

10 Ways To Make Eating Healthier. Easier.
"Healthy" is such a big word. It means that you are prosperous. It means that you are vigorous. It means that you are sound. And there is absolutely no way that you can maintain a state of healthiness if you're out here eating tons of junk food, living in drive-thrus and frying everything on the planet. Yeah, as much as a lot of us may not want to hear it, if we want to be physically healthy, we've got to be intentional about what and how we eat.
Below, I've got 10 ways to ease into doing that. While you may be rolling your eyes on the front end, I think once you get a little more than halfway through, you'll realize that eating healthy doesn't have to be boring or tasteless or stressful. All you need to do is make a few tweaks here and there and you'll be well on your way to physically thriving more than you currently are.
1. Cook More Often
Aside from the fact that cooking at home can save you a ton of cash (the average household spends a whopping $3,000 a year on eating out), it can be really good for you, health-wise too. When you prepare meals in your own kitchen — you are aware of all of the ingredients that you are using, you will typically eat smaller portions and you are in control of the condition of the kitchen ('cause some of these restaurants and their health scores are a hot ass mess).
And what if even hearing all of that doesn't move you much because you hate cooking just that much? Check out an article that I wrote a while back on the platform entitled "10 Hacks That Can Make Cooking Easier (If You Hate To Cook)". It could make the thought of spending more time in the kitchen a bit less dreadful.
2. Use Fruit to Curb Your Sweet Tooth
Let me tell it, you can NEVER have enough ice cream. Still, with all of the sugar and cream that's in it, I've learned that my waistline and digestive system need me to scale it back a bit. Something that I've been doing more of is making smoothies instead of milkshakes. Or when I have a sweet tooth, I'll dip some fresh strawberries into some dark chocolate, make my own sorbet (which is basically sugar and fruit; but when it's DIY, you can control how much sugar you use) or snack on some dried fruit. Does that mean I never have a Nutty Buddy or a slice of cake? Sure, I do; however, going with healthier alternatives tends to hit the spot so that I'm not packing on pounds or setting myself up for a sugar addiction (check out "Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?").
While we're on this topic, I do think I should put on record that the Vitamin C and fiber in fresh fruit makes it a much better option than desserts 'n stuff; just make sure to keep your portions under control. Fruit contains fructose which is still sugar and could lead to health issues like diabetes, if you're not careful and you mess around and overdo it.
3. Go for the Dark Meat
Pun intended and not intended, I'm a dark meat kind of gal. Well, even if you're someone who prefers the white meat of chicken and turkey, let's not act like it's not typically drier and oftentimes harder to chew unless it's got a lot of condiments on it. And here's the thing — while dark meat oftentimes catches heat for having more fat and calories, on average, that's only around 10-15 more per serving. And since dark meat tends to be much more tender and full of flavor, it actually makes more sense to eat dark meat as you prepared it rather than white meat that's consumed with a ton of extra "stuff". By the way, drums of a chicken are dark meat while wings of a chicken are white (thought that should go on record for those of you who are big-time chicken eaters).
4. Take the Whole Grain Route for Pasta, Rice and Bread
My goddaughter often mentions to me how irritated she is that her parents don't keep bread in the house. I feel her pain. I don't have that rule. While I don't keep a ton of bread, pasta or rice around, I will indulge. I just try and make sure that whatever it is, it's whole grain instead of white because those kinds of white foods are processed in such a way that almost all of the nutrients are stripped away. As far as the health benefits of whole grain (which means it contains all of the grain — the bran, endosperm and germ) goes, it's a good source of fiber, calcium, plant compounds, manganese and B vitamins; it lowers your risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes and stroke; it's easy on your digestive system; it reduces chronic inflammation and, it even increases longevity. So, enjoy your spaghetti and grilled cheese. Just go with whole grain when you do.
5. Consume the Skin
When it comes to eating healthier, if there are two mistakes that a lot of us make far too often, it's cooking food for so long that most of the nutrients are taken out (in most cases, the "rawer" the better) and/or it's removing skin from fruits and veggies that are better for us if we would just leave them on. The reality is that a lot of foods have skins that are loaded with nutrients, including powerful antibiotics and an incredible 30 percent more fiber than peeled produce does. So, when it comes to foods like apples, peaches, eggplants, zucchini, potatoes, cucumbers, kiwi, pears, tomatoes and grapes, eat them as is. It's a little thing that can make a really big difference when it comes to your overall health and well-being.
6. Sauté More Often
There is someone in my family who sautés collards and they are the absolute bomb.
That said, if you're someone who likes to use your cast iron skillet a lot (and if so, may God richly bless you), you should consider sautéing more often too. The reason why is because if you add a little extra virgin olive oil to whatever it is that you're preparing, that will kick the antioxidants in them known as phenols up a notch. This is good to know because those can help to prevent cancer, muscular degeneration and diabetes from setting in.
If you've never sautéed before, what exactly does that mean? It basically means that you put food into a pan and cook it in a short amount of time with a little oil and on high heat. You can check out a video for tips on how to do it here.
7. Bake Instead of Fry
Fried foods taste great. I'll be the first to say that. The reason why less is more when it comes to eating them is because they are usually prepared in oil and, since oil is typically a saturated fat, that makes it pretty high in calories. The alternative? Baking. You don't need oil (or at least as much) which makes it a better option. Or you can go with an air fryer. It's healthier than using a deep fryer. It can reduce the risk of certain compounds forming that come directly from frying foods. It also can reduce the heart disease risk. For the record, all of this is great, so long as you also keep in mind that if you're using an air fryer to fry food, it's still frying food. I know some of us feel like air fryers are miracles, but they still need to be used in moderation.
8. When Getting Takeout, Nix the Sides
There really is no way around the fact that cooking is healthier (and cheaper) than eating out. Still, I get that sometimes you may be too tired to prepare a meal or you simply want to "treat yourself" by picking something up or having it delivered to you. In these instances, try and order a main dish and still have sides at home. For instance, if you want some Mexican food, get the tacos or burritos, go without the beans and rice and have some carrot and celery sticks. Or, if you're craving burgers and fries, perhaps go without the fries and partner the sandwich up with a salad. You'll save a few coins and get in some extra nutrients this way.
9. Go Easy on Condiments
I've got an ex who used to say, "If you've got to rely on condiments to make your food taste good, you didn't prepare it right." For the most part, I totally agree with him. Not to mention that a lot of condiments contain a pretty high amount of fat, sugar and/or salt. For instance, on average, mayonnaise is 180 calories per serving; salad dressing is 130 calories per serving; tartar sauce is 120 calories per serving; maple syrup is 105 calories per serving and barbeque sauce is 100 calories per serving. Does this mean you can't enjoy condiments at all? I'm not saying that. What I am recommending is that you read the labels of condiments before purchasing them and that when you order foods that typically come with them, it's best to get your condiments on the side. That can significantly reduce the portion of them that you consume.
10. Drink More Water
OK. I'm thinking that you already know that soda isn't good for you. The main reason is because the amount of sugar that's in it is totally off the charts — literally.
For instance, there are 39 grams of sugar in one can of Coke. Now guess how many grams you're supposed to have a day — 24 grams. Exactly. To give you a bit more perspective, there is around 23 grams of sugar in fruit juice and 22 grams of sugar in sweet tea (depending on who makes it). Not to mention the calories that can easily be 120-150 per serving. This means that you can drink all of the calories that your body needs every day if you're not careful.
The alternative? Yep, more water. If the thought of that drives you crazy, remember that there are options like sparkling and mineral water (which assists with heart health, constipation and lowering your blood pressure) which adds some bubbly to whatever you drink. If you make a drink that is one-third juice and the rest is water, you're still getting flavor without as much sugar and calories. Or you can always go the infused water route; both are personal favorites of mine. It's one more way to make it easier to eat/drink healthy while still enjoying your food/drink in the process.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Want To Add Retinol To Your Skincare Routine? Here’s Where To Start.
Magic products. Secret serums. Glass skin in a bottle. We’ve all heard the claims of skincare brands that promise to solve all of our skin’s needs with just one product added to our rotation. And while it’s easy to veer into “product junkie” territory when trying to find the right creams or serums to correct your skin’s needs, over time, it can become frustrating when you still don’t see results.
But if there’s one skincare ingredient that can deliver an all-in-one solution to most skincare concerns, it’s retinol.
What Is Retinol?
As the darling of the skincare space, retinol is a vitamin-A derivative that is used to reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improve skin texture, increase collagen production, and enhance cell turnover, leading to smoother and more youthful-looking skin.
How Does Retinol Work?
Retinol, which is commonly found in creams, serums, and other skincare formulations, works in several ways that benefit the skin. It promotes cellular turnover by encouraging the removal of old skin cells and the production of new, healthier ones, improving skin texture and reducing fine lines. Additionally, retinol stimulates collagen production, which combats wrinkled skin and helps to unclog pores, making it an effective ingredient to use against acne and enlarged pores.
Because the body can not produce vitamin A on its own, it needs to be provided through dietary intake and topical application to the skin via skincare products.
How To Start Using Retinol
Because retinol is an active skincare ingredient, it’s important to start adding it into your skincare routine gradually and taking note of your skin’s sensitivity and how your skin responds to it. If you're new to retinol, it's advised to begin with a lower concentration (at least 0.25% retinol) and allow your skin to acclimate by starting once a week or every other night.
As your skin becomes more accustomed to retinol over time, you can then gradually increase the frequency. After a few weeks, you may be able to use it every night, but some people may find that using it every other night or a few times a week is sufficient.
Always listen to your skin and pay close attention to how your skin reacts to the usage of retinol. Experiencing dryness, redness, flaking, or irritation while using retinol is normal, but it could be a sign that you may be using retinol too often or at too high a concentration. While it can be frustrating to go through the trial-and-error phase of using retinol, adjusting the frequency of use or switching to a milder formulation can yield the best results while minimizing potential side effects.
And, of course, always use sunscreen.
To get you started on your retinol journey, here are some of the best beginner-friendly retinol serums and creams to try out for yourself:
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Featured image by Renata Angerami/Getty Images