Quantcast
RELATED

I never felt like I was being emotionally abused. Not when I was 17-19 years old dating my ex boyfriend. Not even when I was getting yelled at, spoken to like a child, cursed out, manipulated, or threatened that if I didn't stay, he would take his own life.


Though at the time I didn't have a label to put on it, I definitely knew he had emotional issues that often he took out on those closest to him or completely closed up altogether.

He also had a drinking problem and would beg me to take him to get alcohol. When I refused, he would berate me until I threatened to leave. When I tried to leave, he would threaten to take his own life. If I gave in and took him to buy alcohol, he would eventually berate me for taking him and blame me for him being drunk.

I felt like I was in an endless cycle with him.

He would become irate over the smallest things, from me getting lost on my way to pick him up from work, to him not liking the jeans I bought him. Literally anything would send him into a full on temper tantrum that often involved yelling and cursing me out before tears, begging me not to leave, and threatening suicide. I was being emotionally abused daily and told no one.

Many women don't reveal when they are being emotionally abused because they don't see it as abuse or feel it is inadequate compared to women who are in physical domestic abuse situations, but emotional abuse is very real and the scars just like physical ones take time and work to heal.

Here are a few telltale signs that you are suffering or have suffered from emotional domestic abuse.

1. He manipulates you often.

He plays the perfect person to get you to do what he wants and the moment you do, he's back to playing his usual games. In my situation, it was with him wanting me to buy him alcohol. The moment I did, he was happy but a few drinks later, he was back to berating me. Or once our relationship was ending, he would make up lies to gain sympathy from me or use the smallest ailments to try and get my attention. If he tries to manipulate you just to get his way, makes up lies to make you feel bad for him and keep you in his corner, or is constantly lying to you for his benefit, he is using manipulation to control you. This is a form of emotional abuse.

If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationship, help is available. Call 866.331.9474 or text "loveis" to 22522.

 

RELATED

 
ALSO ON XONECOLE
I Tried SZA’s Not Beauty Lip Gloss & Here’s How It Went

On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.

The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.

Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.

KEEP READINGShow less
Want A More Satisfying Sex Life? These 10 Crystals Just Might Help.

It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”

KEEP READINGShow less
LATEST POSTS