

A few weeks ago, while I was talking to a friend who is post-menopause about how I really think that there needs to be far more information out there about perimenopause, she sighed, laughed, and then asked, “Have you started to feel like you’re peeing on yourself yet?”
Umm…NO. Girl, what?
She then went on to talk about how,for about a year straight, she would randomly have streams of what felt like urine running out of her and, when she finally went to the doctor about it, they said that it had to do with her hormones fluctuating all over the place because she was on the tail end of perimenopause andher vagina was in a bit of atrophy. Listen, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a billion times: it seems like the only time when our world, as women, isn’t revolving around a menstrual cycle, is before they ever begin. Otherwise…GOODNESS.
Anyway, after speaking to some other post-menopausal women about this very topic and then thinking about some of the times when I’ve had random bouts of watery discharge, even back in my early 30s, I decided that now is as good a time as any to tackle this topic — in case it’s something that some of you have or are currently going through…and you’re not quite sure what to make it of it.
What Is Healthy Discharge?
Okay, so let’s start with a brief rundown on why we have vaginal discharge at all and what the indications are that it’s healthy. Long story short, vaginal discharge is a fluid that comes out of your vagina that helps to both clean and lubricate your vagina (which is why douching is totally unnecessary). Depending on the time of the month that your cycle is in, your discharge can change, although the average amount of healthy discharge tends to be somewhere between 1-4 milliliters (which equals out to ½ teaspoon) daily. Texture-wise, it may be watery or a bit thicker. Color-wise, it may be clear to off-white.
As far as what a healthy vagina smells like — that can vary. When it’s highly acidic, it might smell fermented. When you’re on your cycle, it may smell like copper (due to the blood). If it smells kind of like molasses, there could be an overgrowth of bacteria going on (although that’s not usually anything to be too concerned about).
Really, healthy discharge can be its own article; however, this is a pretty good overall description if you’re looking for something to compare your own vaginal discharge to.
What Is Unhealthy Discharge?
Now that you know about healthy vaginal discharge, what are some signs that yours may not be as healthy as it should be? Pretty much, it’s the opposite of everything that I just said. I will say that there is an exception when it comes to the color because if you see red, pink, or even brown and it’s around your cycle, your period usually has something to do with it (if it’s not around your period, you should alert your doctor because there may be an underlying health issue going on).
Outside of that, though, a yellow or greenish color typically means that you have either a bacterial infection or an STI/STD and grayish hues usually point to some type of bacterial vaginosis (BV). Odor-wise, your vagina should never smell fishy (that’s also an indication of some type of infection). If it smells like ammonia sometimes, that could be because your urine is too strong (drinking more water can help that out); if it smells like an onion, it could be due to emotional stress and if it smells like death (literally), that could be because you left a tampon in too long or some remnants of the tampon is still stuck in your vagina.
It’s also wise to remember that healthy discharge isn’t really irritating, so if yours is itchy, burning, or super thick, also see your physician as soon as you can.
What Does Watery Discharge Mean?
Alright, now that you know (or have recapped) what healthy and unhealthy vaginal discharge is like, let’s get into today’s main topic: watery discharge. Although I already touched on the role that perimenopause and menopause can play, there are other things that can lead to this type of discharge too:
Ovulation: Honestly, a lot of this is more about yourcervical fluid/cervical mucus that becomes thinner and more slippery when you’re ovulating, so that it’s easier for sperm to get to your eggs. What causes this to happen is a spike in your estrogen levels. It’s nothing to be alarmed about.
Pregnancy: Another time in your life when your estrogen levels may remain pretty high iswhen you’re pregnant — and yes, that can cause some watery discharge too; the kind that may increase as your pregnancy progresses. So long as the discharge isn’t accompanied by any of the unhealthy signs that I mentioned earlier, you should be fine when it comes to watery discharge here as well.
Sexual Arousal: Something else that can cause more discharge that seems watery is when you’re sexually aroused. Whenever that happens, more blood flows to your vaginal region and that can cause natural lubrication to transpire. This, right here, is always a good thing. Oh, and for those of you who wonder if squirting would fall under this category, check out, “Is Squirting Really Worth The Hype?” Come to think of it, one more “oh” — if you find yourself “getting wet” without direct sexual stimulation (or maybe even wanting to), the term for that is arousal non-concordance. It’s basically what happens when your body lubricates during times when your mind may not be thinking about it or would like it to happen.
Vaginal Sweat: Something else that can lead to watery discharge: something known as vaginal sweat.For the record, although your vagina itself doesn’t contain any sweat glands, when your vulva (the outer part of your vagina) and/or thighs produce an excessive amount of sweat due to things like exercise; heat; panties that don’t “breathe” (check out “These Are The Kinds Of Panties Your Vagina Actually Prefers”); pubic hair; being overweight, and pads and pantyliners, that’s what it tends to be called. Also, nothing to fret about (although you should go with wearing cotton panties if that’s not what you’re usually wearing so that your vulva can cool off more easily).
5 Ways to Keep Your Discharge Just How It Should Be
Now that you know a little bit more about watery discharge, you might also be curious about what you can do to keep yours at a healthy amount. Here are five quick tips.
1. Get your hormone levels checked. Since a lot about what goes on with discharge is about what your hormones are (or aren’t) doing, if lately, you’ve been noticing more vaginal discharge than usual, ask your doctor to check your hormone levels. If they’re imbalanced, there are a myriad of options that can help to get them back on track.
2. Wash your vagina properly. The reason why I’ve written articles like “Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure?,” “Have You Ever 'Spring Cleaned' Your Vagina Before?” and even “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes” is because, when it comes to how to correctly cleanse their vagina (which is really more like your vulva because your vagina doesn’t need any help in the cleaning department), many people know very little about it. For starters, if you’re using heavy perfumes or vaginal washes that contain a lot of chemicals, it could end up irritating your va-jay-jay and that can result in an increase of discharge. When it comes to vaginal cleansing, product-wise, less is always gonna be more.
3. Change out of wet clothes quickly. If you want to decrease vaginal sweating, get out of sweaty clothes as soon as you can. Not only can this prevent more wetness from occurring, but you will also decrease the chances of creating a breeding ground for yeast infections to occur (because dark, warm, and wet places are where yeast will thrive).
4. Make sure it’s not incontinence.Sometimes, what people think is excessive discharge can actually be incontinence that’s caused by an infection (like a urinary tract infection), a weak pelvic floor, constipation,an overactive bladder, or even stress. The cheat sheet on this one is no, your discharge should not constantly smell like urine. If it does, lean into you having an incontinence issue — and share it with your doctor.
5. USE. CONDOMS. Every time that I read thatonly one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms, I get triggered. Oftentimes, when your discharge is working overtime, it’s to try and get something out that shouldn’t be in there (like bacteria). Using condoms during sex helps to make things easier on your vagina — so unless you’re in a long-term exclusive relationship, condoms always need to be in use.
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Watery discharge? It’s pretty much a fact of life that will creep up at one time or another. Now that you know what can be the causes of it, hopefully, you know what to do about it…whatever the cause of it may be.
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- What Your Vaginal Discharge Is Really Telling You ›
- I Gave Up Feminine Wash After My Go-To Was Sold Out For Months ›
- 8 Teas That Are Really Good For Your Vaginal Health ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Power Women Protect Their Finances With Smart Money Boundaries
No matter what it is, setting boundaries can be challenging, especially when those boundaries involve money. But if you want to sustain success and financial freedom, boundaries are important, both with yourself and with others.
Many wealthy successful women have mastered setting boundaries and prioritizing accountability so that they can ensure they remain that way. Let's face it: If you want a certain quality of life and you work hard to achieve that, you don't want to risk it by taking on habits that jeopardize your financial stability.
Be inspired to not only set money boundaries but keep them by taking heed to the common financial boundaries power women of today establish:
1. They pay themselves first.
Building consistent savings habits is important to wealth-building no matter how much you earn, and the practice is often one that continues even after you're well-booked and well-paid. Actress, producer, and philanthropist Queen Latifah has always been a proponent of this after learning from her mom to "save your money."
This is the epitome of the energy behind paying yourself first. You squirrel something away and take care of yourself by taking care of your future first, before paying any bills. You invest in yourself (within your means and with a budget in mind, of course).
2. They don't loan money without clear repayment rules and expectations are agreed upon.
It's awesome to be able to help people out by loaning them money, but when you don't communicate clearly about repayment (or what will happen if the money is not repaid) you set yourself up for a cycle of taking on other's debts and maybe even building more debt of your own.
Unless you're doing charity, set those boundaries early about when and how a loan will be repaid. And if you know you won't get the money back, rethink the loan altogether.
3. They create budgets that are realistic and reflect their current lifestyle.
In her book, What I Know for Sure, Oprah Winfrey wrote, “I hope the way you spend your money is in line with the truth of who you are and what you care about.” This is key for many successful women, especially when they're budgeting and investing.
Issa Rae told Money.com, "I don’t splurge just because. I will never have 17 cars. I will never have expensive jewelry. I don’t spend that much on my clothes, or shoes. I will spend money on a stylist, and a makeup artist, because those things feel necessary for work. But material things? No."
There's a clear indication that there are clear value systems sustained by what matters to them no matter how much they make, and budgeting is a huge part of that.
4. They consider the long-term effects of a rash purchase before proceeding.
It's totally okay to treat yourself, but if you find yourself impulsively buying things you don't really need or always living check to check because you've maxed out your credit card to take that sixth trip in one year, there's a problem that might put a damper on those financial freedom plans. (That is unless your trip is part of how you make your money, and it's a worthy investment into expanding your prospects.)
Successful women are conscious of the long- and short-term effects of purchases, small and large. They're always thinking about how one action can impact the bigger picture.
5. They are givers and believe in the reciprocity of that.
Many of us are familiar with the famous quote, "To whom much is given, must is required," and there's that undertone of service and charity that is a common thread for wealthy, successful women, especially those who run businesses or lead brands. Involving yourself in acts of service not only enriches your development and that of communities, but it increases your exposure, network, and credibility, often leading to more opportunities to make more money.
Most leading CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals are big on giving back, whether it is through resources, a nonprofit, money, or their time. "As you become more successful, it's important for you to give back. Even if you can't financially give back, kind words and sharing about other businesses on social media mean so much. Every little thing counts. Help out your friends and family with advice, encouragement, and support," said Angela Yee, award-winning radio host and entrepreneur.
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Originally published on August 16, 2024