

"Healthy" is such a big word. It means that you are prosperous. It means that you are vigorous. It means that you are sound. And there is absolutely no way that you can maintain a state of healthiness if you're out here eating tons of junk food, living in drive-thrus and frying everything on the planet. Yeah, as much as a lot of us may not want to hear it, if we want to be physically healthy, we've got to be intentional about what and how we eat.
Below, I've got 10 ways to ease into doing that. While you may be rolling your eyes on the front end, I think once you get a little more than halfway through, you'll realize that eating healthy doesn't have to be boring or tasteless or stressful. All you need to do is make a few tweaks here and there and you'll be well on your way to physically thriving more than you currently are.
1. Cook More Often
Aside from the fact that cooking at home can save you a ton of cash (the average household spends a whopping $3,000 a year on eating out), it can be really good for you, health-wise too. When you prepare meals in your own kitchen — you are aware of all of the ingredients that you are using, you will typically eat smaller portions and you are in control of the condition of the kitchen ('cause some of these restaurants and their health scores are a hot ass mess).
And what if even hearing all of that doesn't move you much because you hate cooking just that much? Check out an article that I wrote a while back on the platform entitled "10 Hacks That Can Make Cooking Easier (If You Hate To Cook)". It could make the thought of spending more time in the kitchen a bit less dreadful.
2. Use Fruit to Curb Your Sweet Tooth
Let me tell it, you can NEVER have enough ice cream. Still, with all of the sugar and cream that's in it, I've learned that my waistline and digestive system need me to scale it back a bit. Something that I've been doing more of is making smoothies instead of milkshakes. Or when I have a sweet tooth, I'll dip some fresh strawberries into some dark chocolate, make my own sorbet (which is basically sugar and fruit; but when it's DIY, you can control how much sugar you use) or snack on some dried fruit. Does that mean I never have a Nutty Buddy or a slice of cake? Sure, I do; however, going with healthier alternatives tends to hit the spot so that I'm not packing on pounds or setting myself up for a sugar addiction (check out "Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?").
While we're on this topic, I do think I should put on record that the Vitamin C and fiber in fresh fruit makes it a much better option than desserts 'n stuff; just make sure to keep your portions under control. Fruit contains fructose which is still sugar and could lead to health issues like diabetes, if you're not careful and you mess around and overdo it.
3. Go for the Dark Meat
Pun intended and not intended, I'm a dark meat kind of gal. Well, even if you're someone who prefers the white meat of chicken and turkey, let's not act like it's not typically drier and oftentimes harder to chew unless it's got a lot of condiments on it. And here's the thing — while dark meat oftentimes catches heat for having more fat and calories, on average, that's only around 10-15 more per serving. And since dark meat tends to be much more tender and full of flavor, it actually makes more sense to eat dark meat as you prepared it rather than white meat that's consumed with a ton of extra "stuff". By the way, drums of a chicken are dark meat while wings of a chicken are white (thought that should go on record for those of you who are big-time chicken eaters).
4. Take the Whole Grain Route for Pasta, Rice and Bread
My goddaughter often mentions to me how irritated she is that her parents don't keep bread in the house. I feel her pain. I don't have that rule. While I don't keep a ton of bread, pasta or rice around, I will indulge. I just try and make sure that whatever it is, it's whole grain instead of white because those kinds of white foods are processed in such a way that almost all of the nutrients are stripped away. As far as the health benefits of whole grain (which means it contains all of the grain — the bran, endosperm and germ) goes, it's a good source of fiber, calcium, plant compounds, manganese and B vitamins; it lowers your risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes and stroke; it's easy on your digestive system; it reduces chronic inflammation and, it even increases longevity. So, enjoy your spaghetti and grilled cheese. Just go with whole grain when you do.
5. Consume the Skin
When it comes to eating healthier, if there are two mistakes that a lot of us make far too often, it's cooking food for so long that most of the nutrients are taken out (in most cases, the "rawer" the better) and/or it's removing skin from fruits and veggies that are better for us if we would just leave them on. The reality is that a lot of foods have skins that are loaded with nutrients, including powerful antibiotics and an incredible 30 percent more fiber than peeled produce does. So, when it comes to foods like apples, peaches, eggplants, zucchini, potatoes, cucumbers, kiwi, pears, tomatoes and grapes, eat them as is. It's a little thing that can make a really big difference when it comes to your overall health and well-being.
6. Sauté More Often
There is someone in my family who sautés collards and they are the absolute bomb.
That said, if you're someone who likes to use your cast iron skillet a lot (and if so, may God richly bless you), you should consider sautéing more often too. The reason why is because if you add a little extra virgin olive oil to whatever it is that you're preparing, that will kick the antioxidants in them known as phenols up a notch. This is good to know because those can help to prevent cancer, muscular degeneration and diabetes from setting in.
If you've never sautéed before, what exactly does that mean? It basically means that you put food into a pan and cook it in a short amount of time with a little oil and on high heat. You can check out a video for tips on how to do it here.
7. Bake Instead of Fry
Fried foods taste great. I'll be the first to say that. The reason why less is more when it comes to eating them is because they are usually prepared in oil and, since oil is typically a saturated fat, that makes it pretty high in calories. The alternative? Baking. You don't need oil (or at least as much) which makes it a better option. Or you can go with an air fryer. It's healthier than using a deep fryer. It can reduce the risk of certain compounds forming that come directly from frying foods. It also can reduce the heart disease risk. For the record, all of this is great, so long as you also keep in mind that if you're using an air fryer to fry food, it's still frying food. I know some of us feel like air fryers are miracles, but they still need to be used in moderation.
8. When Getting Takeout, Nix the Sides
There really is no way around the fact that cooking is healthier (and cheaper) than eating out. Still, I get that sometimes you may be too tired to prepare a meal or you simply want to "treat yourself" by picking something up or having it delivered to you. In these instances, try and order a main dish and still have sides at home. For instance, if you want some Mexican food, get the tacos or burritos, go without the beans and rice and have some carrot and celery sticks. Or, if you're craving burgers and fries, perhaps go without the fries and partner the sandwich up with a salad. You'll save a few coins and get in some extra nutrients this way.
9. Go Easy on Condiments
I've got an ex who used to say, "If you've got to rely on condiments to make your food taste good, you didn't prepare it right." For the most part, I totally agree with him. Not to mention that a lot of condiments contain a pretty high amount of fat, sugar and/or salt. For instance, on average, mayonnaise is 180 calories per serving; salad dressing is 130 calories per serving; tartar sauce is 120 calories per serving; maple syrup is 105 calories per serving and barbeque sauce is 100 calories per serving. Does this mean you can't enjoy condiments at all? I'm not saying that. What I am recommending is that you read the labels of condiments before purchasing them and that when you order foods that typically come with them, it's best to get your condiments on the side. That can significantly reduce the portion of them that you consume.
10. Drink More Water
OK. I'm thinking that you already know that soda isn't good for you. The main reason is because the amount of sugar that's in it is totally off the charts — literally.
For instance, there are 39 grams of sugar in one can of Coke. Now guess how many grams you're supposed to have a day — 24 grams. Exactly. To give you a bit more perspective, there is around 23 grams of sugar in fruit juice and 22 grams of sugar in sweet tea (depending on who makes it). Not to mention the calories that can easily be 120-150 per serving. This means that you can drink all of the calories that your body needs every day if you're not careful.
The alternative? Yep, more water. If the thought of that drives you crazy, remember that there are options like sparkling and mineral water (which assists with heart health, constipation and lowering your blood pressure) which adds some bubbly to whatever you drink. If you make a drink that is one-third juice and the rest is water, you're still getting flavor without as much sugar and calories. Or you can always go the infused water route; both are personal favorites of mine. It's one more way to make it easier to eat/drink healthy while still enjoying your food/drink in the process.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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More Than A Meal: How Bryant & Daniella Found Love In The Kitchen
How We Metis a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
They say the best relationships start off as friendships, and Bryant aka Chef Baul, and Daniella Williams are living proof of that. The couple met on the job and from there, their relationship organically blossomed into something much more.
Now married for almost three years, the couple has grown their family and businesses, opening a brunch restaurant, Betty Sue’s, in Atlanta.
From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
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