

Having a period is a natural thing; it's a part of what makes us a woman. But between the bloating, cravings, cramping and bleeding, I'm pretty sure that most of us don't give it much thought—that is until our body alerts us to the fact that it's time to pull out our pads, tampons and/or menstrual cups (by the way, I've been using a menstrual cup for about half a year now; they're awesome!).
But as I was prepping for this article, I must admit that I ran across quite a few facts that I found to be really fascinating when it comes to menstruation. For instance, did you know that we tend to spend more money when we're on our period? Or how about this—there is a process known as lunaception (basically, it's about exposing your body to the full moon's light) that can actually help to regulate your cycle? Something else that just may surprise you is the fact that, just because you have a period, that doesn't always or necessarily mean that you ovulated. Yep, a particular study revealed that 37 percent of women (between the ages of 20-49) experience what is known as silent anovulation (bleeding without the passing of an egg).
Yet out of all of the period facts that I checked out, it was the ones that I'm about to share with you that really piqued my curiosity. It also confirmed that while we may only bleed one week a month, our body is truly affected by our cycle, basically all of the time.
When’s the Best Time of the Month to Have Sex?
Whenever someone asks me how I've been able to remain abstinent for as long as I have (it'll be 13 years in January), one of the things that I say is, "I try and watch who I'm around when I'm ovulating."
Just think about it—doesn't it make total sense that when our bodies are telling us that it's peak time to conceive that it would also be the time when we're at our horniest?
So, when exactly are you ovulating? It's typically 14 days before your next period begins. This means that if your period is on a like-clockwork 28-day cycle, on day 14, you are going to begin the ovulation process. And, since sperm can live inside of you for five days, your most fertile time is 12-15 (give or take a day).
There is one other day that is great for off-the-charts sex that doesn't fall in line with your ovulation; it's the day right before your period. There are some experts who say that if you want to increase your chances of having more intense orgasms, the day before is the one to do it. The reason why is because, since that's when the most blood has accumulated in your uterus, the tissues that make up your labia and your clitoris are really sensitive; so sensitive that sexual stimulation will feel totally incredible. (Makes sense when you think about it.)
So, there you have it. If you don't want to get pregnant, it kind of sucks that the time when you want to get it on the most is when you're at the most risk to conceive. But if you've always wondered why you can't seem to get enough of the good stuff about two weeks after your period stops, well, now you know.
One more thing. Since there are also studies to support that ovulation time can make you feel bolder, more attractive and sexier, if there's a guy who you want to ask out or even a job that you'd like to apply for, when your egg is dropping would definitely be the best time of the month to do it!
When’s the Best Time of the Month to Workout?
According to the bookROAR: How to Match Your Food and Fitness to Your Unique Female Physiology for Optimum Performance, Great Health, and a Strong, Lean Body for Life, although you should exercise all throughout the month, different times of the month will get you the most optimal results. For instance, on the days 1-12 following your period, that is when you're the most likely to want to engage in more intense workout routines. It's because your hormone phase is pretty low, so you have more strength and energy.
Right around day 13, you're probably entering ovulation, so you might not want to do much of anything. But then, between days 15-21, you should be back to feeling great, so you'll be in mood to do pretty much whatever. Around day 22, though, since your body will be prepping for your period to start, it's important to be sensitive to things like the slight rise in your body temperature and the shifts in your estrogen and progesterone levels. During this time, be gentle to your body by participating in things like yoga, water aerobics, or a walk after dinner.
When’s the Best Time of the Month to Make a Baby?
Out of all of the things that I've already shared, this is the one that is probably the least surprising. After all, we learned in sex education that when a woman is ovulating, that is when she can get pregnant. So, why does there still seem to be so much "controversy" about whether or not a woman can also conceive during other times of the month?
Well, one thing that needs to be taken into consideration is the fact that if your period is irregular, it can be hard to track your ovulation days (which is why, for you, using the pullout method isn't the smartest form of birth control, being that it's only around 78 percent effective when periods are regular). If this is you, make sure you see your doctor so that they can check your hormone levels. It's also a good idea to download an ovulation app and to keep some at-home ovulation tests on tap.
Another reason why you might think that you can get pregnant all throughout the month is because you may experience "breakthrough bleeding" during your time of ovulation. If this is the case and you mistake it for having an actual period, having sex without using birth control can sho 'nuf result in a positive pregnancy test result.
Then there's the thing that we already discussed—how long sperm can live in you. If your period lasts longer than 4-5 days, you have unprotected sex towards the end of your cycle, because of how long sperm can live within your body, that could possible result in a pregnancy as well.
As far as period sex goes, although the likelihood of getting pregnant on day one or two of it is extremely low, you didn't hear me say "impossible", so make sure to always keep that in mind. But still, your best time really is your ovulation time, by far.
Sex. Exercise. Pregnancy. I don't know about you, but all of these have given me incentive to get a little more up close and personal with my body, as it relates to my cycle. Clearly, paying close attention to it is about a whole lot more than just the week of my period. Clearly.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Hack Your Way To Making Your Period The Best Time Of The Month
These Foods Will Make Your Period So Much Easier To Handle
I Tried CBD Products To Alleviate My Period Pain
10 Organic Tampon Brands You Might Want To Try On Your Next Cycle
Feature image by Shutterstock
- Sex After Birth: Having Sex After A Baby - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Best Period Hacks - Life Hacks For Period - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- When Are Women The Horniest? Science Explains. - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- All Natural Hacks Remedies For A Better Period - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Moon Phases And Your Menstrual Cycle - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
- Best Time to Conceive: When to Have Sex to Get Pregnant ›
- Trying to Conceive: 10 Tips for Women | Live Science ›
- Sex for Pregnancy: 10 Common Baby-Making Mistakes | Parents ›
- When Do I Ovulate: What Time of Month Am I Most Fertile? ›
- When Is the Best Time to Have Sex to Get Pregnant? ›
- Getting Pregnant Faster ›
- Can I get pregnant just after my period has finished? - NHS ›
- Right Time For Sex , When Do You Ovulate ? | Your Fertility ›
- When and How Often to Have Sex to Get Pregnant ›
- When is the best time of the month to try for a baby? | Tommy's ›
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Traveling This Summer? These 10 Layover Hacks Will Get You Through.
With the current administration that we have, I’m sure it comes as no surprise that summer travel is in a bit of a slump this year. Still, that doesn’t mean that many folks aren’t going on some kind of trip that requires air travel, and, in order to keep a few extra bucks in their pocket, they are avoiding direct flights. Instead, they are booking ones that require some sort of a layover.
Layover. Although it isn’t exactly “music to our ears” whenever we hear the word, it doesn’t have to be a tremendous burden if you know some tricks of the trade that will make a layover more bearable. Luckily, I’ve got 10 that could actually make this your best year for summer travel yet, y’all!
10 Layover Travel Tips You’ll Be Glad You Know
1. Research Best Layover Airports (Yes, There Is Such a Thing)
If while planning your trip, if it looks like a layover is going to be more than 90 minutes, it never hurts to research the airports that are the most user-friendly as far as layovers are concerned. From what I can see, several studies reveal that George Bush Intercontinental Airport (Houston, Texas) gets a lot of props, thanks to the food options and the amount of frequent flyer miles that you can stack up.
Some other airports that top the list include Detroit Metropolitan Airport, Seattle–Tacoma International Airport and Denver International Airport. If you want to save money on your travel by having a layover, purposely landing in these cities can make the wait much more pleasurable for you.
2. Download Your Airline’s App
Whatever airline you plan on flying on, make sure to download its app before heading to the airport. There are many reasons why this is a solid hack including the fact that:
1) you can check-in and get a mobile boarding pass; 2) you can get real-time travel updates; 3) you can utilize the entertainment options that they have (including the airline’s Wi-Fi); 4) you can see how to best navigate through various airports; 5) you can easily contact their customer service support; 6) you can oftentimes track your checked baggage, and 7) some apps (like Delta) can even help you to store where you parked your car (if you put it in long-term parking) in your smartphone, so that you can easily find it upon your return.
3. Also Download Your Entertainment Beforehand
If you happen to be on a flight that either doesn’t have Wi-Fi or charges for it, you can still enjoy your movies ‘n stuff by downloading them before you leave. This can also come in handy at the airport when their internet access is running hella slow because so many people are accessing it.
4. Choose a (Layover) City Where You Have a Friend
Although I don’t hate to fly, I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s my favorite thing to do. And so, back when I used to fly to South Africa to see some family, it was common for me to stop over in London for a couple of days because it’s the halfway mark for me — and seven hours on a plane is a lot easier to endure than a whopping 14.
That said, if you’re planning on an international trip, you’re not the biggest fan of flying yourself or, again, you want to save a few coins by booking a flight that has a layover or two — why not use this as an opportunity to hang out with a family member or friend in another city? That way, you can get a break from air travel and get in some quality time with them as well.
5. Pack Some of Your Own Snacks
If you’ve ever wondered why airport food is so damn expensive, one of the main reasons is how much it costs for each restaurant to rent their space is completely insane. Plus, there are things like vendors, commission costs and all kinds of other “blah, blahs” that make the mark-ups so crazy. That’s why it can never hurt to bring some snacks along — non-liquid items that you can pack in your carry-on that will get you through your layovers without you breaking the bank in the process.
6. Put an Empty Recyclable Bottle in Your Carry On
Since a lot of airports have water refills stations available, you can stay hydrated while also keeping coins in your pocket by packing an EMPTY recyclable bottle in your carry-on too. Most TSAs will totally allow it. As far as refills on actual drinks, some airports allow those as well (after you purchase one drink from them, of course); never assume, though. Ask before making the purchase.
7. Have a Portable Charger in Tow
Maybe it’s just me but, even though airports seem to be filled with charging stations all over the place, it’s like only half of them actually work (and I’m being gracious on that!). That’s why it’s also a good idea to invest in a portable charger. I don’t know what took me so freakin’ long to get myself one; however, it’s basically my BFF at this point.
The one that I will cosign on is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W Max Fast Portable Charger. It charges pretty fast and I’ve been able to get about three full charges on my smartphone before needing to charge the portable one all over again. Such a lifesaver!
8. Get Some Lounge Access
If almost everything about airports gets on your very last nerve, you definitely need to get some airport lounge access. It’s quiet(er); you have lots of room to stretch out; the food and drink that they have to offer is typically free; many lounges have spaces that are designed and designated for children; there are convenient work stations, and some even feature spas and showers (I know, right?).
And just how do you get your hands on all of this? You can do so by flying first or business class, using your frequent flyer miles, presenting your military ID or purchasing a membership or even a day pass access into your airline’s lounge.
9. Cop Some Duty-Free Samples
If you are going on an international flight, make sure to take advantage of the duty-free shops, not just because you are usually able to purchase items from there without paying local taxes but they oftentimes have free samples that you can stock up on as well; this is especially the case when it comes to beauty-related items.
10. Stay over a Night
Since a fair share of my friends are in the entertainment world, they tend to travel a lot. What is always funny to me is how most of them talk about flying to almost every city in the country while only actually visiting a handful of them. My point here? If you are headed one place and you decide to not have a direct flight, if the city where you are having your layover is one that you’ve always been interested in, stay over a night or even two.
You can find some hacks for how to find cheap hotel rooms by checking out “Hot to Get Cheap Hotel Rooms: 20 Tips and Tricks” on Travel Mums’ site.
BONUS: Get an Exit Row Seat
If one of the things that you hate about changing planes is how uncomfortable the flights can be, space wise, ask to be put in an exit row seat. You will automatically have so much more room without having to pay what first class passengers do. Brilliant. Happy (and safe) travels!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock