This Gynecologist Is Empowering Our Women To Take Their Sexual Health In Their Own Hands
Chimson "Dr. Chimmy" Oleka is passionate about helping girls and young women better understand their bodies and reproductive systems.
As an adolescent and pediatric gynecologist, she works daily to diagnose conditions, build treatment plans, and inspire by action through education. In addition to her duties as a 30-something practicing doctor, the University of Louisville graduate has spoken on topics related to fertility, sexually transmitted diseases, self-confidence, and vaginal health for organizations and entities including Texas Children's Hospital, 100 Black Men, and the Children's National Health System.
"One of the things that I really love about it is that I have the opportunity to empower and to be a positive influence on young women during one of the most critical time periods of their lives," Dr. Oleka told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "I think [the reason] I have an interest in this topic and other topics as it relates to adolescent development is because a lot of the time, who we become as adolescents affects who we become as adults."
Featured image by Janelle Alesia Photography
What's significant about what Dr. Oleka does daily is the impact of conversations she gets to have with her patients, all 21 and under. Being a Nigerian-American with a sense of today's trends and an active knowledge of the power of music, social media, and culture has helped her connect with her patients and boost relatability. And the impact goes beyond the physical and into the mental.
"Let's say I walk in and a girl who looks like me sees that I have braids and she has her hair in braids. When I say, 'Hey, I love your braids,' I just see her become relaxed and she opens up," Dr. Oleka said. "I did have one patient tell me that I look like Megan Thee Stallion—I don't (laughs)—but I think it was nice for her that I even knew who that is. One of the questions I ask patients is, 'What do you want to be or what change do you want to bring to the world?' A lot of them say, 'I want to be an OB-GYN or a doctor.' And I don't know if they're saying that just because I'm asking but I think it's nice that they're setting their sights high. I hope that maybe their interaction with me will influence [their aspirations] in a positive way."
Raised by a father who worked as a dean in higher education and a mother who enjoyed a career as a labor-and-delivery nurse, Dr. Oleka has always held the belief that strengthening the mind goes hand-in-hand with the body.
"My dad used to tell me that knowledge is power. What you're able to learn about yourself, especially as a teenager, is empowering," Oleka says. "You develop this confidence in who you are and you find out what's inside of you is stronger than anything that's around you or that comes to you. That's what resilience is, and I love that. I have the opportunity to introduce that through gynecology. I fell in love with being able to just walk women through different aspects of the things that we go through—empowering women through education, empathy, and compassion."
Featured image by Janelle Alesia Photography
"I fell in love with being able to just walk women through different aspects of the things that we go through—empowering women through education, empathy, and compassion."
Women of color face several challenges when it comes to reproductive health, including disparities in instances of life-altering fibroids, infant mortality and gynecological cancers. One other major issue Dr. Oleka sees among young women of color is contraception coercion, which she describes as the "sabotage of contraceptive methods, pregnancy coercion or pregnancy pressure."
"What that looks like is sabotaging contraceptive methods—where you have a partner trying to actively interfere with their partner's contraceptive methods—to promote a pregnancy," she says. "[It can be] hiding, withholding or destroying oral contraceptives or a contraceptive patch or poking holes in condoms. It can also mean taking the condom off during sex or not withdrawing when that was agreed upon. And then finally the pressure [manifests as] behavior that comes in the way of threatening or acts of violence if the pregnant partner doesn't comply with certain wishes."
Dr. Oleka talks candidly with girls and young women about boosting their self-esteem and gaining knowledge about their bodies or options they have based on their goals or situation, and she's a strong believer in women advocating for and supporting one another through open conversations, consistent doctor's visits and sharing information in a way that is welcoming, authoritative and caring. The sooner women start to open lines of communication with one another as mothers, sisters, aunts, peers and mentors, the better.
"Educate yourself on reproductive health, on understanding that and really seeking to empower girls as it relates to being the most authentic version of themselves," Dr. Oleka urges. "Figure out who you are and allow yourself that space and opportunity to grow—to make mistakes and to learn from them. Once you know who you are, once you're comfortable with learning and growing, it becomes less about what people on the outside are saying or pressuring you and more about, 'Well, what do I think? What do I want to achieve?' I think [it's really about] just validating a young girl's feelings, validating their need for growth. That's the key."
To learn more and keep up with Dr. Chimmy's journey, check out her website and follow her Instagram @withlove_drchimmy.
Featured image by Janelle Alesia Photography.
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Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Tasha Smith On Why Your Self-Worth Is Your Greatest Asset In Relationships
If the definition of BOOM needed a photo next to it, it better be Tasha Smith’s face.
Tasha Smith, 53, the actress known for her captivating performances and outspoken personality, has become a beloved figure in the entertainment industry. Her portrayal of the fierce and fabulous Angela in the hit movie Why Did I Get Married? is nothing short of iconic.
Beyond her role in the Tyler Perry film, Smith has established herself as a versatile actress with a range of impressive credits to her name. She has consistently delivered powerful performances in both film and television, showcasing her ability to embody complex characters and bring their stories to life.
Off-screen, Smith is equally captivating. She is known for her candid and outspoken nature, never shying away from speaking her truth. Her authenticity and willingness to address important issues have made her a role model for many.
Lucky for us, she brings that authentic energy no matter the occasion. Tasha had us saying “Amen” and “Amen again” while listening to a resurfaced interview with Donni Wiggins on the Fully Transparent podcast. There, she talked about starring in Bad Boys: Ride or Die, working with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, and being a powerhouse.
One commenter shared, “Tasha Smith needs to have her own talk show and or motivational conferences!” and we couldn’t agree more. Keep reading for some gems that stuck with us!
Tasha Smith On Self-Worth and Resilience:
“Don’t let any man burn you out or make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t take 'no' from anybody. Period. I mean it, honey. When things go wrong, don’t stay down for too long. Let the comeback be quick and big, honey. Big. We’re resilient. We are.”
On Understanding Your Value:
“You have to understand your value. Sometimes, when things don’t go right in relationships, we, as women, tend to blame ourselves. But why does that have to be the case? I remember talking to a woman who said her guy cheated on her. I told her, ‘He didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ She looked at me confused, and I said it again, ‘He cheated because he didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ That behavior has nothing to do with you—it’s about him trying to feel better about himself.”
On The Power of Boundaries:
“If we understood our value, we’d have more boundaries, and we wouldn’t accept so much. You know what I mean? Because, honestly, we create bad behavior by what we allow. Women ask, ‘Why does he keep doing that?’ Well, because you keep letting him. The apologies are working, and those apologies come with more demonic ones.”
On Breaking the Cycle of “Sorry”:
“Once you get delivered from one 'sorry,' if you keep the door open, more will come in—stronger and harder to overcome. Before you know it, you’re stuck in that 'sorry' space. If you truly understood your value, you’d be quicker to walk away.”
On Moving Forward with Self-Respect:
“For me, at this point in my life, I’m not spinning the block anymore. You can’t just keep spinning the block. You have to have self-respect, boundaries, and a sense of your own worth. If you don’t value yourself, trust and believe a man won’t value you either.”
Watch the podcast interview in full below:
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Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images