I've got one friend who says she does her deepest thinking while she vacuums. Another, while she washes dishes. Me? I process a whole lot while I'm cooking. That's why, whenever I come up on a cooking hack, try it and it works, I get hyped like some of y'all get about a new pair of shoes (no joke). And since cooking is something that, at least most of us do, I thought I'd put you on to some hacks that have made food prep and eating a helluva lot easier and even fun. Ready?
1. Cut Salad Ingredients Differently
Let's start with salad prep. When it comes to your actual greens, stop cutting them up with a knife because all that does is bruise them. Instead, tear the leaves off with your hands; they'll remain fresher and last longer that way. As far as your other veggies go, be intentional about cutting them into small pieces. A lot of us miss the fact that a perfect salad consists of being able to get as much of what we put into the salad into every bite. Oh, and if you're prepping your salad for another time, leave the high-water veggies (like tomatoes and cucumbers out) until you're about to eat the salad. Watery foods will make your salad all mushy 'n stuff if you put them into your salad too soon. Yuck.
2. Also, Put Dressing on Your Salad Bowl—ONLY
While talking to one of my clients (I'm a doula), I teased her when she told me that she loved eating salad. On the surface, that's great, but I knew to dig a little deeper. See, salad is really only good for you when you're not piling on a ton of dressing, meat and Lord knows what else to drown out the freshness of the greens and other veggies.
If you can't imagine eating one with only a little bit of olive oil, salt and pepper, a cool hack is to pour the dressing into the bowl before putting your salad into it. That way, you'll typically end up with less dressing and your greens and veggies will get "equal" dressing love—instead of big clumps of dressing here and there—too.
3. Open Bananas from the Bottom Up
I don't know about y'all, but I'm a bit of a banana snob. It's got to be perfectly ripe (dry, not slimy with no bruises on it) for me to even consider eating one. And even then, it annoys me that those stringy things seem to always get in the way. The solution? Open your bananas from the bottom up. That way, the strings will come off along with the peel and you can enjoy your banana without all of the extra drama.
4. Put Ice Cream in a Plastic Bag
I'm thinking that this might be the kind of hack that some of you are already pretty familiar with, but for those who might've never heard of this before—if you want to keep your ice cream fresh and also avoid that nasty freezer burn that sometimes is on the top of it, all you've got to do is wrap the container up in a plastic bag (you know, like the bags you get from the grocery store). I've been doing this for years and I can definitely tell the difference from when I do vs. when I don't.
5. Apply Clothespins and Hangers Differently
My relationship with chopsticks is a bit of a hot and cold one. Sometimes, I'm able to master them perfectly; other times, it's nothing but mayhem. If you can totally relate, one way to put your chopsticks on training wheels is to pull apart one of your clothespins. The silver part? Wrap it in between the two sticks so that it serves as an anchor as you try and pick up your food. It will help the sticks to open up just enough without them flying all over the place. Pretty cool, huh?
As far as hangers go, if they're the kind that are plastic and have the clip attached, break off the clip. Why? Well, that way, you can use it to keep your potato chips and cookies closed. It's the cheapest way to keep bags of food fresh. Can you dig it?
6. Place Bread into Your Cookie Containers
If you adore homemade cookies but you don't want to eat the entire batch in one setting (good for you, girl), you can keep them nice and moist by putting a piece of bread into whatever container you're keeping your cookies in. Finally, a purpose for the ends of your bread, huh?
7. Cut Small Produce with Plastic Lids
This is definitely one of my favorite food prep hacks. When you've got tiny veggies (like cherry tomatoes) that you want to cut without them sliding all over the place or you running the risk of nicking one of your fingers, just anchor them in between two plastic lids that are the same size. Then take your knife and slice everything horizontally in between the lids. After a couple of tries, you'll wonder where this hack has been all of your life.
8. Reheat Pizza in a Skillet
There's not enough time or space today to get into why it's best to cook with an oven/stove instead of a microwave (Wellness Mama has a pretty good read on this very topic here). One of the main reasons why I tossed mine is because, when I used to try and reheat food in there, I didn't like how hard everything got if I didn't eat my food in five minutes or less; especially foods like pizza. If, like me, you want to be able to thoroughly enjoy the crust the next day (or day after that), put a little oil in a cast iron skillet and heat up your pizza that way. It will make your pizza taste so much better than any microwave oven can do.
9. Use Mason Jars for Meal Prep
If you don't want a billion plastic containers in your kitchen cabinets, one way to store your salad and grain food prep ingredients is to put them in a couple of mason jars. Speaking of mason jars, if you're sick of your asparagus and celery turning all rubbery and droopy, if you pour about three inches of water into a mason jar and stick those stalks in there, they will remain fresher and last longer than if you didn't.
10. Store Your Pancake (or Cake) Batter in an Old Ketchup Bottle
Know what gets on my very last nerve? Trying to make pancakes but the bowl makes it hard to get the cakes as round as I'd like. A good solution is to store your batter in a big, old, empty ketchup bottle. That makes the batter easier to pour and, it's a much easier way to store any batter that might be leftover. By the way, this is a cool way to utilize your cake batter too.
11. Wrap Hard Tacos with Lettuce
Tacos are great. There is something that annoys TF outta me when it comes to them, though. It's the fact that it's hard to bite into a hard one without it falling apart and the filling falling all over the place. A way to avoid that is to wrap your tacos up into a leaf of romaine lettuce so that it catches all of what's inside of your taco for you. Or, if you're someone who struggles with even getting your taco off of your plate, all you've gotta do is put the sides of the shell into a couple of teeth of your fork and lift it up that way. Voila.
12. Put Your Popsicles in a Foil Cupcake Liner
Listen, I enjoy a good popsicle as much as any kid does. But when it starts to melt and get all sticky, that is more than just a little irritating. The solution? Ram your popsicle stick through a foil cupcake liner. That way, any of the drippings will fall into it rather than onto your hands. (Parents, you're welcome.)
Speaking of cupcake liners, if you cut a slit into non-foil ones, turn them upside down and put a straw through the slit, you now can enjoy your drinks while you're sitting outside because the glasses will be covered and you won't have to worry about flies or debris getting into them.
13. Turn Your Tongs into a Juicer
Money is tight out in these streets. If you want a juicer for convenience's sake, but it's just not in the budget right now, slice open your fruits, put each slice in between a pair of tongs and squeeze the juice out that way. You'll be able to get a good amount of freshly-squeezed juice without creating a mess in the process.
14. Cut Your Burgers with a Glass
Are you someone who likes to make fancy burgers? Like maybe one that has an egg in the middle of it, but the problem is you can never get raw meat to cooperate with you? If you want to make the circles perfectly round, here's an idea. Take one of your glasses, turn it upside down and cut through the middle of your burgers that way.
Speaking of meat, if you need to defrost some and you don't want it to take for-e-ver, try washing it off and then wrapping it up in some aluminum foil. Foil naturally draws heat to it, so it can help your meat become room temperature in a fraction of the time that it would take if you didn't wrap it up at all.
15. Have Fun with Your Ice Cubes
I've got on more and some might say that I saved the best for last. Even if you've got an ice maker on your fridge, still make sure to keep a couple of ice cube trays around. Use one tray to put leftover sauces (like pasta sauce) in. That way, they will last longer than being in the fridge and you'll be able to save more space in your freezer. Another cool ice cube hack is to pour your coffee into them. If you're a big fan of iced coffee, this will help you to enjoy it without it getting all watered down 'n stuff. Just put a couple of cubes into a glass, add some more freshly-brewed coffee and you're all set. A final hack is to mix some of your favorite milk (or milk alternative) with some crumbled-up cookies (like Oreos). Put the combo in your ice trays and set them in the freezer. Once everything is frozen, put a couple of cubes into your milk (or milk alternative) and you'll literally be drinking a tall glass of milk and cookies! Dope. Dope. DOPE.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
Mastering The Art Of Talking Your Partner Through Orgasm: A Guide To Confidence And Connection
I have never been particularly good at dirty talk, but I love, love, love hearing it. Whenever I am getting close to “finishing,” I cue my partner, breathlessly stating, “Talk to me” or “Tell me you want it.” What I didn't know until more recently is that I am asking them to “talk me through it.” But what exactly does that mean? How can you learn to do it, or better yet, how can you get your partner to do it for you? (Go ahead and send them a link to this article, sis!)
In today’s world, the conversation around sex and intimacy is evolving rapidly. Platforms like TikTok have brought once-taboo topics around sex and intimacy into the mainstream. Recently, some of the men on TikTok have been sharing tips on "talking your partner through orgasm"—using verbal cues to guide your partner to and through their climax. It’s not just about talking dirty, but about being in tune with your partner’s emotions and body, enhancing both the physical and emotional aspects of the experience.
For Black women, who often find themselves at the intersection of societal expectations and personal desires, the need for open communication in sexual relationships is especially important. Many of us aren’t sure how to ask for the verbal affirmations that excite us. So let's dive into how you can master this art form.
What Does It Mean to "Talk Your Partner Through It"?
Talking your partner through orgasm can look (or sound) like a few different things. It involves using words and verbal cues to guide them to climax. Unlike regular dirty talk, which may be more about fantasy or teasing, talking your partner through orgasm is about being present in the moment, offering guidance, affirmation, or even instructions as your partner reaches their peak.
Marcqwuan, a sex educator and relationship expert, explains it perfectly:
“For me, talking her through it is a moment within a sexual experience where your partner is climaxing, and you use that special moment to communicate with your partner. Every moment is different.”
But this form of dirty talk isn’t one size fits all. It should be tailored to your partner’s desires, kinks, and needs in the moment.
But why do people go wild for this type of dirty talk? Whitni Miller, Sex Educator and Pleasure Coach, emphasizes, “For starters, it creates a sense of emotional closeness. A little positive reinforcement can make her feel like a goddess. Plus, words have power, and when you turn up the volume on verbal cues, feelings of pleasure can get cranked to 11. And who doesn’t want a bit more oomph as they approach the finale?”
Our senses play an important role when it comes to sexual satisfaction, and hearing your partner whisper sweet nothings while you approach your “O” can help make a lasting impression that keeps you coming back again and again.
Why Dirty Talk Feels Awkward (And How to Get Over It)
For some of us, the idea of dirty talk, especially in a moment as intimate as orgasm, can feel awkward or unnatural. We may not be able to think of the right thing to say or even hesitate for fear of sounding corny. The concern of saying the wrong thing or ruining the mood often holds people back. But most of these barriers are all in our heads.
Dakota Ramppen, certified sex educator, acknowledges these challenges, stating, “Some people get stuck in their heads wondering if what they’re saying is sexy enough or if they sound ridiculous. That hesitation kills the vibe.” But, be aware, your partner may not always want to hear your voice when getting close to their big “O.” Dakota continues, “If she’s in a zone and you’re too forceful or not saying the right things, you could break her rhythm.”
Part of talking your partner through it requires conversation outside of the bedroom, so you can be clear and confident about what they want. The other piece is intuitive and takes watchful practice.
Overcoming that awkward feeling involves communication and repetition. Before diving into talking your partner through orgasm, have an open conversation about what kinds of phrases or cues your partner likes. Witni says, “Adjust your approach based on her responses…find out together what makes her tick!” Start with words or phrases that feel comfortable to you and build from there. It also doesn’t hurt to have a few key phrases memorized (more on this in a few.)
After all, your partner won’t know if your sweet words are preplanned or improvised.
For Him: Tips on Talking Her Through Orgasm
Fellas, this part is for you! When it comes to talking your woman through orgasm, the key is to be present and attentive to her needs and body language. It’s not just about saying something sexy—it’s about creating a connection and supporting her as she reaches her peak. Here are a few tips to guide you:
- Be Affirming: Use phrases that affirm her pleasure, such as “You’re so close” or “You feel amazing.” These words can reassure her that she’s in control and that you’re fully engaged in her experience.
- Stay in Tune: Pay attention to her body language and sounds. If she’s speeding up, match her energy with your words, encouraging her to follow through. As Marcqwuan suggests, “If she can’t hear you, get closer to her ear and speak louder.”
- Use Sensory Language: Highlight the physical sensations she’s experiencing. Try saying something like, “I love how your body feels right now.” Describing what you’re feeling can heighten her own sensory awareness.
- Be Encouraging: Reassure her that her pleasure is your priority. Phrases like “Let go for me” or “I want to feel it” help her feel supported and free to enjoy the moment.
For Her: Talking Him Through Orgasm
Women can also take the lead in talking to their male partners through orgasm. The key is confidence and being in tune with your partner’s preferences. Whitni walks us through some tips:
- Confidence is Key: Own the moment and don’t shy away from guiding him through his orgasm. Your partner will likely appreciate your assertiveness, which can enhance his experience.
- Tailor to His Preferences: Use what you know he enjoys most. If he likes teasing or encouragement, lean into that. Dakota suggests: “It’s about creating a verbal map that gets him exactly where he wants to go.”
- Compliment & Tease: Build anticipation with compliments like “You feel so good” or “I love the way you move.” This will increase his arousal and bring him closer to orgasm.
- Encourage Surrender: Use encouraging phrases like “Come for me” or “Give me everything.” This can help your partner let go and fully enjoy the moment.
Universal Best Practices
No matter your gender or role in the relationship, there are universal tips that can help you master the art of talking your partner through orgasm:
- Positive Reinforcement: Affirm your partner’s pleasure with words like “You’re doing so good” or “Don’t stop.” Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and trust.
- Read the Room: Adjust your approach based on your partner’s reactions. If they’re responding well to your words, keep going. If not, switch things up. As Dakota says, “It’s about feeling where they are and matching that energy.”
- Be Genuine: Your words don’t need to be performative. Speak from a place of genuine connection, and your partner will feel that authenticity.
- Experiment and Have Fun: Don’t be afraid to try new phrases or approaches. Every experience is different, and what works today might evolve tomorrow.
Talking your partner through orgasm is a powerful way to deepen intimacy and create a lasting emotional connection. But it's not all about just talking! As Whitni shared, “And don’t forget your listening ears; tuning in to your partner’s needs will keep the experience flowin' and growin'.” It’s about more than just dirty talk—it’s about being present, engaged, and in tune with your partner’s needs.
So the next time you’re in the heat of the moment, don’t be afraid to use your words. You might just find that they’re the key to unlocking a deeper, more satisfying connection.
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