

I was standing near the waiting room of my car dealership when I felt something drop out of my body and into my panties. I knew immediately that it was my Nuvaring and my first reaction was to roll my eyes. I went to the bathroom and threw it in the garbage, voluntarily opting for a few weeks of celibacy until I could figure out my next step. One thing was sure, I was finally done with birth control.
That was thirteen years ago and, looking back, I can't be anything but grateful for that slightly embarrassing memory so long ago that led to making a change. I had been on and off birth control since I was 16 years old. From the pill to the patch to the ring – each one with its own set of problems. Either my acne increased, my periods got worse, or I was screaming at whatever significant other I had at the time. It was a constant nightmare. I knew I wasn't anywhere near ready for kids, so I felt trapped in the endless cycle of trying whatever new product my gynecologist recommended to me.
After I threw out my Nuvaring, I went home and started doing some research. What else was out there? As I looked, I kept coming across something referred to as period tracking or the rhythm method. It's a completely natural approach to family planning – whether or not your goal is prevention. I asked my gynecologist about it and her response painted a grim picture. She said it was very risky and if done wrong could lead to pregnancy. The flip side to this of course, was that if this method was done right – it could lead to a very happy vagina.
I was ready to take a risk.
The Rhythm Method For Natural Family Planning
The "rhythm method" is basically a process of recording what your body does both before and after your period every day for a few months, sometimes more. This helps create a clear picture for when you are fertile and when you are not. For example, I know that when my breasts are swollen and tender, I'm ovulating. I know that during that time I'll need to avoid crowds, and practice patience. I know that my period will start in 4-6 days and I know that if I want to have sex, it should be protected. For me, figuring this rhythm out took about 6 months of laborious note-taking, but the reward has been more than worth the effort.
When I first started out I kept a journal on my laptop that recorded symptoms, including how I felt emotionally and physically. As time went by, I tried various apps like Spot On from Planned Parenthood. My cycle changed a bit after I had my first child (who was planned) so I found myself having to do the research all over again after I gave birth. I imagine I'll have to go through the process again if I have any more children and then (much) later when I'm premenopausal. All in all, through several partners in over a decade of sex – the rhythm method has been my saving grace.
The prescription drugs we're told are so reliable, really aren't when you consider the side effects. The Nuvaring that so rudely slipped out of me that day was later recalled because it was causing deadly blood clots. Then, a nationwide panic followed after the pill that 16% of the female population takes was mispackaged, causing an increase in pregnancy. We haven't even gotten to the emotional and psychological effects of messing with our hormones. New York Times just dropped a mini documentary about a woman's experience with birth control that sounds a lot like my own.
Jumping from one solution to the next, then trying it out until you find yourself falling apart.
I lost relationships, friendships, job opportunities all because I was hopelessly depressed and wrapped around the finger of my menstrual cycle. The only thing that ever gave me peace was releasing myself from its hold entirely.
Natural Family Planning Is Taking Reproductive Health Into Your Own Hands
The biggest benefit to shaking off the birth control shackles is that I took my health into my own hands. Recording my body's changes for 6 months taught me a lot about myself. During that time, I abstained from sex every other month so I could compare my body's reaction to sex. I learned that depending on what part of the month I had sex, my period would be different. If I drank an excessive amount of coffee or alcohol, my period would last longer and be heavier. I learned to tend to my ovulation as a period itself. Resting more, eating differently, and putting my emotional needs first during those few days. When I did this, it seemed to dictate the rest of my month.
The only problem, and it's quite a doozy, when it comes to the rhythm method is the very real risk of slip-ups. First of all, no one says practicing the rhythm method is an invitation for unprotected sex. In fact, I reflect fondly on several conversations with past lovers in which I explained I don't take birth control and empowered them to take some responsibility and have condoms on hand. This method should always be accompanied with a condom when the sex is casual or the relationship isn't monogamous. That goes with every method of birth control. Slip-ups include the possibility of getting pregnant. As much as I would like to ensure every woman that she won't get pregnant trying this method, I can't.
The results are up to how willing you are to commit to the process and how much birth control is affecting you negatively.
However, there is a way to fool-proof the rhythm method and that's by simply taking your temperature. Your Basal Body Temperature (BBT) is your body's temperature when you are at rest, basically the purest reading unaffected by activity. This temperature drops a few degree points before your ovulation and then rises when ovulation is over. There are several devices on the market that offer an easy-to-use product that require you to take your temperature every day upon waking so that it can, very accurately, tell you if you are ovulating or not. The devices can can range in price from $14 to $500 depending on the type.
Whether you choose to try the rhythm method on its own or with a basal reader as a safety net, I encourage every woman reading this to get to know her vagina much better. To understand the rhythms of her hormones and emotional needs, to learn how her environment affects her insides, and to take the power of her future fertility out of the hands of pharmaceutical companies and into her own.
Featured image by Megan Madden / Refinery29 for Getty Images
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Roscoe Dash joined xoMan host Kiara Walker to share the journey of his personal and spiritual evolution—from the party anthems that made him famous to a deeper life rooted in faith, family, and purpose. This episode offers an honest look at how the artist has grown beyond early fame, addressing fatherhood, masculinity, creativity, and healing.
Dash opened up about the internal transformation that has guided him away from chasing the spotlight and toward seeking peace. “Faith and fear can’t occupy the same space,” he said, underscoring his shift toward a more spiritually grounded life. Throughout the interview, he emphasized the importance of self-reflection:
“The most important conversations to me, honestly, outside of the ones you have with God, is the ones you have with yourself in the mirror.”
Dash is focused on the man he’s become. “I’m not the accolades I’ve achieved—I’m the person who achieved them,” he added, pointing to a broader understanding of identity and worth. A large part of that growth has come through fatherhood, especially raising daughters, which he said has deepened his understanding of love. “Love is unconditional and love loves to love no matter what,” he shared.
He also spoke candidly about the pressures of fame and its impact on creativity. “Chasing fame can kill your creativity as a musician,” he warns. Instead, his advice to other artists is simple but clear: “Keep your focus on your art form, whatever that may be, and stay passionate.”
The conversation also touches on gender dynamics and emotional safety in relationships. “Safe men make soft women. If she feels safe, she’ll melt like butter,” he said, challenging traditional notions of masculinity. Roscoe also offers wisdom on discernment and spiritual testing: “Sometimes the devil will give you what looks better than your blessing.”
Ultimately, Dash has learned to embrace peace over chaos. “All I can do is control what I can control. And that's how I respond to things and what I'm giving out,” he said. It’s a thoughtful, soulful side of Roscoe Dash that many may not expect—but one that leaves a lasting impression.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
I Tried It: 3 Low-Maintenance Wigs That Will Elevate Your Look This Season
There's nothing like the feeling you get when your hair is done. It can instantly boost your confidence and put you in a great mood. I've never been a stranger to hair trends and I often experiment with the latest braided styles and colors.
But there are moments when I just don't feel like doing my hair. I'm natural and a lot of times I will braid or twist my hair up and cover it with a scarf or turban. However, when I crave a different look without the hassle of styling, I reach for a wig.
I've always had a love-hate relationship with wigs. Sometimes, I struggle to get them to lay flat and don't get me started with the bonding glue process. So when it comes to wearing wigs, I like to keep it nice and breezy around this b--- (word to Katt Williams), especially in the summertime.
That's why I jumped at the chance to try these three versatile wigs from Luvme Hair. Each one offers a unique look and is surprisingly low maintenance, which aligns perfectly with my philosophy that wearing wigs should make life easier. Let’s dive into the three styles below.
Headband Wig
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This was the first wig I tried on, and I instantly fell in love with it. So much so that it took me weeks to even consider trying the other two. I’m partial to colored hair, especially blonds, browns, and reds, so I was skeptical about the jet black hair. However, I think the color, combined with the curl pattern, worked surprisingly well for me.
One of the things I really liked about this wig was that I didn’t have to braid my hair down first. I could simply throw it over a low ponytail, which is the epitome of a low-maintenance style. The headband has combs inside and velcro on the ends, ensuring a secure fit.
Half Wig
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I had never worn a half wig before, so I faced some challenges. I cornrowed the bottom half of my hair where the wig would sit, but I believe this made it more difficult to use the combs. It might just be me though. I straightened the top part of my hair to blend it with the wig, which looked cute for about five minutes.
Firstly, I have a brown/blonde color mix on the ends of my hair, and the half wig is black. So, I had to hide some of the color (I didn’t have time to dye the wig). Secondly, straightening my hair myself is always a hassle because it never lasts long. Add to that the summer humidity, and you get a hot mess. Despite all this, I managed to get some cute pictures before things got out of control, and that’s all that matters, right?
Would I consider this a low-maintenance hair style? Yes and no. I think it’s unrealistic for me during the summer, especially since I enjoy summer activities. However, when the weather cools down, I’ll definitely rock it, dyed, of course.
Bob
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Now, this is the wig I was nervous about. I never had a bob and I didn't think I would like it. But once I put bobiana on, my mind instantly changed. I finally understood why the gworls rave about the bob so much. It was giving boss. It was giving grown woman. It was giving the bob means business. Iykyk. It was the ultimate statement.
I will say when I first put it on, one side of my wig just would not lay flat. It took some trial and error, but I finally managed to get it to look good. With the bob, I highly recommend braiding your hair down first as small as you can so it can lay as flat as possible. I really liked the ash blonde color, which is perfect for summer. The length also makes it a great low-maintenance style for the season, so you don't have to worry about the hair making your neck sweaty.
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