Cultivating An Attitude Of Gratitude Needs To Be Your Forever Mood
Gratitude can be defined as the quality of being thankful. It's most commonly emphasized during the month of November in the midst of the arrival of Thanksgiving, but it should be embraced year-round. Negative emotions like worry, doubt, complaining, etc can take front and center in the day to day of most people's lives. Practicing gratitude takes the backseat. When you really think about it, how often do we dedicate time to reflect and appreciate the blessings in our lives? All of the good things, even the little things?
If you're looking for a shift in your attitude, happiness, and attraction of positivity in your life - practicing the power of gratitude may be the ideal start.
The Science Of Gratitude
Gratitude is arguably, the “ultimate positive emotion". Gratitude is strongly associated with different aspects of psychological and physical well-being. According to research, grateful people have more positive emotion, life satisfaction, vitality, optimism, pleasant feelings, empathy, generosity, and less depression and stress.
In her book, The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky discusses eight ways gratitude boosts happiness:
- Gratitude promotes savoring positive life experiences.
- Gratitude may increase a sense of confidence and self-worth, by encouraging you to consider what you value about your current life.
- Gratitude helps you cope with difficulties.
- Gratitude encourages kindness and other moral behavior.
- Gratitude helps strengthen relationships.
- Gratitude inhibits envy.
- Gratitude helps undermine negative emotions.
- Gratitude keeps us from taking the good things for granted.
The Power Of Shifting Your Thoughts
How often do you inadvertently create negative situations in your mind and thought patterns, without ever considering the positive outlook? For example, as women age, we have been conditioned to feel negative about “getting older" or saying goodbye to our “glory days". I began to adopt this habit during my mid-twenties when I honestly felt I had no other life-changing milestones to look forward to. I remember incessantly complaining about reaching my mid-twenties a few years ago, but what changed my thought pattern around this negative emotion was my mother.
At almost 60 years old, she has always proudly professed her age and celebrates aging each year with gratitude. It reveals how she feels about herself, healthy, vibrant, and beautiful. She conditioned her mind to correlate birthdays with gratitude because of a very important notion my grandmother taught her when she was a young adult.“Birthdays are a blessing. God granted you another year to live in your fullness. Every day and every year you grow older is a gift from God that is unfortunately not granted to everyone."
Can you see how this very small shift in the context of your thoughts and expression can inspire you to view the positivity in a certain circumstance?
The 21-Day Gratitude Challenge
Practicing daily gratitude is a positive psychological intervention you can work towards incorporating in your daily lifestyle. It requires very little commitment, just simply a shift in your attitude and deliberate mindfulness. It begins with looking at all situations whether good or bad from a positive perspective. Will you begin to look at the glass as half full or half empty? Looking at the glass as half-full will allow you to discover unforeseen opportunities, benefits, and positive outlooks for any situation.
Your inspiration to practice gratitude can be derived from a religious or spiritual context. One persistent theme within the power of gratitude is “appreciating what you have in order to attract more". Your positive energy will shift, therefore your positive energy and outcomes will shift too.
If you're ready to shift your mindset, you can check out a few gratitude challenges here, here, and here.
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Keisha Faulkner based out of Philadelphia, is the Founder & CEO of The Holistic Lioness & Co, a catalyst for health and wellness ideas, programs and community engagement for millennial women of color. Follow THL on IG: @theholisticlioness + Facebook: /theholisticlioness
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Why We'll Probably Never Hear Lupita Nyong'o Share Her Relationship With The World
Lupita Nyong'o is sharing a transparent look into her life after a recent breakup.
In a cover story for NET-A-PORTER, the A Quiet Place: Day One star shed light on the significant heartbreak she experienced following the end of her relationship with ex-boyfriend and TV host, Selema Masekela.
As a public figure, Nyong'o, 39, sought to divulge the news of the breakup in hopes of presenting a more authentic perspective on the pain that follows a separation.
"I was living in a lot of pain and heartbreak," she told the publication. "I looked at the environment of my social media and thought I don’t want to be a part of this illusion that everything is always coming up roses. Surely there is a lesson for me to learn in this, and I just want to be real about it."
The Black Panther star went on to explain that her choice to be transparent with her fans about her breakup came from the certainty she felt after ending the relationship. “In my mind, when I shared my relationship status with the world, it was because I felt sure about it,” she said.
While she didn’t know how the news would land with her fans, she found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her experience.
“I knew how it could be interpreted; I knew it would have a life of its own,” she reflects. “But then I started to see the comments and people were being so loving and supportive. The ones that moved me the most were other people sharing their pain and their heartbreak.”
Nyong'o and Masekela went Instagram official in December 2022, publicly announcing their relationship in a couple's video. In October 2023, Nyong'o took to her personal Instagram account to share the news of her breakup in her caption, writing, "At this moment, it is necessary for me to share a personal truth and publicly dissociate myself from someone I can no longer trust.”
She continued the vulnerable note, "I find myself in a season of heartbreak because of a love suddenly and devastatingly extinguished by deception. I am tempted to run into the shadows and hide, only to return to the light when I have regained my strength enough for me to say, 'Whatever, my life is better this way.' But I am reminded that the magnitude of the pain I am feeling is equal to the measure of my capacity for love."
These days, Nyong'o tells NET-A-PORTER that she is prioritizing profound self-discovery that extends beyond her career. She notes having a deliberate and unhurried approach to understanding herself.
She also alludes to keeping her relationships private moving forward after noting it was "very, very sage" of her not to talk about her private life professionally in the days before her last relationship. "I'm going back to those days by the way," Nyong'o shares of her reinstated boundaries around her personal life.
Earlier this month, Nyong'o made headlines alongside her new boyfriend actor Joshua Jackson. Nyong'o and Jackson went through public splits from their respective SOs in October 2023, with the latter splitting from his long-time partner Jodie Turner-Smith following her divorce filing from the Dawson's Creek alum.
The pair have been spotted together as early as December 2023, but nothing screamed "couple" quite as loudly as their recent getaway to Mexico for Nyong'o's 41st birthday featuring passionate displays of affection.
"Our purpose in life is to love. And so you have to get back in it," she tells the outlet, seemingly alluding to her budding new romance.
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/Getty Images