Recognizing The Signs: Emotional Abuse Is Still Abuse


I never felt like I was being emotionally abused. Not when I was 17-19 years old dating my ex boyfriend. Not even when I was getting yelled at, spoken to like a child, cursed out, manipulated, or threatened that if I didn't stay, he would take his own life.

Though at the time I didn't have a label to put on it, I definitely knew he had emotional issues that often he took out on those closest to him or completely closed up altogether.

He also had a drinking problem and would beg me to take him to get alcohol. When I refused, he would berate me until I threatened to leave. When I tried to leave, he would threaten to take his own life. If I gave in and took him to buy alcohol, he would eventually berate me for taking him and blame me for him being drunk.

I felt like I was in an endless cycle with him.

He would become irate over the smallest things, from me getting lost on my way to pick him up from work, to him not liking the jeans I bought him. Literally anything would send him into a full on temper tantrum that often involved yelling and cursing me out before tears, begging me not to leave, and threatening suicide. I was being emotionally abused daily and told no one.

Many women don't reveal when they are being emotionally abused because they don't see it as abuse or feel it is inadequate compared to women who are in physical domestic abuse situations, but emotional abuse is very real and the scars just like physical ones take time and work to heal.

Here are a few telltale signs that you are suffering or have suffered from emotional domestic abuse.

1. He manipulates you often.

He plays the perfect person to get you to do what he wants and the moment you do, he's back to playing his usual games. In my situation, it was with him wanting me to buy him alcohol. The moment I did, he was happy but a few drinks later, he was back to berating me. Or once our relationship was ending, he would make up lies to gain sympathy from me or use the smallest ailments to try and get my attention. If he tries to manipulate you just to get his way, makes up lies to make you feel bad for him and keep you in his corner, or is constantly lying to you for his benefit, he is using manipulation to control you. This is a form of emotional abuse.

If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationship, help is available. Call 866.331.9474 or text "loveis" to 22522.

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