Forgiving Her Mom Gave Tiffany Haddish The Closure She Needed
We've learned that it's possible to heal and even rekindle what were once toxic relationships. But what about when the relationship is the one you have with your mother? It's up to you to break generational curses before they break you, and Tiffany Haddish knows this firsthand.
In the past, Tiffany has been candid about her tumultuous relationship with her mom, who was both physically and verbally abusive during her childhood. In a recent Hollywood Unlocked interview with Jason Lee, the actress shared how forgiving her mother provided the potent dose of healing she didn't know she needed. She explained:
"It is a long road, and I'm still working on it--still, every day working on it. But I have to put myself in her shoes. What tools did she have to be the best? Not a lot."
A tragic accident left Tiffany's mom with a life-altering brain injury, turning the life of her entire family upside-down. As a child, Tiffany faced a life in foster care and encounters of abuse from a mother she no longer knew. The actress became a parent to her parent. She described the experience:
"And then when she had that car accident, everything was taken away from her and she had to rebuild. And here I am, an 8-year-old little girl trying to teach her everything that she taught me which might not have been enough for her. Her vocabulary wasn't all together. She had a head injury. It's horrible."
Although Tiffany and her mother have had their issues, the star is focused on putting the past behind her for the sake of her own sanity. According to her, forgiveness has been a reflection of her faith:
"Also, you got to look at it like 'What if the tables are turned?' What if I have children or adopt children and something happens to me and I end up not being the best that I could possibly be. Do I want them to sh*t on me for the rest of my life that I'm here on this earth or do I want them to try their best to treat me as well as they possibly can? And I just feel like do unto others as you want them to do unto you. That's the golden rule in every religion, every Bible, every manner book, treat people the way you want to be treated."
While her mom wasn't always the woman her 8-year-old self needed, Tiffany is working to be a great woman who can empower herself and help her mom. The actress explained that since reconnecting with her mother, she has been able to buy her mom a house and jump-start their road to healing. She explained:
"So, even though she was not the nicest and not the best at times, I feel like kill her with the kindness. And I've seen it change her. Seeing her not be able to do all the things she wanted, the frustration and the guilt that she has. At the end of my book, I say all I want to do is make enough money to get my mom out of that mental institution, get her the best doctors, the best diet, you know, get her together the best as possible. And I'm doing it. I just bought her a house. I'm broke as hell."
Shortly after Tiffany moved her mother out of the institution, she says that she finally got the closure she needed.
"When I got her out the institution and she came to the show that I did at the Microsoft Theater. Did that show and my sister brought her in but didn't tell me that she was going to be there. And we're backstage and she just comes up to me and says, tears in her eyes, 'I'm so proud of you. You were able to bring all these different people together. I'm so proud of you.' I could have died right there. I was satisfied with everything right there. And she gave me the best hug. It was the hug I had been wanting since I was 7-8-years old."
To read Tiffany's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy