I know, I know, I know. I can only guess where your minds are after reading this title – somewhere between interested and not in a million years, disgust palpable, at the very next exit – two extremes not at all unique to the subject at hand. There's something very taboo about a crimson dick.
For whatever reason, there has been a large degree of social stigma affiliated with something naturally occurring within our bodies as women. Periods are perceived to be a "no sex zone", off limits, do not pass go, exit stage right moment on a month to month basis for four to six days, 12 months out of the year (the schedule varies for those who are irregular or on contraceptives intended to stop or regulate monthly cycles).
I've only ever heard what was wrong about periods. What made it a nuisance, what made it painful, what made it stressful, what made it barren -- empty. It is very rare that it is flipped on its head to be appreciated for what it is. By definition, it's feminine nature, and therefore it's power. It's one of those undeniable things that make you a woman, a giver of life, a creator of life. A period symbolizes that capability and is a reminder of what your womb space and canal are purposed for. That in itself is beautiful. As an extension of me and my womanhood, why couldn't it be sexy?
The tides turned and the floodgates finally opened one night a few years into my sex life where I was honest with myself and my inner desires. During ovulation, hormones within the body are believed to be at their highest, but many women (including me) also find themselves feeling heightened in their libido. There was something about being forced to refrain from sex that made me want it more, period or no period.
I tried it.
I liked it.
And though I will be very honest and say that it is not as seamless a routine as mundane sex, it can be just as primal, intimate, and -- well -- sexy.
The conversation that led me to giving it a try was relatively easy, especially because I was inebriated and with a partner who held the philosophy of “A period doesn't stop nothing but a sentence." When I dropped my ideals and adopted his, the sex flowed, no pun intended. We put down a towel, grabbed a condom (because don't be fooled, you can get pregnant while on your period, uterine lining shedding or not), and I was able to try it out without my overthinking getting in the way of what I was feeling. And it was awesome!
I've found that not only am I more sensitive and more aroused at this time, but around day three or four of my cycle, the amount of blood down there is very minimal, especially when excited. Use a shower as your love-making setting of choice to help with the clean up efforts post-coitus. The positions you choose can also be a help to alleviate the presence of your period during sex. I've found that missionary is easiest because the level of depth can be controlled a lot better. Doggy style and other positions where depth reigns truest should be avoided at the start of the period but can be worked in as the flow becomes lighter later on in the cycle.
If blood doesn't bother you much, by all means, let it go, let it flow.
My a-ha moment with how I felt about period sex led me to wondering how others outside of me viewed period sex. I expected to hear a lot more hell no's but was pleasantly surprised at the thoughts that unfolded…
“I have no issue having sex with a woman on her period, I've done it a lot actually. From my experience, my woman is extremely horny during that time anyway, and as a man who loves sex, who am I to deny her? It's not nearly as bad as people imagine it to be." – Jason R.
“I have before. And it was really good. However, I was also drunk. But I can't say I'm against it. The mindset usually is period means 'no sex'. Learning exactly what a period is actually helped me to appreciate a woman's body." – Stephen G.
“Period sex isn't bad. If you're horny, you're horny. Put a towel down and get it to it. It's just a confirmation that I'm not pregnant. It works best in relationship though. When you're in a relationship you've kinda already passed all the boundaries of trying to be cute all the time. Plus, sometimes I get super horny on my period and just want it. So who would turn down free sex especially when it helps with my cramps and my mood? Win-win." – Shantell H.
“I think period sex is fine. I don't really see a big deal with it. But personally, I wouldn't do it. I'm self-conscious enough as it is and I'm not ready for it." – Anna P.
“I can't see myself having sex on a period…I like foreplay too much maybe more than sex itself and not to be able to get it because Mother Nature wants to interfere, sex isn't as enjoyable for me if no foreplay is involved." – Shannon C.
“I'm cool with it. I haven't done it often, but it was always a good experience when it happened. I've never thought that a period was something that should prevent you from sharing your love. It's human, it's womanly, it's real." – Jaden A.
“Period sex is a part of life for all but some people indulge. I've indulged before. I've had protected and unprotected sex with a woman on her cycle but during the last day and maybe the first. It's not something I aim to do, but it's definitely something I'm conscious of." – Neilson B.
How do you feel about period sex? Share with me below!
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So, before we look up and — boom — we’re just a few weeks away from summer (because that really is how this year is going, y’all), take a moment to learn more about spring fever and how you can actually make it work for you in ways that you may not have ever even considered before.
Spring Fever. What Is It All About?
GiphyA fun fact about me is I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska. If you add to that the fact that my mother is a New Yorker, perhaps that is why my favorite times of the year are fall and winter (check out “There Are Actually Scientific Reasons Why So Many Of Us Adore The Fall Season”) — including the fact that, yes, I like it cold and dark. Oh, I so enjoy cuddling up in cable-knit blankets in a room that is filled with candles. It is absolutely my thing.
In fact, I hate that I didn’t plan better this year, so that I could take a vacation to Colorado during this month since, reportedly, March is when a lot of the state tends to have the most snow. And if you add to that the fact that I am a bona fide ambivert — listen, if anyone is perfectly content with spending most of my time indoors (my house, specifically) with a cup of hot chocolate and a book or a good movie…she is I and I am her.
Still, that doesn’t mean that, over the past week or so, I haven’t felt the urge to get out more than I typically do. And from what I’ve read, that is probably due to, yep, spring fever — a time when many people feel more restless and/or like they have more energy than usual. And although it’s not technically a medical condition, many experts on the topic say that spring fever should be taken quite seriously.
The main reason is because when daylight savings time “springs forward,” it gives us extra daylight. When that happens, it actually has an impact on your circadian rhythm (the pattern that your body experiences every 24-hour cycle). There are actually pros and cons to this because while, on one hand, “losing an hour of sleep” can up your stress levels (including when it comes to your heart) which is a con, more sunlight also has a way of increasing your serotonin levels which is a pro. You see, serotonin is one of the “feel-good hormones” in your body that causes you to feel happier; it also makes you want to stay awake for longer periods of time.
Something else about spring fever that has some science to back it: You do tend to take a bigger interest in dating and sex (even though fall is reportedly the best time of year for copulation — check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”). There is actually a pretty scientific basis for why this is the case (that you can read here). For now, I guess the best way to explain it would be that sunlight hits your optic nerve which influences the part of your brain known as your pineal gland. When that happens, less melatonin is produced and, since melatonin can actually lower your libido — there you have it: suppressed melatonin can increase your interest in flirting, dating, and intimacy, and being out in the sun more helps to make all of this happen.
Not to mention the fact thatother reports have stated that spring is a time of the year when people tend to be more body image conscious too. Since layering season is gone and yet it’s not quite time to pull out a bathing suit (check out “These 12 Tips Will Make You Feel More Confident In Your Swimsuit”), springtime is a time of preparation. And since you’ve got all of that extra energy — and potential dating interest — spring fever can help to make you more focused on getting your body in the shape that you want it to be in over the course of the next few months.
A final thing about spring fever — it may causeyour moods to be a bit…erratic. That makes sense when you really stop to think about it because spring weather tends to be the same way with all of its roller-coaster ride temperatures, “April showers” and whatnot. So, more than usual, you may feel like you want to hang out for hours with friends one day and then not even want to answer your phone another — which is pretty much a reminder that spring is a season when you should really listen to your mind, body, and spirit to see what it needs.
5 Ways to Handle Spring Fever (So That It Doesn’t Control You)
GiphyOkay, so now that you know that spring fever isn’t just a saying, that it actually has some solid truth to it, here are a few tips that can help to keep it from throwing you off course:
1. Be intentional about stabilizing your moods. It’s not good enough to know that certain things will impact your moods in a random way and then do nothing about it. And since spring fever may have you a bit all over the place, eat foods that will help to make you feel better (check out “In A Bad Mood? These Foods Will Lift Your Spirits!”), look into supplements that will boost your moods (like probiotics, magnesium, and vitamin D), and do some meditating outdoors. The combination of sunlight and deep breathing can do wonders.
2. Get on a sleep schedule. More sun really can throw your sleep patterns off, so you might want to consider putting your body on a sleep schedule. Y’all, I actually read that spring is the season when heart attacks and strokes increase, in part, due to sleep deprivation — so please don’t be out here thinking that just because you may not feel like sleeping that you don’t actually need to. YOU. DO. (Check out “12 Monthly Sleep Habits To Transform Your Rest In 2025”).
3. Exercise…even if it’s in baby steps. There are a billion reasons why we all need to exercise, no matter what time of year it is; however, if the body image thing is really on your mind, there are so many ways to get your body toned up. Jumping jacks, lunges, squats, mountain climbers, bicycle crunches — these are all things that you can do from the comfort and convenience of your house. And walking around your neighborhood either before work or after dinner (or both), especially now that it’s warmer — that is a cool way to get some cardio in. Anyway, Healthline has a helpful article on this topic. Check out “30 Moves to Make the Most of Your At-Home Workout” when you get a chance.
4. Date with a “sober” mind. A wise person once said, “Feelings don’t have intellect.” Yeah, don’t get me to preachin’ up in here (again) about just how much I hate the saying “Follow your heart” when the Good Book clearly says that the heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9-10). For now, let’s just leave it at this: You get that science says that your urge to, umm, entertain more, may increase right now. Just make sure that you don’t just “go with the flow of your feelings”. Bring some common sense, street smarts, and even patience to the table. Springtime is just one season. Make choices that will make the rest of the year awesome as well.
5. Put all of that extra energy to wise use. You already read that feeling restless is pretty normal these days; that doesn’t mean that you’ve gotta do reckless things, though. The way that I see it, extra energy can help you to make some plans, reach a goal (whether it’s long-term or short-term), or try something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Bottom line: just because spring fever may have you feeling like you’re all over the place, that doesn’t mean that you can’t cultivate some real direction. Use this time to make you end this year in a way that makes you smile. All because you used spring fever…instead of allowing it to use you!
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