We Asked 20 Single Women How They're Spending The Holidays, Here's What They Said
Let’s keep it real: being single during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re missing out—at all! xoNecole recently chatted with 20 single women about their holiday plans, and trust me, the energy was uplifting. Sure there were some emotions about being single, but these women are living life.
While social media fills our feeds with couples in matching pajamas, we’re here to reclaim the narrative. This season is all about celebrating ourselves and our friendships. Whether it’s throwing a cozy pajama party with your girls, indulging in some self-care while binge-watching holiday movies, or taking a solo trip, the magic of the holidays can shine just as bright when you’re rolling solo.
We’re redefining what festive looks like: it’s not just about relationships, but about love, joy, sisterhood, family, and the freedom to do you. So grab that hot cocoa and a sexy holiday dress, those suitcases if you’re traveling, turn up the music, and let’s make this holiday season all about us—because single doesn’t mean sad; it means the girls are living life.
*Responses are anonymous by request.
1.Unwrapping Joy
"I've been single for a few years, what has helped me the most is remembering that long before I ever fell in love, I enjoyed the holidays as a child. So my focus is on inner child connection and healing during the holiday season. I do what my inner child enjoys and make room for new memories too. That and buying myself something nice."
2.Detty December
"'I'm outside headed to Detty December this holiday season, but I also have a boo lol, so I'm not totally single, but I'm still living life."
3.Gifts For Me, From Me
"This Christmas I went all out with gifts for myself. I bought everything I wanted. I finally got a dog, my dream designer bag, luxury pajamas, expensive ornaments for my tree, I did it all and it felt so damn good to not need to ask anyone to get anything for me."
4.Just the Three of Us
"My mom and older brother are the ones I'm excited to spend time with the most. We're making new memories together and going to a holiday bar, and exchanging meaningful gifts."
5.Holiday Parties Galore
"I have a slew of holiday parties to attend, and I actually asked my boo to stay home and be with his family. I'll be going to the spa next week. I have several holiday parties and premieres on my docket, but mainly, I'm looking forward to tapping into myself. Journal, enjoying my hot tub, time with my thoughts."
6.A Cowboy Carter Christmas
"This year, I'm spending Christmas day with my family and Christmas night with my girls, watching Beyoncé perform at the halftime show on Netflix. We're gonna make a night of it with espresso martinis and get cute like we always do!"
7.Home for the Holidays
"Every year my family and I go back to Jamaica to stay with my aunt for Christmas and New Year's. Gifts aren't a big deal to me, so I book the flight and head home. Christmas is a time to reset, and I look forward to relaxing, eating great food, and enjoying some Black cake."
8.Holidays with Chosen Family
"Toxic family members make it difficult for me to want to go back home, so my roommates and I are celebrating together and enjoying the holiday season. We all cook together, and it feels like we're our own little family."
9.An Intimate Christmas Dinner
"I'm not traveling for Christmas like I planned, but I'm starting off the new year with a ski trip with my girlfriends, so I'm looking forward to that, and in the meantime, I'm headed to my parent's house for Christmas dinner."
10. While My Child's Away, Mama Will Play
"My son and I used to celebrate the holidays as a family with his dad, but now that we're co-parenting, we share holidays, and this year, he's with him for half the day. When he goes there for the evening, I'll probably roll up and enjoy the peace and quiet."
11. Girls' Night In
"This is my first Christmas without my ex. It's been challenging to have the holiday spirit; we were together for years, and I miss him so much. But I'm determined to be surrounded by love and my family. I'm having a girl's night with holiday movies and my favorite dinner, and I hope to have laughter no matter how I'm feeling currently.”
12.'Twas The Night Before Christmas
"My mom hosts a huge Christmas Eve party every year for my family. I still live at home, so I help her prepare the food, and she cooks everything from shrimp, crawfish, and pasta, and we all wear holiday pajamas and exchange gifts and holiday cookies."
13.Underneath the Mistletoe
"I actually just started dating someone. It's casual, but we're having fun. I plan on exchanging gifts and possibly having some fun with the holiday lingerie I just bought. Even if he isn't my forever, we're enjoying each other and I'm in the holiday spirit."
14. Christmastime in NYC
"I've been spending my time between New York and Los Angeles, so this year it's up in the air where I'll be. My best friend just got engaged, and she asked if I would want to spend the holidays with her, so I'm thinking about it and, in the meantime, enjoying Christmas in New York City."
15.Holiday Season = Birthday Season
"As a Sagitarrius, the holiday season is my birthday season - needless to say, I'm always having a good time! Double the gifts."
16.Holiday Hostess With the Mostest
"I'm hosting Christmas for my family for the first time this year. I just moved into a new home, and Christmas breakfast is our tradition, so I'm looking forward to cooking and exchanging gifts and giving back to them what they gave me every year while I was growing up."
17.Still Processing
"Christmas isn't really that big of a deal to me; since my mom passed, I stay home and watch a movie and think of those memories, but I'm happy that my friends and extended family check on me each year to see if I'm doing okay."
18.Catching Flights Over Gifts
"I'll be honest, at times Christmas as a single woman in my thirties isn't fun to just sit at home, so I always plan a trip to make sure that I'm happy on that day instead of buying a bunch of gifts that I don't need."
19.Showing Up & Showing Out
"2024 was all about health and wellness for me, and I dropped some pounds. I'm looking better than ever. So I'm going to every Christmas party I get invited to and giving a look."
20.A Naija Christmas
"My girls and I are headed to Nigeria. We're bringing in Christmas and the new year there together and I couldn't be happier."
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Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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T-Boz & Daughter Chase Rolison On Their Mother-Daughter Dynamic & Giving Back To The LA Fire Department
Tionne "T-Boz" Wakins and her daughter Chase Rolison are your typical mother-daughter duo. They tell each other how it is, joke with one another, and, of course, support each other.
During our exclusive xoNecole interview, T-Boz, who shares her daughter with rapper Mack 10, reveals how Chase would help dress her for performances and do her and her TLC bandmate Chilli's makeup. Now, it's the Grammy award-winner's turn to support her daughter.
This Sunday, Chase is hosting a pop-up shop in Los Angeles for her new venture, Anela's Vintage, an online vintage fashion boutique. The proceeds will benefit the LA Fire Department, which has been working tirelessly to put out the wildfires ravaging the city.
Chase is an LA resident who wanted to use her platform to give back to firefighters in a big way. "I don't think that firefighters are paid anywhere near enough for what they do because I know I couldn't do something like that. I wouldn't even know where to start," Chase tells us.
"I admire them and how brave they are to even do the job that they do. And then also, LA just needs a better system in place to prevent things like this [from] happening, obviously. So it was just important to me, and I'm thankful that I have the platform to do so. So it was just important to me to give back in any way that I could and make a positive out of this really negative situation."
Anela's Vintage (Anela is Chase's middle name) is a vintage store that was influenced by the iconic Y2K era. While anyone can shop on the site, it's also a go-to spot for stylists who want to pull items for video shoots, award shows, and more.
The boutique is also a full-circle moment as T-Boz once had a children's fashion boutique named after Chase. The "No Scrubs" singer opens up about how proud she is of her daughter using her talents in a positive way.
"I think giving back to the fires is amazing because a lot of things that I do, I usually incorporate sickle cell," says T-Boz. "So the fact that she's giving back and it's coming through something that people love to do anyway, which is shop, you can't get better than that. And then you're helping people in the process, that's the perfect kind of event to me."
Since Chase followed in her mother's footsteps by getting into fashion, can we expect the same with music? "I mean, I can sing, but it's not the path I really chose," Chase says.
"Music is a huge part of my life. I love music a lot, and I'm honestly really good at things involving music. I don't know why I've never chose to do it as a career, to be honest, but at this very moment, no."
If Chase ever gets into music, T-Boz thinks she would make a great A&R executive because she has a good ear for music. When it comes to their mother-daughter dynamic, the "Girl Talk" artist jokingly says that Chase thinks she's the mother in their relationship and always tells her what to do. However, she admits that she has helped her embrace saying no to people who ask to borrow money.
Tron Austin, Rozonda Thomas, Chase Anela Rolison, and Tionne Watkins attend the CrazySexyCool Premiere Event at AMC Loews Lincoln Square 13 theater on October 15, 2013 in New York City.
Photo by Brad Barket/Getty Images for VH1
"I'm sucker free Sunday in the department of when people are sick, or say they sick, some of them be lying," T-Boz says. "But, you know, like, I have a soft spot there--"So I have said no all last year, at the end of the year, and all this year, even though we're in the beginning, I still said no."
The multi-platinum artist reveals she recently moved to Tennessee and is looking forward to writing with country artists. She also wants to get into producing films and is currently working on a TLC Broadway play. "It's not going to be typical, like behind the music and all that. It'll be more like the strength and triumph of three females and probably through the islands of the lyrics of our songs, if that makes sense," T-Boz explains.
"So I think it'll be done differently. It's time consuming. This is the third year we've been working on it, but it actually will hit Broadway next year, and I'm nervous about that. Like, she gets nervous. I get nervous."
The next steps for Chase include growing Anela Vintage and having a storefront. The pop-up shop will be held Sunday, January 26th, at 2520 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA, from 3- 9 PM.
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Feature images by David Livingston/Getty Images, @chaserolison/ Instagram