I never thought I would be writing an article about my personal health issues, let alone one about my journey with uterine fibroids.
My story started three years ago when I had an ultrasound displaying various growths comprised of muscle and fibrous tissue called uterine fibroids. Before the ultrasound, I wasn't familiar with the term "fibroid" and the full extent of damage they may cause. Each year during my annual exam, my doctor would casually mention the growths were harmless and that she will monitor them.
That was until they grew and started occupying my entire precious uterus.
What my doctor conveniently forgot to mention was that if fibroids are present and continue to grow, they eventually have to be removed or treated via a myomectomy (the surgical removal of fibroids only), a hysterectomy (the surgical removal of the entire uterus), or a heavy dose of hormone suppression drugs that have side effects of early menopause.
Fast-forward to January 2016, not surprisingly, I started to have some of the symptoms associated with fibroids like frequent urination, constipation, and abdominal bloating. Waking up in the morning with my stomach resembling a pregnant woman in her final trimester is not my idea of bringing sexy back. This was my official wake-up call and the next day I made an appointment with my gynecologist.
During the examination, the doctor was not alarmed by the current size of my stomach and used medical phrases like, "It's 18 weeks in size." She also shared some of her previous surgeries she performed to remove fibroids. After explaining her prize-winning watermelon-sized fibroid removal story, she proceeded to give me my only two pitiful options: surgery or drugs.
I'm not completely sure why doctors tell patients to treat fibroids like they are a normal occurrence and we have nothing to worry about – when they really should say to us that they actually are and that we actually do. Perhaps, it gives them the green light to perform surgery or prescribe us a new “clinical trial" hormone suppressant drug the pharmaceutical rep bribed them to try out in exchange for a trip to Aruba – but I digress.
What immediately started to replay in my head is the fact that I'm a 36-year-old African-American single female with no kids.
Photo Credit: Carrie Strong
What am I going to do?
Being a woman with a full active life, and feeling that I wanted to "keep my original parts," surgery and taking medicine was not an option for me. So, I kindly told my gynecologist to keep her geeked-up surgery stories to herself and I will see her in one month. At the time, I walked out of the hospital scared and confused af but also determined as hell to shrink the abnormal demons trying to set up shop within my feminine goodies.
My first step was to consult several doctors to get a second and third opinion, only to receive the same response: surgery or drugs. Really???
So, I took matters into my own hands and engulfed myself in research. I found out an alarming statistic: over 80% of women will be diagnosed with fibroids by the age of 50. I wondered why. What is the root cause?
During my research, I stumbled across the key that unlocked my healing. There's a direct correlation between fibroids, the function of your liver, and estrogen imbalance. Basically, the foods we consume play a major part in the development and growth of uterine fibroids. If dietary choices can so drastically impact my fibroid suffering, imagine what simple nutritional changes could do for my body.
From that day forward, I made a conscious decision to not let anything or anyone stand in my way. Operation "Get Healed" was officially in full effect and here's how I did it.
My 7-Step Holistic Regimen
- Drastically limit your consumption of simple carbohydrates, refined sugar, and processed foods.
- Incorporate organic foods as much as possible. Food packed with hormones, specifically meat, feed the fibroid.
- Juice beets, spinach, kale, ginger, and turmeric daily to detox the liver. Also add fresh turmeric to your juice and tea. Likewise, you can take 3 or more turmeric capsule 3x daily. This will decrease inflammation and stop excessive bleeding and pain. I add raw turmeric to my dandelion root tea every day.
- Take an active dose of systemic enzymes 3x daily. My dosage consists of 12 pills daily (6 in the morning and 6 at night). This has aided tremendously in dissolving my fibroids.
- Exercise a minimum of 30 mins daily four to five times a week.
- Avoid consuming anything packaged in plastic. Bottled water is the major culprit of estrogen imbalance.
- THE MOST EFFECTIVE TREATMENT: Do castor oil packs every other day. I use Jamaican black castor oil by Island Tropic. Click here for more information on what castor oil can do for your fibroids.
Bonus Tip: Weight control and diet helped to decrease the fibroids. A diet that limits red meat and is rich in green leafy vegetables, fruit, and fish is VERY beneficial. Some of my favorite elimination guides can be found on gochefahki.com and fibroidelimination.com.
So where am I now?
Well, I'm happy to report that after a month of delving into my holistic practices, the fibroids have decreased significantly in size and my symptoms are almost non-existent. Incorporating a fibroid elimination regimen has been my saving grace. But I must confess, it's not easy and dedication along with consistency is KEY!!!!
Photo Credit: Carrie Strong
My regimen might be considered drastic but my goal is to live a FULL life fibroid-free. In retrospect, being diagnosed was a definite eye-opener and a blessing in disguise. I now live a conscious lifestyle and I am completely aware of the foods I consume and the chemicals my body is exposed to on a daily basis. I'm excited to be on the road to recovery and feeling like myself again! More importantly, I am here to provide hope to women dealing with the same issue and offer encouragement through writing this post.
Like myself, you can take full control over your health and walk into a new life healed!
*Originally published on velvetlope.com
Eureka Calhoun is the owner and operator of Velvet Lope Styling, LLC. Velvet Lope Styling is a wardrobe styling and image consulting company dedicated to the modern day man and woman looking to upgrade their visual presentation through expert styling. Follow her on her social media platforms @velvetlope and @qrushvelvet and visit her website velvetlope.com.
Photos courtesy of Eureka Calhoun; featured image by Getty Images
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Ding. Ding. DING.
A life coach by the name of Thomas Leonard once said that “Clarity affords focus” and, believe you me, when it comes to dealing with other human beings, if you don’t get clear on where you stand when it comes to your interactions with them, you can very easily find yourself “focusing too much” on those who don’t deserve it and too little on those who absolutely do. And y’all, this lil’ PSA couldn’t be more relevant than when it comes to what I call “casual friendships.”
Let’s dig — and for some of us, dig our way out of — what it means to have a casual friend, so that you can get clear on if you really need those in your life…and if so…why?
Article continues after the video.
It Can’t Be Said Enough: Always Remember What “Casual” Means
GiphyThere’s a reason why I decided to share two videos by mental health coach Isaiah Frizzle at the top and bottom of this article. It’s because a lot of what he shares in both of them complements a piece that I wrote for the platform last year entitled, “This Is Just What Purposeful Relationships Look Like.”
It’s the author M. Scott Peck who once said, “Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it” and please believe that the older (and hopefully more mature) you get, the more you tend to see just how valuable — and fleeting — time is; and that is what plays a huge role in motivating you want to only involve yourself with people, places, things and ideas that will honor your time — and when something is casual? In my opinion, it’s highly debatable that it’s worth much of your months, days, hours, or even too many of your minutes.
The main reason why is addressed in an article that I wrote back in the day entitled, “We Should Really Rethink The Term 'Casual Sex.'” The gist? When it comes to relationships, “casual” is certainly not a favorite word of mine because I know what it means. Have mercy — why would you want to invest your time, energy, and emotions into something that is, by definition, apathetic, indifferent, careless, lacking emotional intimacy, and/or is without purpose?
I don’t know about y’all but that sounds like a complete and total crap shoot to me — especially if you are going to go so far as to consider this type of dynamic a true friendship (check out “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” “5 Signs Of A Toxic Friendship That Is Secretly Poisoning Your Life,” “12 Friend Facts That Might Cause You To Rethink (Some Of) Your Own,” and “Less & Less Of Us Have Close Friends These Days. Why Is That?” ).
To me, when you decide to call someone “friend,” it means that they are loyal, reliable, consistent, trustworthy and willing to be there to support you to the very best of their ability — even if it’s inconvenient to do so sometimes (check out “Life Taught Me That True Friendships Are 'Inconvenient'”). How in the world can you expect that from something that has the word “casual” in it?
And you know what? That actually segues into my next point about casual friendships pretty darn well.
Ponder the Purpose “Casual Friends” Serve in Your Life
GiphyA couple of years ago, Verywell Mind published an article entitled, “How the 4 Types of Friendship Fit Into Your Life.” The four that it listed were acquaintances (which I actually don’t consider to be friends; check out “6 Differences Between A Close Acquaintance And An Actual Friend”), casual friends, close friends, and lifelong friends. After reading the piece, I think they consider casual friends to be the “pleasure” friends that I mentioned in the article, “According To Aristotle, We Need ‘Utility’, ‘Pleasure’ & ‘Good’ Friends.”
And although I certainly get that, I think my “cause for pause” is calling those people “friends” when they probably should be called something like an associate or possibly even a buddy instead. Why do I feel this way? Well, I’ve shared in other articles that I think social media has jacked up vocabulary words and their true meaning on a billion different levels.
Take “friend,” for example. Facebook had us out here calling everyone we connected to on their platform “friends” when some of them, we’ve never even spoken to before — and I personally think that influenced, affected and perhaps even infected our psyche to the point where we will call folks, both online and off, “friend” even when they haven’t earned it and/or who possibly don’t deserve it.
That said, do I think that we all could use lighthearted interactions that don’t go very deep and are filled with not much more than fun? Sure. However, if we were to move this over into a sexual thing — those types of people would probably be called a sneaky link, and there is nothing significant or substantial about ‘em. In fact, if anything pretty much automatically comes with an expiration date, sneaky links would have to be it.
And that’s kind of the point that I’m trying to make about a casual friend — so long as you know that the word “casual” is being used to describe them, while you may enjoy the people who fit that bill, they aren’t really anything that you can or even should fully rely on. Instead, take them for what they are and don’t really expect much more than that. Otherwise, you could be in for some profound levels of disappointment. And who wants that?
Final point.
How a Casual Friend Can Become a Huge Red Flag
GiphyI’m telling you, y’all gonna quit clowning Tubi. LOL. To me, the best way to describe it is it’s the Cricket of current streaming apps. What I mean by that is, back when Cricket (the cell phone service) first came out, people, like me, who used it service got incessantly clowned because it was seen as a bootleg provider. Now it’s owned by AT&T, and as someone who has rocked with them since I was in my 20s, I don’t have one regret for doing so. Cricket has always been good to me, chile.
And Tubi? Well, when you get a chance, check out CNBC’s article, “CEO at 33, Tubi’s Anjali Sud on success hacks she learned at Amazon, IAC on way to top of Fox streaming” — take note of the moves the streaming app is making and the quality of programming that is transpiring in real time.
Anyway, I find myself bringing up Tubi more and more in my content because it helps to amplify some of the points that I like to make. This time, it’s a movie that’s (currently) on there calledRight Man, Wrong Woman. If you haven’t seen it before, I don’t want to give too much of the film away. What I will say is that the main female character, she had a casual friend and then she had a close friend.
That casual friend—the one who liked to kick it all of the time—was a lot of fun; however, dealing with her came with a ton of semi-unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, the close friend? She’s what the Aristotle article (that I mentioned earlier) would call the “good friend” because she tried her best to hold her friend accountable.
And really, it shouldn’t be a shock that the casual friend turned out to be a plum trip because if someone is loads of entertainment and pleasure and yet they are indifferent towards you, they make careless decisions around you and/or they don’t really make known the purpose for you being in their life other than to pass some time — where really do you and that person have to go past drinks after work or dinner on a rooftop restaurant from time to time? And if that is all that the two of you are doing, again, why are they deserving of the word “friend”?
Hmph and don’t get me started on the lack of reciprocity that typically transpires when it comes to dealing with people like this because, while they won’t mind you spending your coins on them, taking their calls in the middle of the night or listening to all of their issues — when it comes time for them to show up for you, they very well may gaslight you into thinking that you are being dramatic, clingy or “doing the most.” Why? Well, it’s mostly because the two of you never really established what the hell the both of you are to one another.
And so, while you’re somewhere taking them seriously, they are out here seeing you casually, and as much as it might hurt to hear, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. You shouldn’t expect much where no clarity is involved. After all, casual is just that: CASUAL.
____
I’m hoping that you can now see why I entitled this piece in the way that I did. It’s because a red flag is pretty much a warning, and to me, a casual friend is about as big of an oxymoron (again, to me) as casual sex is. Friends and sex are both too intimate to be seen or treated casually. Oh, but if you step out and take that risk, you could find yourself getting far more involved than the other individual ever wanted to go, because casual is how things have always been. “Friend” was simply to get you more mentally and emotionally invested. SMDH.
American columnist Walter Winchell once said, “A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” A wise person once said, “One good friendship will outlive forty average loves." Former President Ulysses S. Grant once said, “The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” Does any of this sound casual to you? Yeah, me neither.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have people in your life who aren’t on deep levels. I’m just saying that you might want to consider putting them into another category than friend, because what friends do for people? There ain’t nothin’ even remotely casual about it, sis. Not even a lil’ bit.
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