When you were put on this earth, you were given power and authority to break generational curses, heal generational traumas, and create a new legacy for your lineage. Many of the toxic behaviors we exhibit come from none other than the ones we love, but It's up to you to break the cycle, and sometimes that means creating boundaries with toxic family members, and the latest episode of The Real Blac Chyna is proof that this advice is big facts.
Reality TV is often an only an illusion of the way life really is, and sometimes we can forget that behind the personality, there is a real person who carries many of the same generational traumas and curses that we do.
I'll be the first to admit that I've never really truly understood the enigma that is "Blac Chyna". I love black women and there's nothing you can say to make me feel otherwise, but there was something about her that felt disingenuous and I was never really able to connect with that character that she often plays in the media. But recently, a clip surfaced that featured a heated altercation between her and her mother, Tokyo Toni, that made me look at Angela White in a much different light.
After years of public confrontation, Blac Chyna and Tokyo publicly reconciled their relationship at an event in Atlanta; but it seems their happy ending didn't last long. A heated argument about Lord knows what (somebody lend me your Zeus password) recently went viral, proving that when it comes to some situations in the black community, we don't need a TV show; we need a therapist. During their argument, emotional abuse eventually led to physical threats and home decor items being used as trajectory weapons.
One of the most notable moments from the show was when Tokyo suggested that no matter how toxic your mother is, you should still respect her; and I gotta be real. I can't relate, sis. My relationship with my mom hasn't always been perfect, but there is and always has been a tone of respect and love that we both ensured was mutual and reciprocal. You can't fill from an empty cup, and I would imagine that it's hard to learn respect from someone who has never shown you an example.
The clip, as disturbing as it is, exhibits the characteristics of the very dangerous relationship dynamic that has been present in black families for generations. Blac Chyna and her mom remind us that at a certain point, you have to decide what's most important: your relationship or your sanity. But here's a pro tip: always pick your sanity, sis.
Since the show's debut, Blac Chyna has made it clear that she's intent on ending the cycle of emotional and physical abuse, starting with her own two children. She posted a photo Instagram of her two "angels" and wrote:
"Seven things every child needs to hear: I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm sorry, I forgive you, I'm listening. This is your responsibility. You have what it takes to succeed."
While I still can't quite wrap my head around everything that Blac Chyna does, I can relate to who Angela White as a woman. While I was blessed to have a mom and dad who taught me the value of mutual respect, there have been other people in my life who have made it a point to sacrifice my happiness because they were unhappy with themselves while I sat back and endured their abuse because "I love you".
The power of connection can be a beautiful thing, but if it comes at the expense of your spiritual emotional and physical peace, it's not worth it, sis. Break the cycle.
Featured image by Zeus.