

I don't know about you but lately my timeline has been flooded with images of Parisian promenades, Southeast Asian rice fields, and clear blue Caribbean seas.
This generation is definitely on a travel wave and everybody wants to take a ride, including me.
Here's the issue: my pockets are tight. When you hear the words "international travel," your first thought is probably dollar signs on dollar signs. Traveling abroad can evoke a certain level of luxury in which your wallet is not familiar.
While I've traveled frequently in the past, the last couple of years have been slow. My biggest priority has been just paying my ridiculous NYC rent on time. But Thailand was heavy on my mind and I was NOT going to let my pitiful bank account stop me.
Where there is a will, there is a financially feasible way.
With any trip, the biggest expenses are transportation, lodging, and leisure, and there are ways to maneuver through these potential pitfalls to have the international trip of your dreams. Keep reading for a comprehensive guide of how to budget for any international trip.
Transportation
airplane on sky during golden hour
Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash
Getting There and Back
There's a website called Rome2Rio that gives you the full play by play on the cost of going from point A to B by plane, trains, and other automobiles. It's a great starting point. Once you've narrowed down your cheapest options, you can buy your tickets right from the site.
If you're not ready to buy just yet, download Hopper on your phone. It sends you periodic notifications on the best time to buy your ticket for the cheapest fare.
Flexible on time and place? You can look up cheap airfare on Skyscanner without indicating specifics. This site is perfect for those who just need to travel and don't care when or where. I relied heavily on Skyscanner to book my round trip ticket to Bangkok for only $600.
Local Transportation
Okay, so you're in your travel destination. How do you get around without paying crazy expensive taxi fares? No matter what city I travel to, I make use of two very important modes of transportation: public transit, and my own two feet.
Let's talk about public transit. It's become increasingly popular to use those Hop On, Hop Off tourist vehicles and while I see the appeal, they are just totally unnecessary. Why spend $50 to sightsee when you can catch a local bus or subway for $2? It may seem scary but you will see more of the authentic, less touristy parts of town and you will become incredibly familiar with the city.
But the absolute BEST way to travel for cheap is to walk. Crazy idea, right? Most cities outside of the US, and especially in Europe, are very pedestrian friendly. You can spend a day strolling leisurely from one historical monument to the next. You never know what you might stumble upon. A gorgeous field of lavender, a quaint restaurant that sells regional cuisine, or a hip bar for when happy hour strikes. So if you're physically able and the weather permits, I highly recommend making it your main mode of transportation.
BONUS: I haven't done this, but bike renting is another great option.
Short-Distance Travel
Since I was traveling to several cities in a short amount of time, part of the stress was figuring out the shortest yet most cost efficient way to get there. At this stage in my life, I value price over convenience. While an hour plane ride sounds lovely, $200 does not.
My advice: take a sleeper train. I ended up finding a $20 ticket to Chiang Mai from Bangkok. Yes, it's a grueling 14 hours BUT I chose an overnight train. I left at 8pm and woke up the next morning to see the sunrise over the beautiful Thai countryside. Not a bad way to wake up.
I did however (luckily) find a $30 dollar flight from Chiang Mai to Krabi Beach through Air Asia. So cheap airfare is possible as well.
Lodging
photo of brown bench near swimming pool
Photo by Sara Dubler on Unsplash
Hotels can be pricey and lack personality. For the most part, I love using AirBnB. Its popularity stems from not only the budget-friendly options but also it's "home away from home" level of comfort. But don't discount hotels, you could find some cost-efficient gems!
Since I traveled to Thailand solo, I really wanted to be around people so I opted for hostels throughout my trip. Honestly, I don't LOVE hostels. Sharing a room with 4+ strangers feels like summer camp. But it's crazy affordable. And for this particular trip, my hostels helped me find new buddies to explore the city with. And they instantly connect you with people from all over the world with really amazing stories. I also found really nice hostels with private bathrooms, high speed internet and WiFi, free breakfast, and a handful of other great accommodations.
Leisure
woman on body of water during daytime
Photo by Chelsea Gates on Unsplash
This could arguably become the most expensive part of your trip but it's also the one where you have the most financial control. For vacation, I always take out cash and refrain from using my credit cards. This allows me to stay in my budget, as well as physically keep track of my spending.
Food and Drinks
If you follow my advice from housing, breakfast is already taken care of. But for lunch and dinner, you have to be careful not to overspend. Don't ball out for every meal. Be on the lookout for lunch or dinner specials and grab something light and inexpensive every now and then.
For drinks, utilize happy hours to the best of your ability but you also don't always have to buy from the bar. While I was in Krabi Beach, my new hostel friends and I grabbed a bottle of wine from a local store and just laid on the beach with our toes in the sand, watching the sunset over the sea. Way more memorable that way.
Activities
They say the best things in life are free. Depending on the city, this may be easier said than done. But before you travel, always look up a list of inexpensive or practically free activities. For large cities, Timeout is a great reference. For smaller cities, ask locals for advice. Locals know best after all.
Like I said, I went to Thailand by myself. So I wanted a more activity driven trip where I could meet other people as opposed to just lounging around alone. For this reason, TripAdvisor became my best friend. Based on the reviews of others, you can see whether an activity, excursion, or sight is worth your time and money. Thanks to TripAdvisor, I found the perfect company to book a day trip with rescued elephants and a high-speed boat tour around Phi Phi Islands.
In conclusion, traveling on a budget is more feasible than you realize. All it takes is serious financial control and proper planning. If the idea of planning your own travel totally overwhelms you and you don't mind dropping some coins, I highly recommend looking into group travel programs.
However, if you want an experience tailored to your personal interests and finances, it's best to DIY. Because of my extreme budgeting, I was able to live my best life and do this...
And do this.
And this, too.
Happy Traveling!
Featured image by Manuel Moreno on Unsplash
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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