A dollar and a dream can be invaluable if correctly put to use. In many cases, that's the only thing in this world we are offered. We work the grind, 9-5, all so that we can invest a couple of dollars into our own vision for our dream. That dream for you may mean a paid-off mortgage or a closet full of Louis Vuitton, but for Sanicole Young, that dream was to create a more inclusive landscape for black women in the film industry.
The Chicago-based filmmaker's latest film, Training Wheels, was the result of Sanicole's largest and most lucrative self-investment yet.
Training Wheels is a film based on the childhood experiences of Sanicole, who is depicted by a gorgeous little brown-skinned girl with psychic powers who is determined to bring her wayward father back home. A story that was once a memory in the young director's mind has now been transformed into a vision that will touch the minds of many, but that dream didn't come to fruition without making the decision to invest in herself. She said:
"I've always known it was important for me to invest in myself, because as I thrive in my career doing independent things, there were items I had to buy [in] order to achieve what I had to achieve. [Self-investment] has always been an important concept for me," she said. "As far as just major sacrifice, it was more so the passion that I had behind what I wanted to do. It was that driving that decision more so than anything. It was the first big step I needed to take in order to get to the finished product of what I was trying to do."
"Self-investment has always been an important concept for me."
Sanicole has successfully transformed what started as a dollar and a dream into a plan of action with concrete goals. She has since gained the entry to some of the country's most prestigious film festivals, and garnered the attention of celebrities like Lil' Rel and Ava Duvernay, and the young filmmaker says that this is only the beginning.
Sanicole Young is proof that self-investment is key to success, and xoNecole got a chance to sit down with the young trailblazer to discuss how she got a 10-fold tenfold return on her initial contribution. San said despite popular belief, believing in yourself isn't always as easy as it seems, and it takes a whole lot of belief to drop a check on a vision that others can't see. She told us:
"It was really a scary step, it wasn't an easy to make that decision because I could have done a million different things with that money," she told us. "But I believed in my idea very strongly, I believed talent strongly. And I felt like I deserved to take a shot. And you only get one shot. I didn't want to look back and regret not moving forward and really making the sacrifice."
A dollar and a dream may be a good starting point, but passion and consistency are needed to cross the finish line.
Sanicole stated, "You are going to have doubt. But the faith in your idea has to be bigger than that doubt. You have to really believe that you will win. I know that sounds cliche, but I've had to wonder whether or not this would be lucrative to me, and I got to a place where I was okay with failing if I failed. Because I wanted to take the shot so bad."
"The faith in your idea has to be bigger than doubt… I was okay with failing if I failed."
Training Wheels
It was at that point that Sanicole shot decided to shoot her shot and ultimately, the budding visionary scored in a major way. Thanks to a number of side hustles and a few sleepless nights, she had finally earned the money she needed to bring her dreams to fruition without even realizing it.
"It's weird because at the time, I had never really even been good at saving money. I'll be honest. And it was crazy how I was willingly saving it. Like, I really didn't even have plans for that money. And I always had my idea, but I never really put them together. I just knew at some point, I'm gonna have to pay for this film. But then, the more I was like working the craft and writing the story, and the more excited about it, it was like man, I started to believe it. Every revision was getting better and better. "
Training Wheels
With $5,000, a heart full of ambition, and a brilliant idea, the formula for her biggest film yet had been concocted.
Only one thing was missing: the rest of the money.
Although her contribution was enough to get started and cover pre-production for Training Wheels, there were still a number of costs that needed to be covered before the project was complete. This left Sanicole at a crossroads, filled with the same self-doubt and inadequacy that we all feel when we've done all we can and it isn't enough. But God came thru, honey.
"When I cut the trailer, I knew I had to raise some money. So, I cut that trailer so many times, and I was letting people watch it and they gave me their feedback. I was just trying to get it perfect. When I got it to a place where I felt like it was the best it could be, I released my indiegogo and I released my trailer and I got an overwhelming response of support that I had never received. That was a very accomplishing moment."
San says that despite her recent success and accreditation, she is most grateful for the connection she's been able to make with her audience.
"Not even just getting into film festivals, I'm not even that far.," she explained. "I felt accomplished just by people connecting to something that I had personally experienced and they were like, 'Oh yeah me too, and let me give you some money and help you finish this.' That was gratifying - not just meeting my goal in four days, - but just connecting to people and really watching my art come alive and touch people. That was big for me. When people really rock with something that you do, they really reach out and thank you for sharing that because they've experienced that too."
Sanicole Young turned her dollar and a dream into a vision for investors, and thanks to her persistence and determination, has garnered executive producers for her film including but not limited to KevOnStage, Lil' Rel, and even some of her own mentors. She is a reminder that self-investment is priceless, and when you truly believe in yourself, you can earn a return on that investment that's beyond your imagination. San had this piece of advice for other women who struggle with the burden of their own aspirations:
"Whatever your heart desires, don't let your inability to recognize your own strength stop you from taking a leap of faith to do what you love."
The short film's opening night will be during the Black Harvest Film Festival at the Siskel Film Center in Chicago on August 4th. If you're in town and you're down to relish in some black girl magic, this event is definitely not something you want to miss. Check out the trailer below:
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
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Unmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
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Okay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
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If off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
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A friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
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It’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
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I once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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