Why Cannabis Lube Is The Best Thing To Get Yourself For V-Day
As Valentine's Day approaches there's one thing that's on everybody's mind. Yes, you guessed it: Sex. I always end up doing the latter. I've never been one that puts too much pressure on myself to make a grand gesture toward myself or anyone I'm dating on Valentine's Day. I might buy myself flowers on a weekday or try a new dish at my favorite restaurant at least. At most, I might take a pole dancing class or try a new cannabis lube, anything to get the heart rate up.
Disclaimer: I will take any opportunity try something new, especially if it's cannabis-infused.
Cannabis has a long list of health benefits, and in my experience, it's done wonders for my sex life. It's hard to enjoy sex, or anything pleasurable for that matter, if you're not present in the moment. Cannabis has made sex a more intentional exercise in self-awareness and mindfulness for me. I've tried several different cannabis lubes, did a YouTube review about it, and have had better orgasms by myself and with a partner because of it. If you haven't any Valentine's Day plans yet, it's not too late. Make the reservations, look at the restaurant wine list, and treat yourself to a cannabis lubricant to end the night in true Valentine's Day fashion.
Valentine's Day is a great opportunity to learn your body in a more intimate way and explore sex by intensifying your experience with cannabis lube. Here's why:
1. Cannabis and Wellness Go Together
Cannabis is a wellness tool that can be used in a variety of ways. Sex included. Cannabis lube is a natural enhancement, allowing you to get out of your head and into your body. Because it's often associated with an elevated mood and overall sense of well-being, you can expect that your sexual experience will be nothing less than delicious. Like biting into a heart-shaped piece of dark chocolate, using cannabis before sex stimulates the production of endorphins, the chemical in the brain that create feelings of pleasure.
2. It’s a Natural Alternative
If you consider sex a form of self-care, then you might want to seriously consider what lube you've been using up until this point. Cannabis lubricants act as a natural alternative to other sex lubes on the market because they are often accompanied by other natural ingredients like coconut oil and cardamom, which relieves fatigue and increases stamina. And because cannabis decreases vaginal dryness, it can also help prevent UTIs and yeast infections.
3. Everybody’s Talking About It
Cannabis and sex is probably one of the most exhilarating conversations happening among women right now, partly because it's about more than getting your vagina high. Not only does cannabis have anxiety-reducing effects in small amounts — so you don't have to stress yourself out about being single on Valentine's Day — but it's also believed to "increase libido ….which in turn can release positive endorphins and increase vaginal lubrication," according to New York Gynecologist Dr. Monica Grover of Asira Medical.
4. Studies are Revealing the Truth about Cannabis and Sex
While cannabis lubricant is not something that's entirely new to me, I realize for a lot of women it's never been tried or tested. That's beginning to change. A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine (JSM) entitled "The Relationship Between Marijuana Use Prior to Sex and Sexual Function in Women" revealed nearly 70% of women reported more pleasurable sex and almost 62% said it enhanced the quality of their orgasms and their libidos in general.
Are you down to try?
Featured image by Giphy
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Originally published on February 9, 2019
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DeJanae Evins is a certified cannabis educator, consultant and the creator of GreenGoddessGlow, a digital resource at the intersection of cannabis and wellness encouraging mindful cannabis self-care practices. Evins is also a freelance health and wellness writer often discussing topics around sexual health and women's empowerment. Since learning about the Plant Queendom and the many ways we can use plant medicine to heal ourselves both individually and on a global scale, Evins has been vocal in both the cannabis and wellness communities about integrating cannabis in her approach to holistic health. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @dejanaetanye.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images