We've learned that it's possible to heal and even rekindle what were once toxic relationships. But what about when the relationship is the one you have with your mother? It's up to you to break generational curses before they break you, and Tiffany Haddish knows this firsthand.
In the past, Tiffany has been candid about her tumultuous relationship with her mom, who was both physically and verbally abusive during her childhood. In a recent Hollywood Unlocked interview with Jason Lee, the actress shared how forgiving her mother provided the potent dose of healing she didn't know she needed. She explained:
"It is a long road, and I'm still working on it--still, every day working on it. But I have to put myself in her shoes. What tools did she have to be the best? Not a lot."
A tragic accident left Tiffany's mom with a life-altering brain injury, turning the life of her entire family upside-down. As a child, Tiffany faced a life in foster care and encounters of abuse from a mother she no longer knew. The actress became a parent to her parent. She described the experience:
"And then when she had that car accident, everything was taken away from her and she had to rebuild. And here I am, an 8-year-old little girl trying to teach her everything that she taught me which might not have been enough for her. Her vocabulary wasn't all together. She had a head injury. It's horrible."
Although Tiffany and her mother have had their issues, the star is focused on putting the past behind her for the sake of her own sanity. According to her, forgiveness has been a reflection of her faith:
"Also, you got to look at it like 'What if the tables are turned?' What if I have children or adopt children and something happens to me and I end up not being the best that I could possibly be. Do I want them to sh*t on me for the rest of my life that I'm here on this earth or do I want them to try their best to treat me as well as they possibly can? And I just feel like do unto others as you want them to do unto you. That's the golden rule in every religion, every Bible, every manner book, treat people the way you want to be treated."
While her mom wasn't always the woman her 8-year-old self needed, Tiffany is working to be a great woman who can empower herself and help her mom. The actress explained that since reconnecting with her mother, she has been able to buy her mom a house and jump-start their road to healing. She explained:
"So, even though she was not the nicest and not the best at times, I feel like kill her with the kindness. And I've seen it change her. Seeing her not be able to do all the things she wanted, the frustration and the guilt that she has. At the end of my book, I say all I want to do is make enough money to get my mom out of that mental institution, get her the best doctors, the best diet, you know, get her together the best as possible. And I'm doing it. I just bought her a house. I'm broke as hell."
Shortly after Tiffany moved her mother out of the institution, she says that she finally got the closure she needed.
"When I got her out the institution and she came to the show that I did at the Microsoft Theater. Did that show and my sister brought her in but didn't tell me that she was going to be there. And we're backstage and she just comes up to me and says, tears in her eyes, 'I'm so proud of you. You were able to bring all these different people together. I'm so proud of you.' I could have died right there. I was satisfied with everything right there. And she gave me the best hug. It was the hug I had been wanting since I was 7-8-years old."
To read Tiffany's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Instagram/@TiffanyHaddish.