an extrovert or an introvert; there are things about you that are a spot-on reflection of both.
While, on the surface, it might seem like this relatively new term is indicative of most of the population, a lot of reputable therapists believe that only about 20 percent of the population are true ambiverts. That's because other traits of ambiverts are their nervous system is highly intuitive, they can handle the extremes of various personalities and situations pretty well, and they are relatively good listeners and speakers too.
If in your mind, you're thinking that this sounds more and more like you but you're still not totally sure, I've got five other pretty telling signs that an ambivert is exactly what you are.
5 Signs You're An Ambivert
1.You Love a Good Party—to a Point
I'm the kind of person who can go to a concert or party and not only hang out but entertain those around me for a couple of hours. Then suddenly, without much warning, I'm totally over it and ready to go. It's like the energy got totally sucked out of me and I can't wait to get home and recharge—alone.
If this made you be like "Yeah, me too!" then you just might be an ambivert. Because you're able to cultivate a rapport with those around you, it's hard for you to process people as casual or background noise. You tend to make connections, whether you're looking to or not. That's why, after a little while of being around so many of them, you're ready to bounce.
2.You Hate Small Talk. You're All for Meaningful Conversations.
I can totally relate to this one. Another indicator of being an ambivert is small talk doesn't make much sense to you. That's why, if someone calls you about making plans, you might prefer to text. Or, if someone at the office is saying a lot of nothing, you find yourself getting irritated.
On the other hand, if someone has a real problem or even if you're looking for some advice, you can find yourself chopping it up in a coffee shop for three hours without even noticing the time. Anything that involves emotions, empathy, and growth, you're all about it. Niceties? Not so much.
3.You Can Handle Attention but You'd Prefer to Observe
When you receive a compliment, you say "thank you." When you're selected to present something to the staff at work, you shine. A man you're interested in strikes up a conversation and you're more than capable of holding his attention. What this all boils down to is you're very comfortable with getting attention. But if you had to choose, you'd rather walk into a room and observe people's energy and actions for a while. Some experts define this as being "situational introversion" because while you may enjoy being relatively quiet at a nightclub, you might go to a seminar and be the star of the show.
That's another thing about ambiverts—they lean towards being extroverted in learning environments but oftentimes are pretty introverted anywhere else. They engage growth. Entertainment? They can take it or leave it.
4.You're a Social Equalizer
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Since an ambivert is so good at observing the energy and body language of those around them, they also have the reputation for being the ultimate kind of equalizer. If they are around someone who is super chatty, their ability to listen can help to calm that kind of person down. Or, if they're around someone who is really shy, their desire to make a true connection will help to bring them out of their shell.
For an ambivert, doing this doesn't require a lot of forethought or even effort. It basically comes very naturally to them.
5.You're Drawn to Creative, Counseling or Management Positions
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And just what kind of job would be fitting for an ambivert? Anywhere that having this kind of personality doesn't seem odd or strange. Professions where they are given just the kind of space that they need to thrive.
Off the bat—the solitude that comes from being a creative (or entrepreneur), the empathy that comes along with being a life coach, counselor, or therapist; even the ability to see all sides that comes with being an effective manager or supervisor.
If you've been researching what it means to be an introvert and extrovert for a while now, but this is the first time you've read something that made you feel like you've finally found your fit, congrats! Welcome to the wonderful—and relatively small—world of being a bonafide ambivert.
How's it feel?
How's it feel?
Featured image by Getty Images.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022