

When you were put on this earth, you were given power and authority to break generational curses, heal generational traumas, and create a new legacy for your lineage. Many of the toxic behaviors we exhibit come from none other than the ones we love, but It's up to you to break the cycle, and sometimes that means creating boundaries with toxic family members, and the latest episode of The Real Blac Chyna is proof that this advice is big facts.
Reality TV is often only an illusion of the way life really is, and sometimes we can forget that behind the personality, there is a real person who carries many of the same generational traumas and curses that we do.
I'll be the first to admit that I've never really truly understood the enigma that is "Blac Chyna". I love black women and there's nothing you can say to make me feel otherwise, but there was something about her that felt disingenuous and I was never really able to connect with that character that she often plays in the media. But recently, a clip surfaced that featured a heated altercation between her and her mother, Tokyo Toni, that made me look at Angela White in a much different light.
After years of public confrontation, Blac Chyna and Tokyo publicly reconciled their relationship at an event in Atlanta; but it seems their happy ending didn't last long. A heated argument about Lord knows what (somebody lend me your Zeus password) recently went viral, proving that when it comes to some situations in the black community, we don't need a TV show; we need a therapist. During their argument, emotional abuse eventually led to physical threats and home decor items being used as trajectory weapons.
One of the most notable moments from the show was when Tokyo suggested that no matter how toxic your mother is, you should still respect her; and I gotta be real. I can't relate, sis. My relationship with my mom hasn't always been perfect, but there is and always has been a tone of respect and love that we both ensured was mutual and reciprocal. You can't fill from an empty cup, and I would imagine that it's hard to learn respect from someone who has never shown you an example.
The clip, as disturbing as it is, exhibits the characteristics of the very dangerous relationship dynamic that has been present in black families for generations. Blac Chyna and her mom remind us that at a certain point, you have to decide what's most important: your relationship or your sanity. But here's a pro tip: always pick your sanity, sis.
Since the show's debut, Blac Chyna has made it clear that she's intent on ending the cycle of emotional and physical abuse, starting with her own two children. She posted a photo on Instagram of her two "angels" and wrote:
"Seven things every child needs to hear: I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm sorry, I forgive you, I'm listening. This is your responsibility. You have what it takes to succeed."
While I still can't quite wrap my head around everything that Blac Chyna does, I can relate to who Angela White as a woman. While I was blessed to have a mom and dad who taught me the value of mutual respect, there have been other people in my life who have made it a point to sacrifice my happiness because they were unhappy with themselves while I sat back and endured their abuse because "I love you".
The power of connection can be a beautiful thing, but if it comes at the expense of your spiritual emotional, and physical peace, it's not worth it, sis. Break the cycle.
Featured image by Zeus.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022